Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Questions Kids Ask That Make You Choke

This is rated PG-13.  Well, at least to me it is.  

While running a million errands last night with my family, I was relaxing and enjoying my David Sunflower seeds sitting in the front seat.  Charles was inside the building paying some bills while we sat in the van.  I of course have 6 kids sitting in the back.  Chaz, my 10 year old, asks very loudly just as it got quiet in the van,

"Mom, what's sex?!"

Ack!  (Cough, uh)  I started choking on my seeds.  Ryan (9) tries to offer his idea.  Wasn't correct.  I have all these little kids in the back seat.  I am NOT answering this question here and now.  AND NOT when I'm caught off guard. That's so unfair.

I start sweating.  What to say? What to say?  So I calmly just say (for now) "It's when married people are affectionate with each other.  Something you only do in marriage."  


"Chaz, where did you learn that word?"  (Thinking of an influence at school).

"Mom, I read it in the bible."

It was my turn to say, "Oh".

There is only one problem with that answer.  Even though it was legit for now.  What if we are walking by a couple making out and Chaz says loudly, "Oh, look.  Those people are having sex!"  I would have to crawl under a rock.

More questions started to come.
"Mom, what happens if you are married but you kiss someone else?"
"Well, that's called Adultery."
"Can I have a girlfriend?".
"No, Chaz you have to be 18 and court."
"Well, I really like this girl at school.  So she can't be my girlfriend?"
"No, you are 10.  By the way, is she a Christian?"
"No, those are too hard to find.  There a million non Christian girls and only a few Christian ones."
"Well, Chaz, I'd rather you pick from 10 honest to goodness Christian girls if you had to than from a million of unsaved ones."
"Wow, that's gonna be hard."
"Yeah, well it's worth it.  Trust me, when the time comes you'll have more than 10 to choose from."

Starting to get worried because this sounds a LOT (no pun intended) like Lot (in the bible) asking God if he would save the Sodom and Gomorrah if there were at least 10 that served God.  Well, God couldn't even find 10.

Let's hope 8 years from now or more that there are at least 10 Christian women to choose from.  Ha.
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