Boys Home from Guatemala

Guatemala for my boys was an 8 day trip.  Definitely an adventure!  They saw a volcano nearby, visited many schools, an orphanage, took a boat ride, prayed with a lot of people, and brought food to homes.  I'm SO PROUD of my boys. They definitely came back with a different perspective of America.

  

Ryan talked to me about how neat the market is.  How the money I sent with him was so much more there.  He didn't get much time to shop but it was neat how he was able to negotiate price.  They brought home some interesting treats for me to try.  :)

Chaz came home at midnight and immediately wanted to talk to us.  He had a major experience during the missions trip.  He absolutely loved praying with people and encouraging.  He loved being busy every day even though it was tiring.  There wasn't much time for play as they had their days packed with outreaching from place to place.  Chaz was such at ease talking to people he didn't know.  This is Chaz we're talking about here.  If you go way back in this blog, to around 2005-2007, Chaz had a hard time with communication, and some violent behaviors.  He's come such a long way! He's almost 17 and has such a big heart for people and patience for kids.

I'm glad my boys are home.  Even though they're tired, in the morning we are volunteering at an orphanage here in the valley.  I'm glad they get at least one day of rest.  :)

Learning How to Live Gluten-Free

Oh my goodness, life has been incredibly busy.  I don't mean to but I do tend to make my life harder.  I wish I could do it ALL but I just can't.  I decided that since I have an overload of non-food items from couponing, I'll only be couponing in the summer.  Seriously, I think my 40 deodorants will last me for a year or two that I've acquired over the summer.  Ya think?  Ha ha.  I don't want to be a hoarder.  Well, that frees up time for me to learn other important things.


My friend and I have spent HOURS learning about how to eat gluten-free.  I mean, we've spent HOURS.  While the kids went to their one-day-a-week school today, we went around looking for gluten-free bakeries and finding healthy stores.  Um, it's really expensive to have food made for you that's gluten-free.  It is so much better to learn how to make it all on your own.  I got a book awhile back from Future Horizons that is a recipe book for gluten-free cooking.  Special Diets for Special Kids.  Over 200 revised and new Gluten-free, casein-free recipes.  It's a fantastic book because the recipes are for kids in mind.  What can we make that's healthy, doesn't have a million ingredients, and kid will love?  Even better, it's not gonna hurt them if they have an allergy because substitutes were made.  Well, it's not nearly as hard as I thought.  Michele and I went to Whole Foods and had so much fun sampling everything.  I think I sampled the mangoes so much that it equaled just eating a whole mango.  So funny.  They had this machine that had peanuts in it and you can grind it.  Guess what comes out?  Peanut butter of course!  No yucky preservatives in it, just good ol' fashion peanuts.  Nothing needed to be added to it.  I'm in loooove with the store.

at least I try to convince myself... haha

Tonight Michele and I made Chicken Curry and some drink smoothies.  I called it Hulk Juice because it was tons of different fruit, kale leaves, and amazingly healthy for you.  The kids downed it.  We proved to them that great juice doesn't have to be about drinking Koolaid.  :D  Why does healthy food have to be more expensive?  Whyyyyy?  It's so much easier to go into Fry's (Kroger) and just snatch up $1 savings here and there but if it's bad for Chaz, My Aspergers son, and ADD son and daughter, I'll take that extra steps to help them.  I think Michele and I just have so much fun learning about all these interesting things and we tend to venture off into new things together.  I love having a friend like that.  Makes it so much more fun to explore when you're laughing half way through it.  :D

Here is the smoothie we made tonight.  See?  Not difficult at all!  Was yummy too.  :D

Click to enlarge picture

Why I Have a Lot of Kids

My husband's work has been slow so he has not worked at all this week.  Yikes!  I have to say though that I LOOOOOVE having hubby home.  He's my best friend and we have tons of fun with the kids together.  The last couple of days we've taken the van to get worked on and then hung out at fun places together. We FINALLY have our big van back and we are so relieved.  However, we are still looking to take the captain seats out and putting a bench in for the kids.  We need the extra seat belt and we need to separate our Aspergers kids so he is not right next to someone else.  We are gonna have baby Juliet be in between Chaz and Ryan. That should settle the issues we are having.

Today while I was holding baby Juliet, Charles and I were just commenting on how far we've come with how we think of babies.  It USED to be that babies were a ton of work and we couldn't wait till they got a bit bigger.  You know, like wanting them to hold their own bottle (if they can't nurse), be potty trained, dress themselves, make their own sandwich.  Ohhhhh, how things have changed.  Before having Juliet people were asking me if I was nervous at all.  I was nervous.  I was worried about the work of a baby again till I had her and then realized how truly easy it's become.  It gets easy when you've learned to put others above yourself.  When you've been changing diapers for 12 years without any breaks in between.  It gets easy when you realize that it actually gets harder in other ways as they grow older.  I wish I could take Chaz and Ryan back down to their baby years and just be happy with cuddling them and not wishing for them to grow up.  It's easier than having to correct issues of the heart.  I guess maybe simpler is the right word.  Ahhh... I love my babies.  People wonder why I have so many.  Well, when you love (almost) every day of your life because you are surrounded by cute and funny kids, it makes it hard to imagine being DONE.  Now, if I complain tomorrow about how hard life is, know that it's probably because the house got messy. AGAIN.  

Actually, I'll just get the complaining out now.  Oh my gosh, the kids just had a hay day in this house.  We have been in and out so much that I can hardly keep up.  The boys got back from their 3 day camping trip and mama has to clean and put away all the clothes. It stinks like mud, smoke, and sweat.  Guys are just so sweet smelling, huh?  Don't ask if you can come over my house right now. I'll just say no.  Well, last night I went in the girl's room and asked them to just pick out the stuff they want to keep and I'll throw out the rest.  They literally picked only five items to keep.  I insisted we keep all costumes because I KNOW they love to play in them even though it wasn't the items they picked. The rest went into the donation bag.  This is gonna be done in every room.

Ivy's Night at the Burn Ward

Last night I was excited to take my oldest son and go workout at the gym.  While we were there he ran into his friend who also has Aspergers syndrome.  They went swimming together while I was upstairs in the gym working out.  The picture you see of my view while I'm on the elliptical.  The mom and I started talking after my workout and we were sharing ideas about school and helping our sons.  Chaz had turned my phone off to save the battery but I told him to turn it back on.  Well, we forgot to turn it on for about 15 minutes and that's exactly when Charles was trying to call me and let me know Ivy got hurt.

Ivy's left thigh

On my way home with Chaz I get a call on my cell and Charles was calling from inside an ambulance. My heart just dropped as I anxiously waited to hear who was hurt and if they are okay.  I could hear Ivy screaming in the background and I could hear she was in terrible pain.  Because he couldn't get a hold of me he had to get a neighbor to watch our kids so he can ride in the ambulance with her.  I felt so bad!  I only had my cell phone off for 15 minutes.  

Before the gym I had put food in a crockpot.  Since it was gonna take awhile I just pushed it back towards the wall in a corner and told the kids to stay away from it.  Ivy wasn't in the room and didn't hear me.    I never boiler water on the front burners and I always push anything that's hot toward the back wall on the counter. Well, she made herself a bowl while I was gone and before Charles could see her. She sat down to eat and baby Caleb crawled up on her lap and made it spill.  That's how the burn happened.  Charles pulled her pants off and saw the skin boiling and peeling away so he called 911. 

She was screaming for so long they finally had to put anti-anxiety meds in her I.V. and gave her lots of pain meds.  She relaxed but still felt pain, just not as bad.  She started getting a little goofy saying funny things.  In this picture she is showing her daddy her bracelets and telling him how expensive they were. She started being so cute once she was relaxed.  She doesn't remember any of it though.  

She was released last night but is to come back tonight to have it all looked at again.  Thankfully it only turned out to be a second degree burn but they still won't completely know the damage until it heals.  Burns keep damaging for awhile. They gave her a type of bandage over her leg that falls off once the wound heals and it'll take about 3 weeks.  Poor Ivy.  I'm going out to buy a baby gate so if anything is cooking I can keep any kids out of the kitchen.  It's just too scary with little ones.

Ivy happy once she got medicine through her I.V.

Self Made Dimples and Coffee Thieves

Ivy in church raising her hand for prayer

We started back up our bible study at home with our kids.  :)  I would love to share a neat resource with you that I found by chance.  First of all, I have this audio bible drama presentation (Kidz Bible) of primary Old and New Testament stories.  We'll pick a chapter or several chapters to hear, and then I'll print out worksheets.  I'm not a huge fan of NIV.  Actually, I'm not a fan at all of NIV versions of the bible but for the sake of telling a story in the bible for little ones, this CD is fantastic.  While they are listening I have them draw the story in their notebook.  The worksheets will have something to do with the bible story and I print out different ones per age.  It's just really neat and we look forward to it every day.  Chaz was trying to get me to do a second bible study yesterday.  :D  When I said no he just picked up his bible and started reading to himself.  He says everyone should read at least one chapter a day.  I'm not sure of his reading comprehension though because that was one of the issues he had in his evaluation.  He can read straight through a whole book and not know what he read.  Aspergers kids tend to see things in pictures so he learns better visually.  He even understands better listening to the story which is why this CD comes in handy.

Kyle and Ashley

You know, I'm still wondering why NONE of my kids got my dimples.  I have SEVEN kids and NOT one got them.  I love it when kids have dimples.  I'm thinking that since I got them from my grandpa then maybe I'll have grandkids with them.  LOL.  Don't be fooled by this picture, Kyle doesn't have them.  He created that dimple by walking into a corner of the wall.  No joke.  I know God sees the desires of our heart but I really wasn't wanting a dimple to be made like this.  I'd prefer them to just come that way from birth. 

You know how kids come up to you and say something without you really paying attention?  Well, somehow I agreed that once Ivy turns seven, which was a few days ago, she would be allowed to drink coffee.  Hmmm... well, every day she counted down to her birthday because she was excited about that cup of coffee.  Seeing her excitement when the day came, I really didn't want to see her face fall and so I just acted like I knew what I was doing all along.  Of course if it was something more serious I'd reel it back in.  If she said when she turns seven she'll start robbing banks and I agreed, I would take that one back.  This is just coffee so I'll deal with it.  I told her the deal is that her and I share a cup of coffee so when I brew one every morning, I split it into two cups.  A half cup for me and half cup for her. Of course when she walks away, I add more to mine.  Heh heh.  This morning I ended up with half a cup again because two year old Caleb stole mine when I wasn't looking.  Goodness!

Taking a Trip Out of Town

Last weekend I took 3 of the kids out of town with me so we could visit some friends.  It's a much smaller town but more trees so we were excited to go.  Melanee has a gorgeous house and I got lost a few times just trying to find my way around.  LOL.  Melanee's son has Aspergers Syndrome just like my oldest son so we like to find ways to get them together and visit.  Dexter and Chaz are best friends and missing living close to each other.

I love kids just being kids, playing in the dirt, catching frogs.  Whatever.  :D  I love, love this picture of Melanee's daughter holding the frog.

My favorite thing was to sip coffee in the morning in front of these windows.  She lives on a hill so you can see for a long way.

This picture doesn't do justice for how long that rope really is and how far you swing out.  Ryan got me to climb the hill up to the tree swing to show me.  When you swing out, the hill goes down so you'd better not fall off.

Then we started crafts and Melanee showed the girls how to make silly putty but with glitter.  It was neat and sooo easy!  

Above: Ivy's friend Cassidy holding silly putty

We visited a nearby park before I had to come back and Ryan swung the girls on the tire swing.  We didn't get to be there long but it was awesome that we had that time together.  It was fun seeing how such a small town operates because there is pretty much one of everything.  It's actually a huge desire for me to live in a smaller town but close enough to the city to easily drive there.  We're definitely gonna visit in the summer for their family events.  

Autism Awareness 2012- My Son's Aspergers Diagnosis

This is Autism Awareness month and so I  wanted to talk some about Chaz and what it's been like the last 6 years since I found out he has Aspergers.

Chaz 11 years old

Sometimes I don't mind talking about it but other times (like now) I have a hard time with it.  It's not because I'm ashamed or because I am in denial.  Sometimes I get sad because I want the best for him in life and it kills me that I can't just fix everything for him.

My baby Chaz

Autism (or Aspergers) can come with bullying and he's had his fair share.  There is a reason I homeschool Chaz and it's not just because of other kids.  I have major trust issues even with teachers.  He's had a couple of good ones and a couple of really bad ones.  He's been mistreated by his teachers and been put to shame in from of other children.  Do you think it's normal to have a young child depressed and suicidal?  No, it's not normal.  I didn't know he had a teacher that was putting him out in the hallway of his school every day with his own desk.  He was told he can listen but can't be in the classroom with everyone else.  He was called the school freak because not even the teacher wanted him in the room.  Was I told about this by anyone?  Did anyone ask my permission before doing that?  Nope.  I was told everything was going fantastic by his teacher and other staff members.  He's been beat up, choked, mocked, etc.  I can't talk about it or write about it without crying.  The boy I carried for 9 months, nursed for 5, cared for, and loved, was having to leave his safe home every day and face a harsh world.  I didn't know he was mentally beaten down till he started writing about wanting to kill himself.  That was it for me.  My boy was coming home and staying with me.  He's not a freak.  He may be different but he's God's perfect creation and he was gifted to me.

Chaz (left) playing with his brother 12 months younger

You want to know how I found out he had Aspergers Syndrome?  Well, he was a pretty tough toddler and would never look me in the eye before he was five.  I figured he was just a really tough kid.  After all, I had 3 boys within 3 years and had my hands full.  Chaz was majorly delayed in potty training and I was beginning to worry he was going to go to Kindergarten in diapers.  He did have some speech issues but like I said, he was my first kid.  I didn't really know what was normal behaviors.  I have to admit I was relieved when Chaz got to school age.  Taking care of him was really, really tough and I looked forward to that break in the day.  I took Chaz to his first day and crowded in with other parents at the school.  Everyone was excited that their baby was growing up.  I looked around the white room and the tables and chairs that were set up.  Was Chaz really gonna sit in those chairs like a big kid?  Really?  I had an unsettling feeling in my gut when I left him there.  As I was leaving I looked back and saw his eyes wide looking at me.  I figured it was just mommy nerves and left to celebrate our kids' first day with other friends.  Soon after I get a phone call that I needed to come get my son because he had bit his teacher on the first day.  Crud.  I picked him up and brought him home hoping the next day would be a better day.  The next day I drop him off but get a phone call half way through the day again.  I needed to take Chaz to the hospital.  Chaz kicked his teacher, ran from her and then ran straight into a metal door splitting his head open.  Really?  He must've been freaking out.  I called Charles and he came with me to the school to pick him up.  Was Chaz freaking out and crying?  Nope. When I went to pick him up from school he was just smiling and happy to see us. He was calmly talking to us as if there were no hole right in the front of his forehead.  It was so deep we could see his skull and he wasn't even complaining.  The school called and said that there are only 3 strikes allowed and Chaz already had his second.  Being that Chaz has only been to school 2 days, that didn't leave a lot of room.  I pulled him out that day and enrolled him in another school.

You can see the scar where Chaz was stitched up

The next school wasn't nearly as strict and the room looked a lot more friendly.  I had a better feeling about this one and he had the sweetest teacher.  After a few days she started calling and telling me about some troubles she was having.  I really didn't know what to do as I figured it was just some behavior issues.  Rolling on the floor under the desks?  Licking the floor?  Hmmm.... Odd, but I had no idea what to think about it.  While the other kids were working, my son was in his own little world.  I was starting to get desperate as I got report after report of my son's behavior in the classroom.  I was feeling like a pretty crappy parent I guess I should say.  My shoulder started to droop each day as I went to pick him up.  On a particular day I was feeling really defeated when the school counselor walked up to me and asked if he could talk to me.  He had done some research that week for my son and printed out what he thought Chaz might be dealing with.  The title of the paper said Aspergers Syndrome.  I could tell he was a little hesitant suggesting this to me not knowing how I would take it.  He read some of the list to me and it was like he was reading about Chaz.  My heart lifted as I realized that maybe all this time Chaz was dealing with something bigger.  This meant I could get some help.  Mr. Chavez looked relieved that I wasn't offended but I'm sure he couldn't miss the sadness in my eyes.  I was happy there might be some answers but sad that there might be an answer to all this.  My son?  With the reports from the teacher and the school counselor, notes from mommy, observing Chaz, he was quickly diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome.  The doctor said there as no doubt whatsover that he had this and sent me home with my mind whirling even more.  Where do I go from here?

Chaz 8 years old

I've made mistakes along the way with trying to stumble along different paths.  Do I put him in a self contained classroom?  NO.  I discovered that he copies behavior and since the rest of the class was pretty wild, cussed, and threw tables and chairs, Chaz would also do these things.  After a year of that mess I found a different school and wonder of all wonders I found an angel of a teacher.  She just happened to have trained to work with Aspergers kids in New York for 3 years.  NO WAY!  She taught regular first grade and said it was no problem whatsoever to teach Chaz in her classroom.  She taught me everything she could about Aspergers and how to help Chaz.  She was an angel teacher and I wish I could go back and give her a big hug for everything she did.  She took one of the times of my life and made it feel like it was gonna be okay. She gave me the confidence I needed as a parent to help him.  Chaz no longer was rolling on the floor but doing very well.  He was given a seat in the front-left.  He was still sitting with the kids but much closer to the teacher's desk.  He was given a visual schedule and 5 minutes warnings before each task was to be done.  He was given an assistant to sit with him during math and language arts hour to help him focus.  Chaz was given more breaks and was even allowed his own snack time.  Since his legs were more sensitive than usual the teacher bought a cushion for his chair he had to sit in every day.  This lady UNDERSTOOD Chaz.  I will always be so grateful to her.  Unfortunately when kids advance in grades they change teachers.  It pretty much went downhill from there trying to find teachers who could work with Chaz.  I think most of the problem is just ignorance.  If teachers don't understand Aspergers then they aren't going to know what works for them.  I communicated as best I could but often was just treated like my son was naughty and he just needed to be punished.

Chaz and I 2009

I didn't have the best support.  Some said I would ruin his life by pinning Aspergers on him.  Some felt I just needed to spank him.  One lady at church even went as far as to say my son was demon possessed.  Yeah, that one hurt.  Charles and I felt very alone in our journey and really didn't even know whether or not we were gonna medicate Chaz.  After trying for a week of medicating Chaz and seeing him actually get worse, we never medicated since.  So far our stance is that we will only medicate if he becomes a danger to himself or anyone in our family.  Over the last 6 years I've gotten advice from so many people who tell me what I need to do.  Not one of them ever had to deal with someone who had Aspergers but I know they were just trying to help.

Chaz's best friend Dexter also has Aspergers

Yesterday I was at a Behavior Health center and was able to talk to someone about Chaz.  I told the man that I needed a new doctor for Chaz but was very hesitant.  He asked what my fears were but I drew a blank.  As I sat there in silence for a minute, I realized why.  So many people I trusted had actually hurt my son more.  Even though there were a couple of good teachers and a good doctor in the mix, he's dealt with a lot of bad.  I've been holding my son in a protective embrace and have a hard time opening up to trust someone with my son.  I know this doctor can help Chaz, but what if he does what another doctor did?  His original doctor that helped us get so far was one day just gone.  I wasn't given a warning at all.  He was assigned a new doctor who was very cold and didn't care to talk to me at all. He talked to us for 10 minutes and try to change Chaz's diagnosis all together.  He knew nothing about Chaz but wanted to just get us out of there.  I left and never went back.  I know it's time to find a new doctor that can work with us but I'm gonna have to open up and talk about everything again.  This will be good for us since as Chaz gets older we deal with new issues.  I hate that he can't make friends and that kids give him funny looks when he tries to talk and relate with him.  I'm happy he made friends with another boys that has Aspergers.  I wonder how he will be as a teen or ask an adult?  All those things I worry about but I try not to.  I just have to take one day at a time.

Our family at the Science Center 2011 (Chaz top left)

One thing for sure is that I love Chaz with all my heart.  He's my firstborn and my son.  Chaz has taught me more about unconditional love, PATIENCE, forgiveness, and tolerance like no other.  I can't imagine missing out on a kid like him. :)  It's not hard every day but we sure have our moments.  Challenges change as he gets older but he never has to doubt whether or not his parents love him, support him, and he knows he has the biggest cheerleaders in this family.

Vaccines: A Crime Against Humanity

 This is an EXCELLENT video and answers all the questions I've had about vaccinations and the dangers of it. I've just seen too much in my own life and families around me that are hurting from vaccinations.  I'm talking about FRIENDS in my personal life that I know who are effected greatly from giving their kids vaccinations.  That's shocking.  People have been really pressuring me to get my kids vaccinated because there has been an outbreak of some things.  In this video she says that there was an outbreak in Iowa where 67% of the children who had contracted mumps had already gotten the vaccination so they "should have been protected." Same with the pertussis outbreak in California.  A vast majority already had the full series of the vaccination.  This is a great video to watch.

Here is the video.

Finding a Friend and Then Saying Goodbye

Cassidy and Ivy

It is really difficult for Chaz to find a good friend that he can really relate to. Also, his friend has a little sister who is Ivy's good friend.  Not only that, but their mom and I have a lot in common.  Well, today they are moving out of town. Sniff.... they will only be an hour and a half away but it's still not so easy to just stop by.  Chaz is just devastated. It's really not easy for kids with Aspergers Syndrome to make friends.  His friend also has Aspergers Syndrome and so they just really got along well.  Yesterday I went over her house to help her sort and pack.  I helped pack her son's room and daughter's room.  I really do love to sort, sift out, and organize.  It's soooo much easier doing it with other people's stuff than your own.  I've moved 9 times before we bought this house so sorting and packing is my thing. I really like it.  Of course not all by myself.  It's stressful doing it alone and that's why I wanted to come over and help.  I'm gonna miss them though.

After I left from Melanee's house I picked up my kids and the extra kids at my house and we headed to the Christmas play at our church.  It was more geared towards adults but was really interesting.  It was hard not to fall asleep though from packing all day.  Part of me felt like I just want to be home in bed but then I also want to be faithful to church.  I'm glad I did, waved a tired goodbye to my mom and remembered that I still needed to pick up two of my kids in the next city over. I let Chaz and Ivy play longer at at their friend's house to say goodbye.  It was harder for me to have to go and pick them up after the play but they needed that extra time.  Chaz cried when he left Dexter's house.  He said, "Mom, you have no idea what it's like to lose a friend forever."  :(  I know exactly how it feels.  Whether it's from betrayal, a friend moving, or passing away, we've all felt that loss.  I was so tired but it wasn't the time to be impatient.  His heart was just sad and needed someone to understand.

It's so cute when I'm washing dishes and I turn around to see that Ashley and Caleb cuddled up on the dining room floor and fell asleep together. You KNOW later in life, as teens, they would never do something so cute like that.  Ashley had set up a stuff animal and blanket to lay on and then Caleb came and joined her.  She even sacrificed her binky for Caleb so he'd be happy.  She's finally starting to say she doesn't need it.  Thank goodness.  It's very difficult to break an older one from the binky habit when there is a baby underneath that still loves them.  I used to make a big deal about age and binky use but now...who cares?  I've stopped rushing everything and following everything by the book.  Same with potty training.  Pressure from other moms doesn't intimidate me one bit.  When they are ready, then they're ready and you'll know it.

There is no way to be a perfect parent, but a million ways to be a really good one.

So, This Is Chaz

So, this is Chaz in the red shirt (above).  He is nine.

Chaz is homeschooled but he goes to a class once a week to do the extras such as music, PE, computer, etc.  The thing is that Chaz has Asperger Syndrome. He's a very difficult child for me and for his teachers.  I got a call today that he hit a kid.  Chaz very much acts very, very immature for his age.  How you would expect a four year old to act at times.  He has his good moments though.  Like when he's sleeping.  No, just kidding!  He does have his good times.  For the most part though he will get the whole family going.  The thing about Aspergers is that they can't keep their hands to themself.  They don't understand personal body space.  They don't always understand that if you want to make a friend that, no, you don't go up and hit them and say hello.  You just say hello.  Looking at the two last pictures I realized that you can see what I'm talking about.  He's constantly touching someone.  How you see him there, he is always at home.  I feel bad that he doesn't have any friends.  Thankfully, he has 5 other siblings because they put up with him and play with him.  He frustrates them an awful lot but they forgive him often.  I'm so baffled at times how to help Chaz.  Sometimes he tries my patience but I have to always remind myself that although he is different and very difficult, he is very precious to me and he does have a good Chaz of being successful and having good relationships.  Hopefully, as he grows older he'll mature more and learn how to respect other people and their feelings. They don't have much empathy but I sure have to help him learn it.  I love this kid like crazy.  If only I had all the answers.

Tough Times With Chaz

http://meetchaz.blogspot.com

These last few months have been very hard with my oldest son. He is almost nine next month. He had been diagnosed with Aspergers a few years ago. He has his good days and his bad days. Lately, there have been a lot of bad days. I love him so much. He's very special to me. Sometimes you have to have so much patience to deal with him though that it can really wear you down. I called my pastor tonight, before church, and told him some things that Chaz has been doing. He's been punching himself in the face a lot. Calling himself names. When he really gets mad at his siblings, I have to always intervene because he can get pretty violent. His doctor had told me before that with Chaz you have to "unwind" him when he's upset. Don't get mad back. Take him aside, talk to him really calm while you have him alone. Give him a few minutes to relax. This is why public school isn't good for him. He already has a tough time being set in a big classroom. 

 I found out he was having outbursts again in his classroom. They told me they were dealing with it but later I found out he was just being put out in the hallway, outside his classroom and left there. They would take his whole desk and put him out there. Talk about rejection. My son LOVES music. He responds well to it. That was the class Chaz was excellent in. The music teacher could never understand why he was out in the hallway. The difference with this teacher was how he talked to Chaz. I've put Chaz in SO many schools and rarely have a found a place that works good with him. Everybody wants the funding they get from the government for him. He brings good money to a school because of his Aspergers. But they DON'T go out of their way to find what works for him. It's so frustrating.

After church tonight, my husband brought Chaz up to pastor so they could talk. My pastor knows how to talk to Chaz and they have a good relationship. Pastor told Charles that he really felt quickened to share a story to him about when he was little. When pastor was little was he would suffer from asthma attacks. The only way his father could calm him down to help him was by holding him and putting his ear to his chest. Hearing his father's heartbeat helped him enough to calm down and breathe. One time it saved his life. When pastor shared that, Charles got it. In Chaz's freak out moments, instead of getting frustrated with him, he needed love. He needed one of us to sit with him, hug him, and tell him everything is going to be okay. After church, there came our opportunity. Chaz started to flip out at the table. Charles at first responded like who would before. Of course it didn't work. Then he remembered pastor's words. He tried it with Chaz and instantly Chaz calmed down. It worked so well that Chaz was calm the rest of the evening. He just needs that extra love and patience. 

 Sometimes we can get so busy we don't want to stop what we're doing. But in real life, a counter can wait to be wiped, the phone can be left ringing, email can be checked later, the dishes can sit in the sink a little longer. Just stop and take time for a hug or something that will help someone. In reality, some things won't slow down for us. Our children growing up, our parents growing older, a friend that needs a good word. etc. You can't make those things stand still.

Walmart Diagnosis

My fellow blogger at Homeschool and Etc. made this really funny comment. I can't help but agree.....

"Note to fellow shoppers: You usually cannot diagnose Autism Spectrum Disorders based on what you see my children doing at the local Wal-Mart. Quit it, or get a medical degree and charge me the $25 copay like everybody else."

I couldn't of said it better myself! My son is high functioning Aspergers and you wouldn't believe all the different diagnoses I get from people. LOL.

New IEP for Chaz in School

(Picture shows Chaz being hugged by his classmates last year.)
Well, we had another review for Chaz that is required yearly for him and to update his IEP plan for school. I put him in a new charter school this year and I am very pleased with them. I about fell off my chair when I found out that his first grade teacher spent the last 3 years working with Asperger Syndrome students and studied it. How could I get so lucky? I knew it had to be God in control again.

 When we sat down with the workers the other day, it took a couple of hours to discuss everything they have learned of Chaz's evaluation. Yes, Chaz has Aspergers, no, he does not have Bi-Polar disorder. He told me that Chaz will copy the behaviors of other children and he never should have been put in a self-containment classroom. That was the worst thing for him. He was in a pretty wild classroom last year with kids who had all kinds of aggressive behaviors. He is now in a regular classroom but is privately worked with as needed. Instead of sitting within the students in the classroom, he has his own desk next to the teacher. He told me that Chaz is extremely intelligent and does very well with Math. He loves to work and is very well behaved. He is a very good kid but has to be taught how to socially interact with other children. He also said that their senses are 3 times more than ours so when we hear music or people talking, it is 3 times louder for him. Same as touch. Also his frustration and anxiety level is so much more and he can be worked up easier. The other kids need to be taught to be sensitive to this. Also, they generally need to eat and drink more and so he is now being brought breakfast to his desk every morning since his bus doesn't arrive on time to go to the cafeteria. He will be able to snack and drink as needed rather than have restrictions.

 Also, he was not happy about Chaz having to ride the bus for long periods of time so he is possible arranging for Chaz and Ryan to both be picked up before and after school in a private car and that will be placed in his IEP plan. They helped me to understand that Asperger kids see things in pictures first before words. So the teacher has pictures she shows Chaz to give him orders. For example, if she needs him to be quiet, then she will hold up a card of a character making the quiet symbol. When they are told to be quiet, they imagine the picture first and then the words follow. Otherwise, without the pictures, it may take telling him several times before it processes fully. They said it would be good for me to label things around the house such as "bed", "refrigerator", etc. They are very visually oriented and this helps them a lot. Anyhow we talked for about two hours and there was so much discussed it would take too long to write! LOL! It was very encouraging and good know to that there are very successful people who have Asperger Syndrome in the world and it can be a gift. People such as Steven Spielberg and Albert Einstein. It is harder when they are younger but if they are put on the right path, they will do extremely well in life. As hard as it's been in the last few years, I know God has placed a gift in my hands. My little boy Chaz.

What's Working for Chaz

Charles and I are so excited that we have found the root cause of Chaz's emotional outbreaks. I got to visit again with Chaz's doctor and we found that there was no change when he was on Ritilin but there was a significant change when Chaz was put on Abilify. I guess Ritilin never worked for my husband either. He had to use a different form for his ADHD. What IS working for Chaz is for people that have some type of Mood Disorder. There are various kinds. Chaz has been excellent in school and has been scoring perfect in his behavior every day for the last few days. Even at home. Usually Chaz fluctuates between being happy, mad, enraged, crying, back to happy again. Usually he causes a lot of stress in the household! But not since last Wednesday since he was started on Abilify. Actually, Abilify is one of the safest ones to use for Mood Disorders. This has been a huge relief for Charles and I and also for Chaz's teacher. She said she can't believe how well behaved he's been in school. We have never seen Chaz so happy since... well, never! We are also watching to see if he is able to focus in his classroom and learn. If he really struggles, then we will find something for his ADHD. For now we of course don't give him things with much sugar in it because we know it aggrivates his ADHD. I really like his doctor and I'm very impressed with him because he is slow and careful with his decisions. I can't tell you how excited Charles and I are about this new step with Chaz. After I have done much study about ADHD and Mood Disorders, I am sad to see that there are actual websites out there that say it's a fraud. Obviously those people have never dealt with it in their personal lives. I also learned that although it is helpful knowing what they are allergic to, eliminating those things does help the issues, but doesn't cure it. So I will be getting some allergy tests done but not eliminating the medication. This has been an unbelievable step up for us. I am so excited!!!

Chaz's Update

First off, if you haven't been following our experience with Chaz click here view all my entries with "aspergers" in it.
As I learning to how to work with Chaz and exactly what is going on in that mind of his, I see how fragile he truly is. Times when I thought he was just throwing a fit, I now see as an emotional breakdown. He doesn't know how to bring himself back once he's crossed that line. I know how to calm him down. His teacher doesn't do this very well, but then again, she teaches an "ADHD" class. She is not trained in this area. Although I have to say I love her and she is very good at what she does. My son has learned very well under her teaching. Next year I plan on putting Chaz in a class that is specifically designed for Asperger kids. Aspergers is a social disorder and most people that don't understand or know him, tend to think he's just a mean kid. Chaz definitely is on an emotional roller coaster. One moment he can be happy and the next he can be screaming and throwing chairs at kids. Not a fun thing to deal with. Of course he's better at home because he is comfortable with us. This is a social disorder. Unfortuntately, there are ignorant people that don't even believe in ADHD. Sadly I was one of those until I had Chaz. Then I read James Dobson's book. He said that the reason there is such a negative view on the subject is because people have seen kids who were overdiagnosed just because they were active boys with some energy. But there really is ADHD out there and until that person is helped, it can be a rocky road ahead of them. I am looking into all kinds of things. Studying different avenues of treatment. Not just thowing out ideas because I am ignorant of it. I simply am looking at ever clue I can find. I am trying medicine as well as looking into his diet. Meeting with doctors, allergist. All sorts. For now, his behavior is worsening at school and things are not getting any easier for his teacher. I found a lady who's son also is a high functioning Aspergers and I hope to get some answers from her soon!

*Asperger Syndrome*
Individuals with AS can exhibit a variety of characteristics and the disorder can range from mild to severe. Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness. They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest. They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language) and very often the individual with AS has difficulty determining proper body space. It's important to remember that the person with AS perceives the world very differently. Therefore, many behaviors that seem odd or unusual are due to those neurological differences and not the result of intentional rudeness or bad behavior, and most certainly not the result of "improper parenting".

Meeting with School

I wasn't looking forward to meeting with the new school my son will be going to next week. I'm already frustrated that he has to change schools in the first place. My first impression was bad when I walked into the nurse's office to get a cup for a drink, this lady comes walking in looking like she hates her job asking what I was doing. I told her and she gave me a scowl. After she walked out, I looked at the kids in the room and I said, "Please tell me that's not the school nurse". They said she wasn't. Phew. That would be one mean nurse. 

I then went in to meet the teachers and see Chaz's new classroom. I ask who the new teacher is and guess who it was? I saw them pointing to that very lady that looked like she just ate 10 lemons. I about walked out right then and there but decided to just stay and listen. When just the director was in the room I said, "Um, I don't like that teacher". Fortunately I was wrong and I just thought they were pointing to that lady. The real teacher is actually tough but pretty nice. It was a 2 hour (zzzzz..) meeting but also a very stressful meeting.

You see, Chaz was put into first grade this year against my wishes. He is supposed to be repeating Kindergarten. Click here to read the previous post on this subject. I was a little frustrated because when I told the teachers in the meeting about Chaz's diagnoses with Aspergers Syndrome (and OCD), they only cared about the ADHD. They kind of blew me off on that subject and said they didn't really believe in it. They were kind of mocking. I couldn't believe it. They were saying stuff like, "what do doctors know". Mrs. Hood came to my rescue when she told them about Chaz's obsessive behaviors such as always having to push in all the chairs before he leaves the classroom and when he comes in he has to straighten everyone's pencils on their desk. We all kind of giggled about that because they were saying how nice the desks always looked. :) She gave them all kinds of examples. They just got kind of quiet. The doctor that was supposed to be at the meeting but couldn't make it would've blown them out of the water. 

They put Chaz in 1st grade this year instead of in Kindergarten like I asked. So now that they discovered that Chaz is not ready for 1st grade, he is now being pulled out of his class into another school. This is not good for Chaz. It can be hard on any kid but even more for Chaz right now. When the teacher suggested that we just keep him in first grade but teach him Kindergarten, that's when I put my foot down and said no. I told her I didn't want Chaz in 2nd grade next year. He needs the basics. He needs to start from the beginning NOW. So, after 2 hours of debates, I was wishing I read this practical and legal guidance
for parents who have children with IEP plans. It was a very tough meeting and at times I had to put my foot down to get them to even listen to what I had to say. I won't go into everything but after the meeting was over I had a headache and was ready for bed.

I don't have a lot of choices here. This was my only choice in the district. The good thing is that Chaz will be learning phonics and the kids that come out of this class, learn a heck of a lot and that's what matters. Please pray that I am making right decisions because right now is the beginning of the rest of Chaz's life. My little boy's future. That's why I feel so much pressure. However, I feel so weary of it all but I can't hide from it. I think Chaz is very intelligent and just needs a teacher who can help him get his feet off the ground. He just needs the basics and I know Chaz can fly. He may be starting late, but once he stretches out his wings, I know he'll take off and surprise us all.

Chaz's School

Sorry, it's been awhile since I last posted. It's been so busy around here with appointments and such. I've been a little frustrated because Chaz's school called me the other day and told me Chaz isn't doing well in school and they tested him to see if he's ready for first grade and he's not. I said, "Yea, that's why I asked you to have him repeat Kindergarten." They told me that there must've been a miscommunication between the doctors and the special education leaders because the class that Chaz needs is not at that school. He needs the Kindergarten version (which is what I told them), yet they put him in a special education class with 1st, 2nd, and 3rd graders all together. No wonder why he's so lost and struggling in his class. I knew something was up when he was bringing home 1st grade homework. That's when I called the school and wanted to know what was going on. If he's on an IEP plan then they would do work at his level. So, now I have a meeting at the new school he will be attending on Friday. This time I told them when I wanted to meet so that I could go without my children. I want there to be clear communication with no distractions. I was a little disappointed that they made that mistake because Chaz cannot handle change very well. This will be his 5th school because of everything he's gone through. He's only 6 years old. The sad thing is that when my house is finally done, we will be permanently moving and putting him in the school where he will stay. That will be another change for him to get used to. It most likely will be a private school that specifically works with Aspergers. Anyhow, please keep us in your prayers. I need to find answers for Chaz and I am currently trying to find a good support group so I can glean ideas from others. I hope you have a great Monday! :)

Chaz's Update

I was excited about Chaz's new school that has a high ranking. His principal was even my principal when I was younger. He's such a good man. Well, since Chaz has Asperger's syndrome, ADHD, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, he is in a special needs class. Well, I've had Chaz off of meds over the summer because I wanted to just start with a clean plate. I wanted to see if he didn't have to have meds and that the school could help him without it. After watching him for some time, it is becoming quite clear that he does need help with something. For the ADHD I give Chaz coffee because his doctor told me that it has the same stimulant that Ritillin has in it. So, I give him a cup of coffee in the morning. That does help. As for the Aspergers, that cannot be cured but there is medicines that help treat the symptoms. Chaz is in a great class with only 15 students and several assistants. He is still struggling greatly and can't slow down enough to even do his work. I was a little disappointed when they told me Chaz would be in 1st grade. I told them I wanted him to repeat Kindergarten. He went through his whole Kindergarten year learning nothing last year because we did not know of his diagnoses. They told me that in special needs classes, they go by age group and that since he is on the IEP plan, they would teach him at the level he needs. But the other day he brought work home and I was surprised to see that it was 1st grade level. I was worried because Chaz hasn't even learned the basics. Such as the sounds of the alphabet. I'm baffled at that and so I will be calling a meeting with the school. In cases like this, you don't just have a teacher working with you, you have about 5 or 6. This includes the Psychologist, social worker, teacher, special education leader, etc. It's a team effort. I always hope to find an actual Aspergers Support Group in my area but it's hard to find. I found one in Utah but that's out of state for me. Anyhow, so that is Chaz's update on how he is doing. He's my little pumpkin and I hope to help him do better. I feel a lot of pressure on my shoulders because the longer I wait, the more behind he falls. Don't get me wrong, I'm not behind, it's just getting him exactly what he needs is something I constantly have to pursue and the younger the better. :)