Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Dear God, I pray for this beautiful, amazing boy that you designed and made. I pray for healing in his heart and his mind. I pray that any hurt that is tormenting him will be dealt with, processed, and healed. I pray that he will learn self control when he feels like there is no hope and throws all caution to the wind. Help me to show him the love that he so much deserves. You love Him so much and you made a way for him to get out of the abuse. He now needs healing. Thank you so much for trusting him in my care. I need you and I need strength. Amen.
Friday, July 22, 2016
My sweet, amazing, almost 16 year old son Chaz walked in the dark room and asked, "Mom, have you prayed lately?" I replied, "No." I wasn't in the mood and I certainly didn't feel it mattered at the moment. Of course it does but it was just the mood I was in. He asked if we could pray together. I hesitantly got up as the pressure in my head was thick. My thoughts were foggy. We sat in his room and he started to pray with me. When he was done he asked me to pray. I prayed while I fought to hold back my tears. I didn't pray that God would take away my pain. I began to pray against spirits causing division and strife. Against confusion and contention. I prayed that if there are any curses being prayed over us that it would be sent back to hell where it belongs. I was taught growing up that you pray that a curse be sent back on the one who sent it. That's biblically incorrect. The bible says to bless our enemies and pray for those that curse you. I prayed that God's peace would reach every corner of the house. At that moment I felt like hands came off my head and it physically felt like pressure was draining out and off my body. Hard to explain. It was instant. I sat there in shock. All those days of pain, fogginess, and shaking instantly left. All I had to do was ask my Father to intervene. The room got quiet. I didn't even know what to say because I had never so quickly seen a prayer answered in an instant and feel like something released it's choke hold.
I sat with my teen boys and we hugged and talked. We talked about our failures that week, what we learned from them. We talked about things we felt we succeeded and and what we were grateful for. The peace in the house was so noticeable that when my husband came home from work he said he felt it.
The bible says,
"For we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in the this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12
A few years back, as I said earlier, I was taught to send curses back on people. Sometimes people mean well when they pray to God asking that He "shake up the nest" and cause difficult things to happen so someone will turn to Christ. I didn't realize that if I'm not careful, I was praying curses on people. I was praying to God but I was praying the wrong way. This is why when I prayed that any curse prayed would be sent back to hell where it belongs. Not sent back on the head of the one who sent it.
Here is an article link about why returning curses is biblically forbidden. Click here.
"Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you." Luke 6:28
Nowhere in scripture does it say to curse back or even send it back on the head of the one who sent it.
Friday, March 18, 2016
My foster daughter had an emotional day yesterday seeing her mom. She usually has visits twice a week but since the parent aid had to miss two visits from being sick, it made her worry she won't be able to see her again. When she came back home yesterday the parent aid asked me why she was so emotional I told her that's what happens when their visits aren't consistent. I'm a baby, new foster mom since October. This whole process is so new and I always hope I'm handling issues the right way. There has been a lot of adjustments along the way since I got her. She is afraid of showers, extremely picky eater to the point where she won't want to eat at times. When I ask what she does want to eat she always says a donut. Ha ha. I tell her we always try to eat healthy and desserts are just for fun. They ware never for main course. I always cook with meat and vegetables and only sometimes some whole wheat pasta of some sort. Her night terrors have almost completely stopped. That's amazing since she used to have them nightly. She had them with her mom every night even when living with her. I'm grateful for her sake she's getting much more rest now. :) Something new for her is chores. It's real simple chores for her age since she's 7 but she does them well. At first she would cry but we made sure it started easy and built on little by little. In reality, it's only make bed, put away toys in room, and put away shoes. Another one we're working through is school. There are times I've had to carry her in and then have a teacher take her into the classroom. I would have to dress her because she hated going so much she fought it with everything in her. She used to not even dressing herself or going potty in bathroom alone. Now she's doing all of that! So there is lots and lots of growth.
One of the things I'm getting used to is all of the extra appointments since they need to be in therapy. Hopefully we'll be able to get a little boy soon. The max kids I can take is 2 foster kids. That's fine because that makes 10 kids here and it's about all I can keep up with. Haha. Our laundry pile is massive. My dream is to one day have at least one more washer and dryer but I'm happy I at least have a set for now. :)
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Our foster daughter has never been to Disneyland so we are trying hard to make that happen for her. It's just gonna cost a ton to bring a large family there for the two day ticket price. $1,902 to be exact. That's JUST the entrance fee. Wouldn't it just be so amazing to bring in kids and bless them with some adventures, hugs, and fun? Yay! A lot of time they go through some pretty rough stuff, traumatizing stuff. I've known some that were trapped in their home and can't even go outside. I had one foster son where his dream was to see the ocean. He was moved to a group home before we could take him. For now, we can't wait to show the beach and Disneyland to our foster daughter. But, ohhhh, the cost of traveling, hotel, and tickets are a bunch. We're gonna give it our very best shot and if save like mad.
MY HEART FEELS SO BLESSED!
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
I DID see War Room three times and I needed the encouragement so badly. I went through some struggles this last year and it spiritually and mentally had a toll on me. I need to start this year out right and it's gonna be done the best way I know how. A time of focus on prayer and learning.
Monday, January 11, 2016
Also, this last year we had some HUGE unexpected changes. Back in July we rescued a friend from a bad situation. She had three children as well. While at the shelter, DCS decided it was best to remove the kids and place them in foster homes. I cried and cried as I felt responsible being I removed them from their home. However, they were living in a bad situation with abuse so it wasn't a bad decision at all. I saw the kids were very much out of their mother's control and running all over her. She wasn't used to taking care of the kids without the father around. Also, they were used to being managed with an iron fist. Take that away and the kids just went wild. I agreed with DCS to take the oldest son but not the other two. I didn't think I could manage the small girl's behavior from what I saw. Well, it's been 3 months and I found out two months ago that the girl was doing AMAZING in foster care and was very calm and happy. I became friends with the foster mom and we started to share days with her. (I named them Michael and Grace since I can't say real names.) I started have a feeling in my gut that something was going on and we HAD to take grace. You would never believe it. I called the DCS worker and told her we changed our mind and are willing to take in Grace. The worker told me that if I hadn't of called that day, she was about to be taken to a relatives house. A relative of the abuser and this person does NOT have a good relationship with Grace. So, even though Grace was in an amazing foster home, family has preference and she would have transferred. Because I have her sibling, I get top preference. Well, she was placed in my home yesterday permanently until mommy gets them back. :D That was totally God putting her on my heart and brother is relieved.
On top of all this, I had a baby! Ha ha. I forget that physically and mentally 2015 was a humongous adjustment. I didn't gain one kids last year, I gained three! On top of that, people moving in and out of our house. I'm starting this year off with prayer and fasting because I'm believing for it to be an amazing, peaceful year.
Saturday, November 28, 2015
It's been a bit of a transition for me into the fostering world. Sometimes it's hard to retrain kids that aren't used to things being done the way we do. The little girl we have absolutely flipped out when I asked her to help clean up with the girls. I went to her brother and asked if she ever had to help. He said no and that they had to do everything for her. Luckily, she's young and there is plenty of time to fix that. It'd be harder to retrain a kid with good habits in their teens. Luckily, our teen foster son has really good work ethics. He had to shoulder a big load before but we don't do that. Here we have balance and everyone has to contribute down to 3 years old. That way we don't have someone or just older kids bearing most the load. Also, another thing we're adjusting is teaching her to get things for herself rather than relying on big brother to always rescue her to get menial stuff. These are not big, big issues and little ones are easy to refocus in a different direction.
I have so many things coming up like house inspection on December 9th. Eek! Also, we're right in the middle of foster care classes and although it's a lot of paperwork to study and fill out, we're one of the lucky few who can do it right from our home rather than be gone for hours every Saturday. Yay!
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
|Ryan was a blind referee|
Monday, October 12, 2015
Please pray that we can successfully get our foster care license. I don't know if it'll be easier because we already have a foster placement in our home and already went through background checks and home inspection. All that was passed. I guess I'll see because this is all new to me. I'm going to try and take the crash course in order for the process to go faster getting my license. :)
Friday, October 02, 2015
|Kyle's 12th birthday|
Next time a parent asks me if I think my kids need more socialization, I'll just say, "No thanks. Not that kind of socialization."
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Ryan tested into 9th grade rather than into 8th so him and Chaz will be starting high school together. I got them into a school district but they do their work at home. They have their own teacher so it takes the load off of me a bit. I asked them if they wanted to attend a high school together. The only catch is I would not allow them to go to a regular 4 year high school but one that goes down all the way to Kindergarten. It's a charter school and they'd be with their siblings. They both said no, they'd rather stay home. So it is what it is. :) Four kids at home and four kids in a charter school. The only one that does not want to be there is Kyle. He got bullied on his first day and every day since. Thankfully, they're completely against bullying and once he brought it to their attention they caught the boy and got him to stop. Hopefully he's done bullying my son for good. We'll see. Many times I've always believed that bullying is learned behavior. The sad thing is I'm hoping it's not because the bully is being bullied at home or anywhere else. :( Maybe Kyle and I should pray together for him. He said the kids in the class are extremely disrespectful and swear all the time. Just because he doesn't do those things, it's made Kyle more noticeable. Now they're coming after Kyle because he's different. I told Kyle to stand strong. It's a GREAT thing to be different and it's even more awesome that it's because he's respectful and does his work! :D
Sunday, August 30, 2015
I already have my whole week planned! I have to schedule appointments for the heart doctor and skin doctor for myself. My doctor was a bit concerned. My son Chaz has to have a blood test to make sure he's okay. Jaxon might be getting a helmet for his head in two months. He'll wear it till he's 18 months old. So basically for a year. Juliet, like I said, needs potty training and some focus on her behavior. Right now she's got so many siblings catering to her. Argh. That's the problem when you have a naughty 3 year old that is just so cute they get away with things. I have some major projects I need to do in the house, like turning my garage into a playroom. It's gonna be a huge job. I have huuuuge plans for this school year and need the extra time.
My life just has exploded with busyness and I need to get a grip on it. I'm absolutely in love with my family. Wow, as hard as I work for my husband and eight kids, I wouldn't trade them for anything!! Just need a change in the routine. I even have their new curriculum sitting on top of the armoir right now but I sending it back on Tuesday. I'm hoping I have lots more time for blogging as well. My kids actually went to bed early in anticipation for school tomorrow. We'll see how long that lasts. Haha.
Anyhow, I have to include an amazing video of my kids and their friends at camp with our church this past summer. Amazing! It is neat seeing them in the video. I absolutely with all my heart love the people at my church. Wow... :D
Sunday, June 21, 2015
I NEED HELP TODAY AND THE NEXT FEW DAYS TO ACT LIKE A CHRISTIAN.
Lord, help me to pray for them and not just be angry. Being angry of the constant pain moms like these cause doesn't help anything. Prayer does.
I will pray...
"Jesus, I pray for this awesome, beautiful, amazing family. I pray you will protect them and keep them safe from anyone that would try to hurt them by coming in between them with a purpose to separate. I pray you'll protect their hearts and give them joy and peace. I pray against any curses spoken against their marriage. You created marriage, I know you can began to work a healing. Please hold this marriage safely in your hands. Amen."
Thursday, June 18, 2015
As a mom, how do I be okay with watching my little ones just grow up and move away. I sit here at 1am, looking at photos of acquaintances and their kids, realizing that I only blinked and they're grown. Why does time have to go so fast? Why? Can't we hold onto time just a little longer? In 2 months I'll have a 14 and 15 year old. Did I do enough? Did I show them the love of Christ through me? Do they really know I'd give my life for them if I had to? Not just in serving my family but in every way. How do I let go? Now I understand that look on my mom's face the day I moved out of her house into my little apartment. Her baby was leaving...
|Chaz (6) at school|
|A bored Chaz (14) sitting through a lecture at a school|
|Kyle (3), Ryan (5), Chaz (6) being silly|
|Ryan (13) saying hi through our cameras while daddy was away on business trip|
Monday, June 15, 2015
"You will keep in perfect peace ALL who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on you." Isaiah 26:3-4
"The Lord gives His people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace." Psalms 29:11
No, it's not a sign of true Christianity when you're constantly tormented or vice versa. It's okay that Christians go through trials and it will happen. However, it's also very possible for God to give peace even through these trials. Me having peace doesn't mean I'm unsaved.
Yesterday in service I was watching my son in the front raising his hands in worship, next to his best friend who was also lifting his hands in praise. I was in awe. So in awe of the changes I have seen in these boys. Seeing my other son serve in sound ministry and with a joyful heart. Wow! At their age, I was more worried about when service was going to be over and what we were going to have for lunch. It's almost been 2 years since we attended our new church and the investment they have put into my kids has dramatically made a difference. That's not how I was at 13 and 14. Sometimes I have to shake my head to see if I'm dreaming. Did God really take me out of deep depression and give me this new life just a year and 9 months ago? How did I deserve this? Even when I was shaking my fist at God and asking why. More like shouting. He never left me. Even through the heartache and abandonment by my friends, I shouted and I cried, but He never left me. He was always there. I didn't know because I put man's opinion and rules above His. He never meant for His people to carry such a heavy burden of works.
"For My yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." Matthew 11:30
Yet, as much as I felt burdened by other people's heavy standards, I have no hatred, no bitterness, but a sadness. I've been there. I've carried the burden of works and had no peace. I had none because every night I would question whether or not I did enough to make God pleased with me. I constantly testified about what God was doing in my life and how He's given me joy and peace. Every bit of it was a lie. I knew what to say but never truly felt what I claimed. I felt like a liar every time I said it.
When I realized a whole section of the bible, tons and tons of scriptures that I once had been blind to, was about how we can't earn our way into heaven. Not before OR AFTER salvation, I felt like that guy in the movie "Pilgrims Progress". The part where he's standing at the cross and the humongous burden on his back falls off and rolls away. I thought that part was just for sinners. No, it was for me. That heavy burden was of works. Does my back still sometimes feel sore from carrying that burden for 34 years? Yes, it does. But when I remember His promises, that we are saved by grace, not by works, I straighten my back and keep on going. I can never, ever, ever let anyone take His gift of peace from me. He doesn't give a select church group peace. He gives ALL his people peace.
"God saved you by His grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it." Ephesians 2:8-9
"So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to Him, the power of the life giving spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin's control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be FULLY satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the spirit." Romans 8:1-4
"You foolish Galatians, who has bewitched you, before who eyes Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified? This is the only thing I want to find out from you: did you receive the Spirit by the works of the Law, or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having BEGUN by the spirit, are you now being PERFECTED BY THE FLESH? Did you suffer so many things in vain, if indeed it was in vain? So then, does He who provides you with the Spirit and works miracles among you, do it by the works of the law or by hearing with faith? Even so Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness." Galatians 3: 1-6
Thank you for Your peace, Jesus.
Tuesday, June 09, 2015
Okay, sometimes there are days where Juliet puts me in complete survival mode. I feel as if I'm literally just surviving the day. It's gotten that hard. It's like she took the confidence I had in how I raised all the other kids and shred it to pieces. Yet, she can be incredibly cute. Do you know what that means? It means she wars with our heart. Haha. One moment you want to scream and the next moment you want to cuddle her. I would cuddle her AND scream but that might look scary. I've tried gates yet she figured them out. I have one gate left she can't figure out that keeps her in the big living room area. She has closely been watching people open and shut it. She's currently working on it. I keep lots of toys and fun stuff in there yet she's not happy with only having a living room to rule. Have mercy!!!!
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
|Cuddling Jaxon after he had his circumcision|
|Jaxon (2 1/2 weeks old)|
|Juliet (turning 3 this week) and daddy|
Thank you, Jesus, for each little phase of childhood. Each one is truly a blessing as it changes and challenges us in different ways.
Monday, May 04, 2015
Anyway, what is wrong with me? I don't blog as often. I know I'm a mom of eight (whoa) but still.... I love to blog! I still don't feel like I have 8 kids. When I'm around them it feels like a small group of kids. I JUST had Jaxon and my oldest son is asking me to have more. He's worried I'll run out of time and get too old. Funny! I'm only ummm.... (seriously can't remember how old I am. Hold on.) I'm only gonna be 36 this June! Okay, if I was gonna be 37 in June I would have freaked. Phew. WOW, I really am running out of time.... Sigh. Why does time have to go so fast? Why do we have to age so fast? There is sooooo much living to do but the childbearing years are so short. :( Thank you, God, for my 8 babies and the one You have in Heaven. Thank you for alllllll your blessings.
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
I can't believe my youngest two kids will be 3 years apart! Now I'll know what it's like to have kids 1, 2, and 3 years apart. I had my first three kids within 3 years. They are now all best buddies. IT still worked out with my kids that are 2 years apart. What will it be like with a 3 year gap? This should be interesting and Juliet SHOULD be potty trained. Everything has to be her idea. She really wanted panties and potty training toilet. She was soooo happy when I presented it to her till a couple days later when I suggested she try to potty on it. The look on her face when she realized this was something that wasn't her idea anymore. So now she pulls up panties over her diaper and tries to act big walking around in them. Cheater pants!!! I've been changing diapers for so many years I've learned when they are ready they are ready. I think when Jaxon gets here, I'll focus on it a bit more. Right now I have my ONE baby in diapers and it makes me happy. :D
Today we got locked out of our house and had to break the chain lock to get in. Two of our kids had their leadership class, chain locked the front door, then ran out through the garage while it was closing. Well, we don't use our garage for the van so didn't have the opener with us. So now I'm in panic that Juliet is going to escape midday right out the front door. EVEN though we have it locked with a child proof handle. I'd better replace that chain lock asap. No joke. Houdini's copy cat lives here.
Sunday, April 12, 2015
I didn't want my last weeks with Jaxon to be a nightmare. I look forward to every day but I embrace each day. I've learned to enjoy living in the moment rather than thinking fun is around the next corner. I felt serious guilt wanting Jaxon to come out and I felt robbed of my last pleasant weeks with him in my womb. This is been such an amazingly, joyful pregnancy. When a mom is that sick, taking care of kids is extremely difficult. Charles ended up taking off work to care for them. I'm so excited to have my life back, my babies back and I don't complain anymore about how many times I have to potty being pregnant. Not being able to potty for 2 days at a time was extremely scary. Not to mention being only able to eat one meal a day.
Here's to an amazing 12 days before Jaxon is here! I may lose sleep again once he comes but at least it'll be for a sweet, little one. Not some dumb sickness. :D
Sunday, April 05, 2015
So I was talking with my family about a good day to be born on. I told them as long as it's not on a prime number day or an odd number. My exception would be the 25th as far as being an odd number (clearly not a prime number). Did I ever tell you I have a thing with numbers? I don't want to end up with an odd number of kids. This complicates things for me because I think eight kids is a great and fun amount. However, I don't feel done. So, if I have another one, I'm just gonna have to make it 10 so we don't land on nine! Who knows though because no matter what, God is in control. At least 9 is not a prime number. Ha! (Such a nerd). By the way, 16 is my favorite number. :D No, I'm not gonna have 16 kids! Ha ha!
|With one of my favorite guys that help sick kids. Ronald McDonald!|
|Macaroni for 60! Eek!|
Anyway, my back is burning sitting down to type this. Hi to all my blogger friends!!!
Friday, March 27, 2015
The first day we go there we wanted to check out the Santa Monica Beach. That is definitely a fun beach if you are okay with the crowds. It wasn't too bad being it was such a popular beach. Maybe the summer would be worse? On the pier there are so many options of fun. You pick from tons of restaurants, my husband's fave was Bubba Gump Shrimp. There are rides. Being that the next day we were gonna hit up Knott's Berry Farm, we decided to just go on the ferris wheel and check out the sun setting on the ocean. Was gorgeous!!! That is definitely a very FUN beach!
|Kyle and Ryan|
Our third day we went to Seal Beach. It was so neat seeing the military ships way off in the distance. That's partly why I wanted to go. I think every time we go to a beach, we like to try a different one. This was new! The kids were able to see seals, starfish, and other fun sea stuff. The day was warm and this time we weren't freezing with sweaters! I was so worried we'd get a foggy or rainy day. It's hard to plan in advance because you never know how the weather is gonna be. It was great! It was an amazing day and we didn't plan anything else as we just wanted it to be all about our time together at the beach. Sigh. It was great!!!
|Ryan (13) holding dead stingray|