Fun at the Beach and Knott's Berry Farm 2015!

What an amazing, fun time we had in California!  We took my family and some of our best friends came along with us in our 15 passenger van.  We stayed in the Knott's Berry Farm hotel with connecting rooms for four days. 

The first day we go there we wanted to check out the Santa Monica Beach.  That is definitely a fun beach if you are okay with the crowds.  It wasn't too bad being it was such a popular beach.  Maybe the summer would be worse?  On the pier there are so many options of fun.  You pick from tons of restaurants, my husband's fave was Bubba Gump Shrimp.  There are rides.  Being that the next day we were gonna hit up Knott's Berry Farm, we decided to just go on the ferris wheel and check out the sun setting on the ocean.  Was gorgeous!!!  That is definitely a very FUN beach!

Kyle and Ryan

 

Kyle (11)

 

Chaz (14)



Caleb (5)

We had saved up and prepaid for almost all our vacation before we got there.  The hotel and the tickets to Knott's Berry Farm included.  Another option we had when purchasing tickets was add meal bands and souvenir cups.  I was a tad worried buying the meal bands in advance.  What if it wasn't worth it?  Meal bands are $34 each and give you access to 6 restaurants in the amusement park.  Each ones has meals you can pick from AND you can eat every hour and a half!  One meal at Knott's Berry Farm can be anywhere from $10-15 so that band is definitely worth it.  In fact, we only got it for the kids that were gonna run around the park riding rides without us.  The ones that were with us, we only got the band for every other kid. The meals were so big it was easy to share.  Best money spent for food ever. The cups were worth it as well as you get free refills allllll day for that one day.  We refilled a lot and they even make it to where you can hang the cups from a stroller.  I didn't need to even use the cup holders.  Being I was 35 weeks pregnant with baby Jaxon, I could ride any of the rides.  The older kids ran everywhere while Charles and I stayed in the Snoopy area with the younger ones.  I had no idea they would make it so fun and have so many options of neat things to ride.  Even our 2 year old Juliet was able to do a lot!  Yep, my suspicions are confirmed.  My wild 2 year old isn't afraid of anything and would ride anything that was allowed for her.  She laughed her head off on every ride. We waited till we could get discounts so it was $305 for my family of 9 for the day.  Way cheaper than our last visit to Disneyland and faster, shorter lines. 

 



 



Our third day we went to Seal Beach.  It was so neat seeing the military ships way off in the distance.  That's partly why I wanted to go.  I think every time we go to a beach, we like to try a different one.  This was new!  The kids were able to see seals, starfish, and other fun sea stuff.  The day was warm and this time we weren't freezing with sweaters!  I was so worried we'd get a foggy or rainy day.  It's hard to plan in advance because you never know how the weather is gonna be.  It was great!  It was an amazing day and we didn't plan anything else as we just wanted it to be all about our time together at the beach.  Sigh.  It was great!!!

Ivy (9)

Ryan (13) holding dead stingray





See full album HERE!!!

Spiritual Heart Surgery- A Lesson on Hospitality

I miss my blog. It's where I went to put things in perspective for myself.  A lot of times I held back because of my blogger spies that frequently let me know they are watching me and making sure I don't say anything I shouldn't.  It got me in trouble before with people but I just don't care anymore. I have definitely changed my direction in life in this past year and it's been such an incredible change.  A very good change.  How could I not shout it from the rooftops what Jesus has been doing in my life?  It may not be the path they wanted but the only path I'm interested in walking God's.  Not man's.

Another reason I hadn't been blogging was because I had an extra family living with me and I had zero time.  There is no exaggeration there.  I would run nonstop from wake up till I fell in my bed.  I've been able to get my kids on a schedule since 2009 so it's not as hard.  They knew what to expect from day to day.  It's a whole different story taking in kids that aren't used to it.  I wasn't able to train my kids overnight so it wasn't easy to try to get it going with the new kids.  I felt like I was finally gaining some ground after they had been here for 4 months but by then they were gone.

You know how each mom is different?  There is a saying, "There is no perfect way to parent but a million ways to be a really good one."  I've finally learned a couple years ago that moms have to stop pushing their way onto each other.  Respect each other for our differences.  My friend and I wildly, wildly parented our kids differently.  Down to how we discipline our kids, bedtimes, habits, eating, cleaning, homeschool, etc.  Does it make her bad or me bad?  No.  It just means we had different ideas on how to raise our kids.  But being that we have our own habits and routines, it made the differences in the home tiring at times for her and I.  Often at night, I would just collapse in my bed completely exhausted.

 



I don't care how good of friends I am with anyone, living with someone is not easy.  Add kids to the mix and it's not easy.  Two moms in the house?  Just ask some polygamists.  They often have to work through the same issues.  Daily.  I only had to do it for four months.  By the time she moved out she was relieved and her kids were relieved.  We were relieved and my kids were.  I slept well for the first time in months.  It's just hard like that.  My house was quiet and stayed much, much cleaner.  She doesn't have to deal with Juliet and her getting into everything.  So we both appreciate things we otherwise might have taken for granted!  I greatly took for granted how hard I have worked on my kids on their routines and homeschool.  Having our days go back to what it was four months ago makes me really proud of all the years of hard work and training.  I've just been so encouraged by the entire experience.

Sometimes when we allow God to do a work through us, even if it's hard, in the end it was a huge lesson to be learned.  If we're not careful of our attitudes in the process and after, we'll lose the lesson that was meant to teach us and bless us.  Especially where there can be growth in our own hearts!!!  I had a terrible time with hospitality.  I've lost a ton of friends (maybe not real friends?) by switching churches.  That hurt and because of it I grew very withdrawn.  I wanted to just be with my family and not reach out anymore. A week before this family moved in I asked God to help me with hospitality.  Coincidence?  I don't know.  Maybe.  But I took it.  Was it for money?  No.  They paid rent but we still went in the negative from the extra supplies used, water, electricity, etc.  You know why I didn't mind?  Because it wasn't about the money.  I knew it was a work on my heart and I badly needed it.  It's almost as if my heart went into a major surgery that was badly needed.  It pushed me to my limits and taught me patience I thought I already had. I'm sure it did the same for my roommates!  The fact that a friendship can survive through such differences and never getting a break from each other is a wow factor for sure.  :D 

Maybe in the future I should stop running from tests just because I'm afraid it'll be hard work. I'm glad I didn't run from this one. It was hard but worth the journey. 

Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.
-Romans 12:9

Learning to Solve Sibling/Friend Rivalry

Boy, I don't think the timing could have been better to have a family with 3 kids move in suddenly. I'm learning to stretch my limits and I have to admit, just a week prior to them moving in I had asked God to help me learn hospitality.  Coincidence?  Our costs have definitely soared with extra people in the house (water, electricity) but I'm content.  My only weakness (maybe a strength?) is no matter who's kids are over, I always treat them as my own.  I mean, completely as my own.  I'll hug, tell them I love them, involve them in daily chores, talk to them, spend time with them, think about them, pray for them...just as my own.  It's hard for me to realize that, ummmm, the parents are living here as well and might find it offensive for me to correct their kid when they could have.  I need to explain better, it's never okay to go to someone's house and boss their kids around in my opinion.  I guess maybe it's different because the kids are living, eating, and sleeping in the same room as my kids. It's such a fine line and I'm always worried I'm crossing it.  I do love these 3 kids as my own and tell them often.  Ack.  If I do cross the line, it's never because I'm against the kids, just that I love them as my own and treat them as such.  Things like "no koolaid in the rooms, you need to finish your chores, pick up your mess, bed is by 8pm, etc." Things I would say to my kids.

I think the hardest thing sometimes would be the arguments.  If I'm not careful, I can get pulled into he said/she said type stuff all throughout the day.  Usually my rule is no tattling unless someone is being hurt or is being a pervert.  Sometimes I'll think someone is being outrageously bad, get all over their case, but then once I hear the other side of the story I feel bad because I didn't hear the other side first.  And sometimes, the stories are so wildly different I have to just walk away and tell them to just separate. I'm learning really quick to choose my battles very carefully.  If I don't, I'll be settling fights all day long. Sometimes I realize the tattling comes from boredom and a need for drama from the kids.  Sometimes it looks like I don't care to the kids but I've learned the worst thing I can do is when a case is brought to me, to look at the accused and rebuke in front of the offended.  Sometimes, and it's completely human of us to do this, kids find satisfaction in seeing another kid punished.  Dr. James Dobson has always suggested to take the accused aside privately and ask their side of the story.  If both sides are wildly different, separate them.  But don't lash out at the accused in from of the other kid.  I love that advice.  However, people that see me acting completely calm in the middle of an argument, it's because I'm listening to both sides and mulling it over in my head.  Once one of the kids goes back and plays, I'll quietly have a talk with the other one whether it's to ask more questions or correct their behavior. Not an easy parenting task, dealing with arguments.  Alas, it must be done.  Ha.

Terrible photo. Cell cam is messing up

Another common argument is who has got the hardest chores.  I try really hard to be fair.  The older the kids, the harder their chore.  Naturally, I'm not gonna give the harder ones to the younger kids.  There will always be someone that thinks they have the hardest.  That's when I look at them and ask if they'd like my chore.  Often I wake up to watching a sermon, get up, get ready, homeschool and do my chores, wash lots of clothes, feed everyone, and by dinner time it's the only other time I get to sit down.  I looooove my job.  I wouldn't trade it for any other in a million years.  But moms have the hardest job for sure.  I never believe in just giving all the work to the kids.  I'm working right alongside them.  If I really feel like a chore is just too much for a kid, usually it's because there is just too much clutter and a lot needs to be tossed.  I did that today in the girls room because my girls just couldn't clean it up everyone day.  There was just too much stuff hidden in all kinds of places. This picture is it.  My girls are so used to not getting attached to stuff, they wanted the room to look just like the picture below.  I wish my whole house was that clutter free!  Their chore is going to be much easier tomorrow. :)  I think if I had to pick a kid, Ryan has the hardest because it's the kitchen.  OH MY GOSH.  That poor kid.  Haha. Lots of cleanup in there.  He's fast though so he's the perfect kid for the job.

My girls have learned to love less stuff because it means less stress

Routines and Babysitting

I've had some extra kids at my house these last couple of weeks.  Sometimes I had 11, this week I only have eight (Ryan is at someone else's house for the week and I have two that aren't mine over).  It's really hard because we are in our homeschooling season and I have to work whether or not the kids that are with me understand we need to study.  Some days though I just had to quit because the house was way too loud.  I know at times I need to put my foot down and not always be the available babysitter because I'm home.  I need to just say no and that's that. 

Updated chore chart for 2014.  Much neater and changed a tad. :)

 I made an exception this week for two girls.  They are in their teens and actually are more helpful than a hindrance.  During homeschool hours they will help with the reading and flashcards with the younger ones.  The hardest thing for me is my routine.  I hate to go out of a routine because it takes me several days to adjust.  They were kindly (and amazingly) asking which chores they could help us with.  I have each zone assigned to members of the family and we get it done so efficiently, we rarely need the help.  I mean, if I call chore time, within 30 minutes the house can be almost perfectly clean. That's years and years of training and consistency.  Not luck.  Oh man, that bugs me when people think it's just luck I have kids that are good at it.  Believe me, we've sweated it out with them for lots of years to train and keep going even when we didn't feel like it.  There were days where we battled and battled for them to do their work but we never, ever gave up.  The only times was when I was having a baby in the hospital, sick, something crazy happened, OR we took a special family day outing.  Those are only rare exceptions.  Otherwise you can find us here doing our bible study, homeschool, then chores, day in and day out except for the weekends.  If I even give an inch when the kids whine about their work, they will take it a mile.  They have to know mama is serious and it has to be done.  Rain or shine.  Except there is no rain here.  Or snow.  Better yet, we homeschool so it doesn't matter.  I never have them do my work for me.  I have my own zones I take care of.  If possible, I do my chores at the same time they do so they can see me doing it when them.  Kids learn by example.  :)

We've been trying to do more family game nights rather than just separating at the end of the day to do our own thing.  Often I don't sit down for time alone till 11 at night but that's okay.  I love my days busy and full.  :D 

Friend Adriana doing flashcards with Ivy

 

 

 

 

 

Update: Since Ivy finally got her new prescription glasses, her reading skills have soared!!  I mean, she's daily trekking through her books.  She may be behind but she's quickly closing in the gap.  Today she was reading a book and doing so bad I got worried.  I realized she forgot to put her glasses on. Once she did, she had no problem reading the book.  Ivy and I laughed and laughed together at the mistake.  She doesn't seem to understand these are all day glasses.  She keeps setting them down around the house and losing them.  Anyway, I can sigh with relief that we solved the problem.

Bowling Sunday With Friends

 

Lately its been so cool because we have been getting Groupons and having more family adventures at a better price. Last Sunday we took our family bowling for more than half the price it would have cost for our family. Man, the month of June has been so fun and it's also been a very long month because of everything we have been doing.

 In one month we have gone ice skating, the teams have gone to a team camp out of town, We went to the lake, Ryan had surgery on his foot (not fun), we went bowling, and we went on family camping with the church.  This week we are having Vacation Bible School and Ryan and I volunteered as one of the leaders. I have been having the worst headaches ever because of the wildness from it but I love it and I'm having a blast. Of course Ryan's surgery wasn't fun but its definitely shaken things up a little bit for us. I am proud of the good attitude Ryan is having still being he has to be in a cast during the fun month. 

 

When some people from church wanted to go bowling together, I was excited to take my family to bowl with them. Sometimes I'm still so amazed at the friends I have gained in the last 10 months. I feel so blessed and sometimes I still can't believe it. This year has definitely been a new year for us and much, much needed spiritually and emotionally. I feel God has definitely led us to where we are and I have seen the evidence of it in my personal walk with God, which has grown significantly, and joy that I have not seen in myself for many years. Seeing the change in children and in my family as a whole. The fruits is what I'm looking at.

Anyway, here are some fun pics!! 

Once Step Closer to Moving Forward- Leaving the Bullies in the Past

My boys recently went on a church teen cabin trip out of town.  I insisted they go so they can get last year's horrible camping trip out of their memory.  

Worst Camping Trip Ever

The one they went to last time was unbelievable. Basically they came home with broken spirits.  They went from loving camping to hating it and not wanting to ever go again.  Bullies were running rampant and nothing was done about it.  I'll never forget their faces when they came back home. Literally, you could feel the sadness in my boys for an entire month after that trip.  It was like a heavy depression was in the house.  My boys shared with me they felt unprotected, hurt, taken advantage of.  Worst of all, they felt the leaders protected the bullies.  Right then and there I said never again.  As long as it is in my ability as a parent, I will never allow bullies to get away with hurting others around me.  I told my boys I would never make them go back any situation like that again.  And they haven't.  

Teen praying before they head to camp

This time, I had found a new Christian camping trip.  I had gotten to know the leaders and these teens for about 9 months.  I was pretty confident in watching them that all the kids had respect for one another and there really was NO bullying allowed.  I was so grateful the leaders made sure it was a peaceful environment for everyone.  When a summer camp for 5 days was announced I knew it was my opportunity to give my boys a newer, better memory.  Even still, I was a bit afraid something bad would happen with other kids hurting my boys again.  I'm not the over protective type and it took me a really long time to finally see what my kids were going through.  I felt ashamed I had allowed them to get hurt for so long.

You can barely see Chaz and Ryan but they're there.  LOL

Today my boys came back encouraged, excited, made new friends, and came back even more closer to the teens they went with!  Praise God!  They had a church service every day and talked about how close they feel to God and what they learned.  Ryan came back on crutches but smiling and happy.  Chaz is burnt like crazy even after the leaders kept lathering him with high SPF lotion.  He is smiling from ear to ear.  Just all good memories and they couldn't wait to tell me about it.  I think this trip was like putting and keeping the past IN the past and moving forward.  

Chaz after his fun in mud pit.  :)

We can never let bullies win.  No matter how popular they are or how popular their parents are. Bullying is bullying and it does break precious spirits.  Every kid and adult is equal in God's eyes and we need to prove it by how we treat others.  Especially as representatives for who we serve.  I know I can't prevent all bullying, that's impossible.  However, I can do whatever is in my ability to stop it when I see it.  Whether it's my kids or someone else's.  No, it's not JUST WHAT KIDS DO.  All kids learn it from others.  Either they are learning it from home or from their peers.  Just because adults bully doesn't make it okay.  

Teen leader show how to jump in the mud pit!  

I really feel like this trip for my boys was like saying we're leaving the past in the past and moving forward to what God is holding for us in the future!  :D  To the ones who brought my boys, thank you so much for being amazing teen leaders.  I can see the difference and impact you are making on the kids around you. 

No Time to Waste- Learning How to Say No

I have been blogging for 8 years!  Wowee!!! 

 Here is a picture of my son Chaz (who is now 13) six months after I started blogging.  Soooo little!  Haha. 

My days have been so filled with homeschool, chores, laundry, dishes, cooking, and playing that I can scarcely think to even sit down and blog.  However, after a few days pass I get this longing to write again.  It's strong!  I've always journaled my life since I was in elementary school.  Always privately in a book but writing is writing.  To me I write this blog just because I love to write.  I don't write for an audience.  I have to say though that in the process of blogging for 8 years I have met some amazing bloggers!!!  I never would of thought I would blog so infrequently just because I have seven kids.  I think the difference is my priorities have changed extremely.  I just have an order to my day that I don't mess with and change for no one.  Well, most of the time.  Lately, I have been having to fight for our school time.  I guarantee you, and I bet a lot of stay at home moms get this, the whole world seems to think I have all this free time because I'm at home.  People think I have it so easy and I can always take on all this extra stuff for every one.  Lately I have been fighting for my kids and family.  School at home absolutely comes first no matter what.  Unless someone is in desperate need and it's a true emergency.  

 

My first Christmas blogging and this is Kyle at 3 years old (2006). We lived in a tiny two bedroom apartment with three kids while our house was getting built.

As of right now I only have three kids that will be done with their homeschool by May.  The other two will not be done on time.  My rule is that you do not move forward in the lesson unless you completely understand it.  I have to say though that the other reason is I've taken off so many days to help other people.  I just can't do it anymore.  My kids' schooling can't suffer in the process.  I use my summers free of homeschooling to do some extreme couponing and organization with my extra time.  Not happening this summer.  We will be schooling completely through the summer with the last two.  I'm gonna give it some serious thought to put my two older boys through Connections Academy online this upcoming school year.  They would have a teacher and online meetings with them.  I need my boys to step it up in the Junior High grades and I think maybe we'll try it out.  We absolutely HATED K12 and their domineering ways so we are a bit gun shy about trying another version.  A few years ago when we were trying out K12, they were encouraging me to drop my kids off at a local YMCA for 4-6 hours to learn with a teacher.  I asked, "You call that homeschool?  You're kidding me, right?"  They talked down to me like I was the idiot.  I can't believe how many homeschool moms were falling for it.  To me it was basically another public school.  I was astonished that they also wanted school to start at 6am.  Yeeeeah right!  Hopefully they changed that. 

 

An old photo of our house (2006) getting built in first year of blogging

I'm starting to learn what night owls all my family is and we are adjusting our schedules.  We used to put our kids to bed at 7:30pm every night.  I have to admit it was heavenly.  It works good when your kids sleep almost 12 hours straight through.  Well, my older ones don't now.  The only ones that do that now are Ashley (6), Caleb (4), and Juliet (almost 2).  They actually put themselves to sleep at that time.  They all just climb right into their beds and pass out.  Gee, I wish it was that easy with my first four kids.  Kids have to be in their rooms by 9pm but I don't expect them to fall asleep.  As long as they are quiet and stay in their rooms.  We all like to wake up around 8:30am.  Late mornings at 9am.  Yay!  Charles says he wishes he could do the same!  Ha.  Poor Charles.  :D  He's always been a night owl as well. 

Little Ivy 2006. I was newly pregnant with Ashley here.  Needing bigger house!

 

My silly three boys with diapers on their head December 2006

Finding Friends Again

I like my blog.  :D

I truly do because I've made it my own and no matter how many phone calls I've gotten, being told how I should write it, and even anonymous hate mail.... I've made it my own. 

Do you know how cool it is to look back on the history of your own blog and recall all the memories you might of otherwise forgotten?  To read about cute things little ones said or see how much has changed.  It's just soooooo neat!  Would it be an accurate blog if I blogged according to people's suggestions or threats?  Nooooo, it would not.  My bloggy blog.  :D I started writing this in March of 2006.  Ivy was almost 1 year old.  My only regret is I didn't start it back in 2000 with my first born son.  Ohhhhh, you would've really seen some drama.  I was a funny first time mama.  It's almost embarrassing. I couldn't change a diaper right if my life depended on it. 



My house is pretty darn clean right now.  I look around and wonder why it still feels a little icky to me.  It dawned on me that it needs a good paint job in just about every room.  The paint has worn off some from all the scrubbing and just general wear.  I'm no longer able to clean off those prints and marks on the wall because it just needs new paint.  Ohhhh, how I loathe painting.  I always pick the wrong color.  I don't know if I've ever picked the right color.  The one color I got right was because my sister suggested it to me.  Hilarious.  I need to hire this talented lady to come and give suggestions for every room. 

I really feel like God has gifted me a new friend that I had seen but almost overlooked because of my busyness.  She was always sitting on the right side of the church, towards the front.  She seemed a bit shy.  I kept looking over at her and wondering why I hadn't went over to say hello.  When I did, I was pleasantly surprised!  She is a good cook and very good mom.  I can't believe I almost missed out on her awesomeness.  I need to get some lessons from her on her awesomeness.  She's not a perfectionist, she's real.  I like real.  When I find a real person that loves God first, family second, everything else last, that's my kind girl!  Lately, I've been bombarded, literally, by people I've been running into that just have brought back that joy in my heart.  People that make me realize that there is still soooooo much good in people and I had just been too busy to see it.  This world can be a very harsh place.  It's good to have good friends. Real friends.  Not the Stepford Wives type.  Heh heh. 

Picking My Priorities: The Delicate Balance of Motherhood

I've been trying extra, extra hard to stay on top of my house work and get ahead before the new homeschool year starts. The hard part is staying balanced and not letting it overtake the time with my kids. I did make a schedule for myself that worked incredibly well a few years back but at times I kicked against it. I know that sounds odd but that's the little kid in me. When I follow the schedule, the house stays looking great. Well, I finally decided to woman up and try it again and the house is looking amazing. Even laundry piles shrinking. Boy, taking care of a big family is a lot of work but soooo worth it. I'm determined to not do any cleaning except for dinner cleanup after 5pm.  Mama has to have her breaks too. Sometimes I'm tempted to work on something but my grandmother (mother of nine) reminds me to not burn myself out. She's so right. I just need to enjoy my evenings. :D

I thought tonight I'd be helping out someone who's daughter got lice from a play center. (Totally keeping this anonymous.)  She called me up and asked for help, offered to pay, hearing that I knew how to get rid of it fast. I said no to the pay and just wanted to pay it forward. Awhile back my kids had gotten lice from other kids and I had poured money into trying to get rid of it. An angel lady just came to my rescue who gets rid of them for a living. She would accept no pay and totally wiped out the problem. Believe me, these places charge a lot. I learned from her and have had some opportunities to pay it forward and help others. What a blessing she was!  Turns out they can't come till tomorrow so I missed my session at the gym with my trainer. Well, Charles took 8 kids with him and I had the house alone for 3 hours. While he was GETTING HIS BUTT KICKED (haha) I didn't even know what to do with all the quiet! We were supposed to train together at the gym but since I wasn't there, he was the focus. Basically he came back and just collapsed in a chair. Haha!  He said, "Baby, she kicked my butt. She's your kind of trainer." I can't wait to get back to the gym for sure. ;)

P.S. If you see all my pics at the bottom of my posts that means I blogged from my phone rather than on computer. Blogger app needs to fix it and make options. ;)

Rare Invites for Large Families

Oh, how I love to blog but I have gotten so used to not being on the Internet that it's hard to get myself to sit down at it. An Internet fast clears the mind and forces you to focus more on other important things. I love to read and learn. I love the Internet because of that very reason. However, I could read forever so I had to take that long break. Now, I'm having a hard time even wanting to sit down at it. ;P

It's no joke the daily care of big families. To me it's like rocket science and the organizing seems so hard. But ohhhh, how I love my job! I wish I was that amazing mama that can do it all but I can't.

Lately I've been focusing on just getting closer to each of my kids. I mean really, really getting to know them.  It's been awesome! I have one kid turning 13 next month and another next year. Chaz having aspergers isn't as far along as Ryan mature wise. In a different twist, it's like my 2nd born is actually entering his teens. He's experiencing temptation, peer pressure even from Christian kids, and has questions about how the body works. Sigh. Can I pleeeease rewind time and have my baby boys back? I keep counting down till they are 18 because I dread it so much!  I am like "Oh no, Chaz will be 18 in five years and one month. Let's go do something fun today with him."  I'm serious. I need to stop worrying and just be grateful all the time I've had. Man, 13 years just flew by. Sigh.

Sigh....

Sigh... Sigh... Sigh...

Sniff...

Moving on. I have met a wonderful person a few months back. God only knows I badly needed it. I needed a Christian mom friend that would be a great influence on my life and my kids. Someone who would challenge and push me along. I found her. Well, she was always there I just hadn't gotten over my shyness to say hi at church. One day I did and thank God!  So grateful! I fell in love with her little family AND their extended family. DO you know how often large families get invited anywhere? Not often. I don't blame why people would be scared. Most envision the worst thinking a bunch of kids are gonna come and break everything. Must clarify here.

Kids are not robots.
In my house they are allowed to express their thoughts. Respectfully.
Kids are a blessing in my eyes.
Even if they are your kids.
I don't expect them to sit down, shut up, and look forward with glassy eyes with no input.
I love the energy and joy them comes from kids. 
Kids can be seen and heard.
Jesus loved all the little children.
So do I.
Now you see why I have seven kids.

If you hate all those things then it'll be hard for you to enjoy having a large family over. Much less any family with kids. Don't get me wrong. I do expect my kids to respect the house. I also expect them to help clean up even if they didn't make the mess. I don't blame you if you are scared from one experience you had having kids over that break everything and yell all over the house. That would eek me a bit too. There is a difference between unruly and active. I just get sad when I see an adult jump on a kid for trying to talk with them.

I said all that to say I am so grateful to be invited to someone's house with my family! Wow!  I'm even more grateful to have met a new friend in a time where it's been hard to trust for me. A broken heart should not rob me of future friends. The same way I feel about people who swear they'll never go to another church because of a bad experience. You can't live like that! 

Thank God for friendship. Especially godly friendship.

I'm No Supermom...Not by a Long Shot

I'm doing some research before I make a final decision about this upcoming school year. Basically, my kids are spoiled.  I think they are spoiled rotten at times.  Deprived you say?  Bwahaha!  My kids have memberships to the huge 3 story science center, a zoo membership, gym membership.  They don't have to wake up at the crack of dawn and they get to leasurely eat breakfast every morning.  While they lazily sip on their morning hot tea, they are either listening to a family bible study by me or watching an educational video.  School comes some time around 10am or maybe starts at 11am.  Depends on when mom's brain wakes up.  That only comes after a good dose of coffee.  They get done in a few hours, maybe only two if they really concentrate, and then they start their chores.  If they are lazy about it they finish in an hour.  When they are really good at it they are done in only a half hour.  Yeah, young ones have dissected and learned the insides of some animals before most kids ever get to.  It's weird having a five year old depressed because her older brother got to dissect a frog before she could.  Yeah, my kids have it amazingly good.  I don't have to worry about late nights at church and having to rush them to bed because of school in the morning.  We have such a good life. 

Do you think my kids would be at my feet thanking me for the good life they have?  Noooooo.... they think schooling takes too long and chores take to long.  They've completely forgotten their days of public school that they hated, hated, hated.  They hated the long days, hunger, and bullying. They hated getting lost in the system because the teacher had moved on before they were ready.  They hated the hurried lunches and the lame 5 minute recess.  Did you know they've cut recess waaaaaay down?  When I was a kid we had a good 20 minutes-30 minutes of recess.  I needed to get all that energy out.  I'm sure my teacher begged the principal to give me Benadryl each day.  Something to knock me out so she could peacefully teach the rest of the class.  A week ago I told them I wasn't sure about another year of homeschooling because they aren't appreciating it.  They all cried and hung on my leg.  Please noooooo!  I took a deep breath.  I thought about it while doing cardio at the gym, I thought about it while lifting weights.  I thought about it while swimming my midnight laps.  I thought about it while showering, eating, and just before dozing off.  I ran into a book that just made my heart leap for joy....

Click here to see on Amazon

Wow!  This is about 15 different families that are all in different situations and all homeschool differently.  I needed a way to keep the attention of my kids and it seems what I'm doing isn't working.  It's just not as exciting for them.  I've been devouring this book and can hardly put it down.  There are those perfect parents who seem like they have it all together and their three year old is learning calculus and then there are the ones.... like me.... that give so much to the kids that I'm just happy to shower that day.  Do you know why I go to workout at the gym after the kids are asleep?  Because that's when I have the time.  When I go it's usually 9:30pm-12:30am.  No, I don't sleep in all day.  Heck, I'm writing this at 2am because it's the only time I've had yet I still have to get up with the early risers.

I woke up to this the other day. Juliet trying to figure out how to get
out of her crib.  Okay, she's 12 months! Help!

I get excited when I find a book that just lifts my spirits when I'm lagging inside.  I don't have a homeschool co-op or a support group.  I wish I could have those cheer leaders on the sidelines but I don't.  I have to just keep my faith in God, relying on His strength, my mind in constant study, and my heart resting in God's grace.  That is the only way I can give sooooooooooo much of myself every day without cracking.  I'm no supermom.  Ha...  By a long shot.  I'm related to some but I'm not one.  I just have to work super hard.

 

Good news!  I'm down 10lbs!!!  Aaaaaagh!  NO CARBS and lots and lots of juicing and vegetables.  White meat more than red meat.  I'm learning to make really yummy food and I can eat LOTS of it!  I will share soon on a great Souperman food I now make. Get it?  It's a soup but man, oh man, is it packed of good stuff.  Superman himself might be knocking on my door soon for the recipe. 

Living in an Unwanted Fish Bowl- Large Families in Public

Today I got a chance to talk to my dad and that doesn't happen often.  So naturally when he calls I run to the phone as fast as I can.  Otherwise I won't talk to him or another 4 or 5 days or so.  He's a hard worker for sure.  I've never in my life seen anyone work as hard as him with little or no complaint.  Today we were talking about personality types and how there are four different types.  He said there is the social extrovert, the demanding (something like that), the analytical, and something else (can't remember).  I asked what I am and he quickly said the social extrovert.  I'm not sure that's me anymore. 







Alllll growing up I loved being social with anyone, any animal, anything that moved.  Ha ha.  I had no problem talking in front of big crowds of people, singing, acting on a stage, or getting to know any person and was very comfortable making new friends.  Then.... my rose colored glasses began to be lifted.  Kids, if handled with care, wear rose colored glasses.  They don't imagine that walking down the street could bring harm or that terrible things can happen.  Everywhere they go is an adventure and they don't have the worries us parents have. 

Somehow over time my rose colored glasses were lifted and I saw life in a harsher light and so I had to wear my shades.  I saw how vicious girls (women) can be as far as judging each other's bodies, homemaking skills, talents, etc.  Instead of accepting each other for differences and seeing the beauty in it, judgements are made. 



Large family mamas fall into a special category because of being put into a fishbowl.  It doesn't matter where we go we have people staring at us, watching our ability to handle our children, and seeing how the kids interact with each other.  I don't blame them because I would do the same.  I love to watch how mamas do it with so many kids.  It's fascinating.  The hard part is hearing the comments.  You don't know whether you're gonna hear harsh words or kind words.  Over the years I've begun to pull myself into a protective shell.  I'm not sure how healthy it's been.  I don't like being watched and this week was particularly hard because I had extra kids.  I went to IKEA with 10 kids and I felt like I was part of a circus I didn't want to be in.  I like to SEE the circus but not be part of the act.  It's easy to want attention when you never get it because you have a couple of kids but I get it every little place I go.  My old friends from the past have no idea how shy I've become.  They are used to loud Jenny who doesn't mind the spotlight.  However, when you are hurt, whether attacked in person, online, through anonymous hate mail, by family, or what used to be good friends, it's easy to slide into a shell like a turtle for protection.  I hate that I've become this person. 

 

I know people say, "Well, you're the one that has a blog.  That's what put you in a fish bowl."  True.  However, I meant it as a journal escape for myself and also a way to document changes in my life.  I just love to write whether I had no followers or 1,000.  I love followers!  Mostly I have amazing followers.  Whether they are stalker followers.  People that visit secretly but never let me know they came.  Admirers that have this vision I'm the perfect homemaker but don't really know me as a person.  Friends that know me in real life and come to visit every now and then.  Haters that come just to have something to fume about.  Then I have the faithful followers, blogging friends I met online years ago that I've enjoyed hearing from and love to also visit their blog.  ;)  I've helped to put myself in a fish bowl because of blogging and I know that.  However, that's not a bother.  Mostly it's just being out in public... in real life. 

I promise you that I never intend to make myself appear as someone different.  I might withhold things to protect myself and my kids and because some things are just no one's business.  I have been accused of pretending to show a perfect side but believe me, I just blog because I love to blog.  I don't blog for applause, or a show.  I blog about what I love and care about.  I blog about our adventures or misadventures.  I don't blog because I need to air out my dirty laundry nor do I look for sympathy or praise.  You know you are a true blogger when you can't imagine going a day without getting things off your mind and onto your blog. I have a secret blog no ones knows about.  Not even my bestest of friends. :) 

I think it's time I ask God for help in opening up my heart again and not being so afraid to be watched.  After all, about 80% of comments I get are positive when in public.  "The kids are respectful, well behaved, act good in a restaurant, and can sit still."  It's those few weirdos that are just angry I have more than 3 kids and have to give the evil eye or say something.  I can't let the small percentage get to me.  I know I say that but I need to practice it.  Having a tough shell without it being a hard shell if you know what I mean.  After all, I'd rather have smile wrinkles than sad ones. 

 



Like it or not, I am in a fish bowl.  "God, can you just paint it a little rose colored... for me?"