Large Family Laundry Catch Up and Annoying Ulcers

Yay... I love playing catch up. Not. However, knowing I can head to the nearest laundrymat and just do 27 loads at once makes it feel better. I brought two helpers and we knocked out those loads and folded in 2 1/2 hours flat. We walked out tired and happy. 

Recently I went to the doctor for severe stomach pain. At first they thought it was the gall bladder but turns out it's ulcers. Gee, I don't know what caused that. The doctor asked what's happened in my life that is causing major stress. Well, relatives I love passing away too early. Sometimes scared something will happen again, that the economy will crash. That my husband's job would be affected again. Another major change in my life that I can't discuss. Just that attending caused such major stress I had to remove myself before breaking down majorly. I have since remedied that but it is still an adjustment. Major. Each week though it's getting better and better. 

My own kids and husband are such a huge comfort. What incredible blessings God has given me. They bring joy to my days and I love, love, love waking up to them every day. Some tell me they don't understand how I could be with my kids 24/7 and love it every day. I don't know, I guess the attitude adjustment I got back when I had my third kid stuck. It wasn't all about me anymore. :D

On a sad note: I miss my uncle Ron. He didn't have to die. Still waiting to hear results from investigation. He's in heaven but my heart hurts for his family and my dad. His funeral was amazing. He left a big impact because of his amazing work ethics, and very good husband and father. Everyone said he was always happy and made everyone happy around him. He wasn't a big time evangelist or serving in a homeless kitchen but he showed Christ's love thru his actions to people around him. Being a person like that doesn't mean it'll make the papers but it matters in those people's lives. Imagine if everyone lived like that. ;) For others and not just for ourselves. It'd be incredible.

Leaving a Legacy-What Others Say About You When You Pass Away

 My Uncle Ron's unexpected passing at 57 really got me thinking.  Since visiting with family and hearing what everyone said about him, I'm even more amazed.  Nobody had anything bad to say. He was an attentive father, loving husband, hard worker, and an equally amazing grandfather.  I love that he put family first and kept all his relationships intact.  Not letting outside forces break each other apart.  Sometimes you have to fight for what you really care about.  Many times, not all the times, but many times it's your blood family that will stick with you whether or not you are super likable.  I tell the kids all the time that although they fight, they are learning how to work through problems that will help them as adults.  It's worth working through.  It's worth learning how to apologize and forgive.  Not to waste these opportunities by holding grudges.  I get sad when I hear that grown siblings are holding onto hurts from childhood.  Seriously, kids are immature and do and say stupid things.  Not worth holding onto. 

Talking to family the other day, they told me how Ron's co-workers could have went home earlier in the day.  When they found out Ron died on the job, they stayed till late that night all sitting together still at work.  They said he was the sunshine of the company.  That he brought joy to the workplace and was always the first one in with a smile.  I love that.  Will my kids remember me as stressed, contentious, and grumpy when days are hard?  Or will they see that even if mommy is having a hard day, she didn't take it out on everyone around her?  I think about things like this every single day.  EVERY DAY.

I loved how Ron had his grandkids over often and welcomed his home to them.  Here they are grown, all done raising kids, and he still loved the busyness of it. That's gotta be a tad tough I would think.  But that kind of unselfishness and patience is an amazing quality.  They traveled together as a whole family unit even though their kids are all raised. 

When someone passes on and they leave this kind of legacy behind them, what a testimony to have.  You won't be remembered just by what you say you believe.  You will be remembered by how you treated others around you and how you lived on a daily basis. 

 

"Lord, please help me to leave this kind of impact on my family and friends as Uncle Ron did.  I want to strive every day to be a leader to my kids and people around me.  Someone who lives it and loves.  Not just talks about what's wrong with the whole world around me.  I can't change the whole world.  I can only have an impact on the world around me so that they can learn and impact the world around them.  Help me to love by accepting people as they are and not what I want them to be. Amen."

When Is Our Time of Death?

Oh man, as faithful as I have been on my Paleo diet I was getting frustrated that I couldn't lose anything passed the 10lb mark.  Ohhhh, so frustrating.  The rest of my family is only half Paleo so I have been having to cook them dinners that I can't eat.  It doesn't bother me because I like being skinnier more than eating a plateful of pasta.  After I cook for them I'll make what I want and then my husband will look at my food and want to eat it.  "I told you I can cook yummy and healthy!" Ha ha.  They never believe me.  Well, I've gone a whole week being 100% faithful to my diet and not losing another single pound.  Finally today I broke that darn 10lb mark. I stopped going to the gym after Ivy got burned.  I was at the gym when it happened.  It's not that I'm blaming anyone it's just that it was such a horrible experience I just lost my taste for going.  That and I have NOT found the time for escaping to the gym.  Having 7 kids is AWESOME and WONDERFUL but I put taking care of them first so if I don't have the time, I just don't have it.

You want to know another reason why I haven't gone back to the community center?  When we first joined a nearby community center, Chaz got hurt on the first day.  This was only two months ago.  Well, Chaz was going down the slide and the lifeguard let another kid start going down right after.  Chaz got kicked in the head and got a mild concussion.  I went and got a lifeguard who is also an EMT.  He was the nicest guy and spent time with Chaz making sure he was okay.  He told me if I ever needed anything just to come and get him.  Well, he recently committed suicide and he was in his early 20's with a 10 month old son.  When we went back to the center, it just didn't feel the same.  I walked into the pool area half expecting to see him there with his kind smile but he wasn't there.  My heart just broke.  I know I need to go back.  Life moves on.  The sun still sets, but it still hurts.  That was someones boy, someones dad, someones grandson.  :(  Life is short and he took it.  The rest of us don't know when it's our time.  It's foolishness to just hope eternity will take care of itself and it's not something we should think about.  If I were to die today, am I ready to meet Jesus?  Will Pershing, a blogger, didn't know this would be his last post. The very next day he died in a crash on his way to lunch with his family after church.  Will was ready to be with Jesus.  

On a lighter note we visited the zoo this past weekend and my mom came with us.  What a treat!  We never, ever get sick of the zoo because it's full of nature and animals.  The kids can run around and we don't have to worry about being quiet! Ivy wanted to wear shorts instead of pants over her swimsuit but I said no because of her burn.  She can't expose her leg to the sun for over year.   She wasn't happy about it but she got over it.  :)

My mom playing with Juliet near the giraffe area.

All of us rode the camel.  I was a little worried about getting on because I was worried my weight would deflate his hump.  Turns out Dale is pretty durable.  Ha ha.

Hi Dale!  You are such a patient Camel.

Juliet is 4 months now!  She is very social and likes to be part of the action.  If I try to put her in the baby swing she only stays happy for about 5 minutes.  She has to be sitting straight up to see what everyone is doing.

The kids checking out an exhibit

The Gift of Memories

Saturday was my dad's birthday.  Do you like the huge candle?  Heh heh.... My dad is awesome.  He's taught me so much.  He's taught me that Christianity is not about rules, about perfection.  It's not about how many doors you knock on or how many services you attend.  He taught me that no matter what you never quit.  No matter what battles you face or obstacles get in your way, you keep going, keep serving God.  My mom and dad have been Christians since before I was born and I'm soooooo very blessed to have their exampleship in my life.

My dad in his dad's arms

For my dad's birthday I think he got the very best gift he could have been given.  A gift of memories from a family friend.  My dad lost his mom to cancer when she was only 22.  My dad was only two years old at the time.  Two years later his dad was shot and killed in the room right next to my dad and he had to see his dad carried out.  My dad was only four years old by the time he lost both of his parents.  I can't imagine what it'd be like to be only FOUR and have that trauma in your life.  No parents.  These are parents that loved him very, very much but were lost to tragedy.  

My dad's parents

Well, for his birthday some friends came over that knew his parents.  In fact, the lady that came not only knew his parents but would babysit my dad and his brother sometimes when his parents were alive.  She remembers so much about his parents and was able to give the gift of memories to my dad.  Everything she could remember about his parents she told him.  So many stories, some funny, some sad, she told him.  Three hours later and my dad and them were still talking about their memories.  My dad learned so much about his parents he still hadn't known.  What a blessing for him.  He also got to play guitar and hang out with another guitarist friend. It was a good day.  :)

Was Motherhood Ever in Bondage? The Evil of Margaret Sanger

I watched a short documentary last night with my family about children being a blessing.  One part talks about Margaret Sanger, the evil that just dripped from her lips.  Whether or not you believe you should trust God with how many He gives you, there is never an excuse to kill a baby in the womb.  Ever.  There ARE other ways to prevent pregnancy without the act of murder that does not involve abortion of any kind (including chemical forms of contraceptives).  

"This is the dawn.  Womanhood shakes off it's bondage.  It asserts it's right to be free"

"The most immoral practice of the day is breeding too many children."

"The most serious evil of our times is that of encouraging the breeding into the world of large families."

"The most merciful thing that a family does to one of its infant members is to kill it."

1.5 million babies are surgically aborted each year

Sadly, as a result of the abortifacient effects of the pill and other "contraceptives," an additional 8-12 million babies are chemically aborted each year in the US alone. 

Click HERE to read The Truth About Birth Control

It breaks my heart to know I was on the pill (even though it was only for a couple of years) and I didn't know I could still get pregnant.  I had no idea the pill would cause my body to reject the baby and get rid of it.  Ack.  I hate thinking about it.  I haven't touched the pill since I found out about it in 2002.  

Newborn Caleb (2009)

Since finding out about the pill I started practicing a loose form of Natural Family Planning, yes, I've had a few "surprises".  So what?  What incredible blessings they have been to my life.  So did NFP work for me?  Yes, because I could easily get pregnant every year since nursing doesn't prevent ovulation.  I calculated it and I'd have at least 12-13 by now.  I only have 6.  Some believe you should trust God with how many children you have, some don't.  I guess that is something each person needs to pray about and come to their own conclusion.  Either way never involves murder though.

My sixth (Caleb)

Ever since I got pregnant with my 6th (in 2008) I have been attacked mercilessly.  Within a week of finding out I was pregnant I had attacks that blew me away.  Online and even in my personal email box.  A friend even spread lies for everyone to see.  They later said they didn't know the details, but just had some "assumptions" about our life.  It still hurt very bad and bad enough that we left out of state for a week to get away from it.  You can imagine how scared I was to share when I became pregnant with my 7th in 2011.  I had miscalculated my ovulation and it had been a year and a half since my last baby.  I was surprised but yet again I had the attitude and understanding that children are a gift.  I was still terrified to share knowing that with each one I had would come with more persecution from every side.  Online and in my personal life and surprisingly even from Christian folk from church.

8 months pregnant with
baby #7 (Juliet)

This whole pregnancy I've received about 80% negative from people. This time I'm putting my foot down.  I'm not gonna allow myself to be bullied any longer.  I'm not gonna allow my heart to be sad nor will I let anyone make me feel ashamed.  Sure, I worry about what people think.  Don't we all?  I have to be stronger is standing up for what is holy and righteous.  Even Christians attacking large families is wrong and completely unbiblical.  I've been cornered (literally) with accusations, assumptions, and anger from people.  This precious child in my womb is a gift from God and I won't allow her to come into this world wrapped in shame and negativity from others.  If you don't want kids, that is your life and no one is forcing you to have any.  Welcome to the land of the free.  Are you able to murder your own babies here?  Yes, and the government and even your friends will back you up.  But don't attack those that choose to cherish life.  Enough with all the Save the Whales and Hug a Tree.  Those are nice but what about Protect Human Life?  I've yet to see a film like that in the theaters.  If it seems I am upset in writing this post, I am.  This world is so backwards in how it thinks and I am tired of seeing what is pure and clean be so attacked.

What If My Husband Doesn't Fit Into My Mold?

This picture made me scratch my head....

Till I read this...

The night before the burial of her husband 2nd Lt. James Cathey of the United States Marine Corps, killed in Iraq, Katherine Cathey refused to leave the casket, asking to sleep next to his body for the last time. The Marines made a bed for her, tucking in the sheets below the flag. Before she fell asleep, she opened her laptop computer and played songs that reminded her of him, and one of the Marines asked if she wanted them to continue standing watch as she slept. "I think it would be kind of nice if you kept doing it" she said. "I think that's what he would have wanted".
-Not sure what is more honorable: Being married to this faithful wife to the end or the Marine standing next to the casket watching over them both.

Gosh, this picture breaks my heart.  I can't imagine what that would be like, the pain... What would it be like thinking that there is another day to say goodbye, another day to say I Love You?  Yet, that next day never came for her.  

******************

One of my favorite pictures of all time

With Valentines coming up I've been thinking a lot about unconditional love.  What is love?  Is love wishing my spouse would change habits that drive me crazy?  Dumb ones that don't matter a whole lot?  I look back and my expectations of my husband were of a fairy tale sort the first years of our marriage.  I figured I could tweak a few things that I didn't like eventually and would just worry about it later.  As time went on, I started to wonder what was taking him so long to change those things.  Then came annoyance, frustration, anger, hostility...  Till a year ago I realize that those annoying things may never go away.  Can I love him anyway?  Could I stay quiet about it and just let it go INCLUDING not harboring bad feelings about it?  Yep.  Because I'm pretty sure (100% sure) I have plenty of annoying things that he just lets slip on by.  Even if he didn't...  I'm learning LOVE is loving someone regardless if they never fit into the mold we want them in.  I married him just as he was.  I didn't marry Gumby who I could shape into whatever I wanted.  Women are so funny that way.  So what if he walks out of the house in an outfit we think isn't so nice?  If he likes it, isn't that what matters?  I'm learning all those little dumb battles aren't so worth fighting and I've let them go loooong ago.  Instead, I count the good.... and there are lots.  

Men marry thinking their pretty little (sweet) brides will never change and women marry figuring they'll change the guy.  Ha.  

heh heh.... this cracks me up

Crazy Kid Prank and a Letter Goodbye

My son Ryan likes to play these big pranks on the family but I think the other day his went a little too far.  It still gave us a chuckle but only because Kyle started laughing....after about 10 minutes.  Charles and I were talking in the back room for a bit (about a half hour) and when we came out, Kyle walked up to us sadly and handed us a card.  He said, "Mom and Dad, I have something really sad to tell you.  Just read the card."

I opened the card....

It says, "Dear Mom and Dad, Ryan and Kyle don't have a working heart so I'm just telling you so we can say goodbye to you, Mom and Dad.  Love, Kyle and Ryan."

I looked at him confused and asked him why he thought that.  He held his neck and said he didn't feel his heart "beeping".  I smiled and told him that he wouldn't be standing there if his heart had stopped and then I showed him how to feel his heartbeat.  It took some really good convincing.  With Ryan smiling  behind him I asked him what was going on.  He purposefully showed Kyle the wrong spot to check and then told him it takes about a day or two to die once your heart stops, so Kyle figured he had enough time to write a letter and prepare us for it.  Ohhhh, I felt so bad for Kyle (my 8 year old) and reassured him his heart was still "beeping."  After he realized it was just a huge prank he was laughing about it with Ryan.  What a stinker Ryan is!  I kept the card because I thought it was sooooo cute.

I guess I'd want the chance to say goodbye to family rather than die instantly.  Some say they wouldn't want to be sad and would rather go instantly but since having so many deaths in the family, instant or over time with cancer, I don't know what's worse.  I've had family members die instantly and I wished I could've said goodbye, told them I loved them.  The ones that died over a period of time from cancer, I wonder more what their last days were like.  Does everyone act sad around them all the time?  Does knowing your death is coming soon make you completely depressed and hard knowing you won't see your loved ones grow older?  Agh.  It's just all such a terrible thought.  Alas, it's a reality that happens all around us.  I'm just happy my heart is right before God.  I'm glad I'm learning to quickly forgive wrongs, apologize quickly when necessary, and am learning that some things are not worth fighting about.  Each day is precious on this earth.

When Our Day Doesn't Go According to Plan

Remember my big plans yesterday to declutter?  Two words.  Didn't happen.  As soon as I hit "Publish" I got a phone call.  Someone I know has been through some really hard hard physical problems these last few months.  Recently she almost died, about 2 months ago, and was hospitalized.  Had surgeries, came home, almost died again.  I was out running errands one Friday when the ambulance had to come get her.  She is not married, has no children, no family.  Well, now that she is healing she can't drive and is in so much pain all the time.  She called and asked if I would be able to take her some important places.  I knew I needed to but was still a little disappointed about my list I had planned.  All my plans for the day started to melt and fall away in my head.  However, I know what it feels like to live alone, be sick, and have nobody there for you.  I told her to give me 20 minutes and I'd head out.  It took the entire day and when we got back I had just enough time to get everyone ready for church and leave.


I know some people that would use people at every chance they get and frequently expect people to be able to drop their plans for them whenever they call.  I've often had favors asked of me because I'm a homemaker and they just figure I have all this extra time on my hands.  That maybe I'm just sitting around reading a book all day and don't know what to do with my time.  That's not Belinda (fake name).  She's a very, very independent woman who's always taken care of herself.  She put herself through college, got her bachelors, and was debt free by the time she picked up her diploma.  She had a really good career for years till she was injured.  It's not easy for people that have always depended on themselves to survive and take care of basic needs and then one day have to lay in bed with medical people all around having to help them.  When someone like THAT calls and says, "I need you", I know they really, really, really do.

I grabbed my book, my cell phone, and resigned to the fact that our days don't always go according to our own plans.  Taking her to all these places she really needed to go was long but it was hard to watch her just wincing to try and get in and out of the car.  After the last errand done, she cried.  She cried at her situation.  Cried she couldn't drive herself.  Cried that she had to have a team of nurses just to take care of her.  At the end of the day, you bet a thing like decluttering just wasn't nearly so important.  Yesterday was meant for Belinda.

Literally, my days have been so busy that I'm having to write everything into a calendar to keep up.  My doctor probably thinks I'm the worst pregnant patient ever because I forget things, forget my prenatals, forget to return their calls.  I'm not sure if juggling a large family is something I'm very good at.  There are probably a million women that can do it a thousand times better than me.  I do love being busy, hate laziness, and love being surrounded by all these little ones.  I can't imagine living life completely and totally alone with not one family member to stop by and say hi.  Sometimes it does us good to realize that like Job in the bible, it can all be taken away in a flash.  Our home, loved ones, a steady job.  Did you hear about the lady her lost her parents, 3 kids, and her house on Christmas morning in a fire?  They were all she had and she lost it in a fire.  

Fire at Conn. home kills ad exec's 3 kids, parents

Yeah, reading that kind puts it all into perspective.  It is better to love people and use things rather than love things and use people.  My plans can wait another day.

Leaving Bitterness and Unforgiveness Behind

It's Thanksgiving and the turkey is in the oven!  Every year I'm so surprised at how fast the holidays seem to come.  Time just keeps flying by. There is so, so, so much to be grateful for.  I'm grateful God is doing a work in my heart about not holding grudges.  It's not fun going through life and watching your back.  I'm learning that no matter how many people have hurt me, everyone's been hurt.  It's impossible to go through this life and never be offended.  Pain from others doesn't give me permission to be bitter and unforgiving.  My God is a forgiving God and has forgiven me of a far greater debt.  I've listened to some parts from a book called The Bait of Satan via audio.  It was amazing and I need to invest in buying my own copy.  With as fast as time flies and how fast these holidays come around, it's not worth shutting people out because of hurt.  Especially when we don't know if this is the last time we will celebrate Thanksgiving with them.  We have no way of knowing.  Just on Facebook this morning a friend posted "Asking prayers to go up today for a family with 10 children, as their father and husband passed away last night of a massive heart attack, very unexpectedly."   I cried and prayed when I heard this news.  Friends, instead of worrying about who did what in the past, remember how much Christ loves them so much more.  Holding onto bitterness twists us up inside and hurts us more than it hurts them.  We never know if this is our last chance to see someone we love (or used to love) and celebrate Thanksgiving.

So, I'm thankful God has put this on my heart as a start to healing and moving on.  Love ya and have an awesome Thanksgiving!  This year embrace someone you haven't in awhile (without strangling them. haha).

Should Christians Celebrate Halloween?

This is such a huge debate among Christians and wherever I see it talked about, it can get explosive.  I've mostly seen Christians talk against but rarely hear from Christians like me that do go out and dress up.  Here is how I've done it:

Halloween 2010

All growing up the rule was we could dress up in costume, anything we wanted as long as it was clean and was not demonic.  We didn't dress up as witches, goblins, ghosts, demons.  Nothing of that sort.  It was the one day of the year I could dress up as any character I admired and have fun getting candy.  It was no more than that.  We had to stay in a group and usually we went for hours.  I have so many fun memories of it growing up.  

Here is my solid belief on the matter and I found the perfect way to explain it from this link HERE but I'll copy a certain portion of it for my blog for an easy read.  

Can the Christian celebrate Halloween?

The answer is simple: Yes and No. Let’s look at the negative first.

The Christian is not to be involved with or support the occult, witchcraft, demonism, or any other thing that uplifts the occult. To do so is to contradict God’s word, dabble in demonic spirits, and invite judgment from God. If a Halloween celebration is centered on demons, devils, spirits, etc., I would say don't have anything to do with it.

On the other hand, it isn't wrong to dress up in a costume and go door-to-door saying "Trick or Treat." Provided that the costume isn't demonic, I can't see anything wrong with this.  It's just fun for the kids.

Take a look at the Christmas tree.  It was originally an ancient fertility symbol. Yet, it has become a representation of Christmas and the place where gifts are placed. Are the Christians, then, paying homage to an ancient pagan fertility god? No. Not at all. They do not consider it pagan at all and are simply joining in on a cultural event and giving no honor to anything unbiblical.

In the Bible in 1 Cor. 10:23-33, Paul speaks about meat sacrificed to idols. This meat was often sold in the meat market and the question arose, "Should a Christian each such meat?"

Paul said in verse 25, "Eat anything that is sold in the meat market, without asking questions for conscience' sake." This is most interesting. He says it is okay to eat the meat bought in the market place even though that meat may have been sacrificed to idols.

Then in verses 28-29 he says, "But if anyone should say to you, 'This is meat sacrificed to idols,' do not eat it, for the sake of the one who informed you, and for conscience' sake; ²⁹ I mean not your own conscience, but the other man's; for why is my freedom judged by another's conscience?" (NASB). Paul is saying that if you find out the meat was sacrificed to idols, don't eat it -- not because of you, but because of the other person. In other words, eating that meat won't affect you. But, it may affect the attitude of another who does not understand the freedom the Christian has in Christ.

Is it any different with Halloween (or Christmas)? No. Even though Halloween has pagan origins, because of your freedom in Christ, you and/or your kids can dress up in costumes and go door-to-door and just have fun. However, if you are not comfortable with doing this, then you should not.

Pastor Sawyer sharing gospel message after Halloween Play

Another side of this I would love to share with you is something my church does.  Growing up my church would put on haunted houses but not the kind you might think of. We'd cover real nightmares.  Abortion, drunk driving, suicide, gangs, murder, hollywood, drugs, etc.  It always was covered in the news because it drew a lot of attention. Often you'd hear crying during the abortion scenes because it touched a raw nerve in the crowd.  Why do ghost and goblins when sin itself is a nightmare?  In the end, the very last scene, would be a bloody Jesus on the cross and a minister giving a gospel message.  Hundreds of people would get saved through that.  What if we shunned that time of the year and as Christian hid away?  The opportunity to bring Christ to a lost people would be missed.  

This year my church did a Halloween play.  Of course the purpose was to bring a gospel message.  Not glorify evil.  It was powerful and amazing to see so many people respond to Christ.  I took my older boys with me knowing it was about the right age.  My boys had a really long discussion afterwards about sin, the effects of sin, and how we never know how long our time is here on earth.

Tomorrow, yes, I'll be dressing up my kids.  I'll be letting the kids play out their favorite character and get candy.  No, we won't be participating in sacrifices or praying to demons.  After trick or treating we'll be attending the Halloween play again to support it and pray with people.  We're really looking forward to a fun night.  I really think this is a personal conviction.  If God spoke to my heart on he matter, of course I will obey Him.  Just as we still put presents around our Christmas tree.  We are not worshipping the fertility God. We are just having fun exchanging gifts and celebrating Jesus' birth.  Of course we know that was not His actual birth date but it's pretty darn awesome that we set that one day out of the year to celebrate.  

Does your family stay home during Halloween or do you dress your kids up?

Amazing Story: Firefighter Who Survived the Collapse of Twin Towers

This photo was taken exactly 23 days before the
 9-11 attacks Chaz was 1 and Ryan was 3
days old here.

(If you would like to hear the story of the firefighter who survived being inside the collapse of the twin towers, scroll to bottom of post)

I don't think anyone can forget and everyone knows exactly where they were and what they were doing when they found out our nation was being attacked.  Real people were being targeted.  Families being destroyed.  Sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, engaged, married, single, new moms, pregnant moms, children, were all being targeted.  It didn't matter if they were rich or poor, white or black, or religion.  A group of people thought Americans deserved death.  What would drive these people to such utter and bitter hatred?

I remember that day.  I was sleeping in my bed with my little newborn Ryan.  He was only 3 weeks old when I was jarred awake in the early hours by a phone call from my mom.  She was frantic.  At that time the news barely had any information.  Both towers were still standing.  I was confused.  Possibly a terrorist attack?  On American soil?  My gosh.  I'll never forget the wonderful feeling when President Bush called us to join together and fight.  For months afterwards there was such a unity among people it was comforting. We all put American flags wherever we could.  We all agreed.  This attack was not okay and we're gonna do whatever it takes to protect this nation for us now, our children, and our children's children.

Everyone has their theories of that day.  As with any major news, war, or attack, there are always theories that come with it or conspiracies.  I truly believe it was exactly from those it was reported to be since I KNOW people from that country that told me they were taught to hate America all growing up and to want death for us.  They hated our freedom and envied our blessing.  As shocking as it is that people would go so far as to kill others in the name of their god, it reminds me of why we are so blessed here in America.

Just imagine.  We have the right to attend a Baptist, Mormon, Pentecostal, Catholic, Satanist, Seventh Day Adventist, Jehovah Witness, Jewish, or Speedway Racing church.  Heck, you don't have to go to church at all if you don't want to.  We have the right because thousands of people died for us to have that right.  Of course we want to reach out to people looking for answers.  Of course we are passionate about sharing the good news and reaching out to lost souls.  I know I grew up witnessing to others and praying with people on the street.  Then following up on them, encouraging them over a meal or just over the phone.  That's the beauty of America.  You are free to share your faith and live out your faith.

What happens when those freedoms are attacked?  There is a group on Facebook, actually several, that continually attack a certain denomination.  They happen to be attacking my church and all the surrounding churches.  If you dare just make a comment that what they are saying about your group is not the truth, they will pounce on you, harass you, swear at you, and you are only grateful they have no idea where you live.  They will write you letters telling you that no matter how happy you "think" you might be, you are secretly miserable and don't you wish you could be miserable with us?  They will spend hours writing letters, posting hate speech, calling you names, and generally just trying to make you look like an idiot.  How dare you love your moral values and beliefs.  How dare you find happiness and peace in what you believe.  I wouldn't be happy in that religion!  If I hate it, why in the world don't you hate it?"  Sometimes I'm so shocked by just the hatred and bitterness that oozes from sites like these.  Facebook says they don't allow a hate group such as these, but yet somehow they still exist.

If we all spent our time shouting out names at each other and spent half our life trying to make anyone miserable that doesn't believe exactly like us, would we truly be living?  Whatever happened to just living out your faith, being a good example of your faith, sharing the good news with others, and if someone doesn't want to hear it, moving on to the next person?

American may take for granted what God gave us but we have to remember that sooo many have no idea what that's like.  Have they truly seen freedom?  Do they know the beauty of freedom?  How can you know when you've never tasted it?  Breathed it?  Lived it?  Oh, how I wish they could have that too.  My friend, who died fighting over there, said people thanked him daily for fighting to give them freedom. Imagine that.  We are told they don't want or need freedom.  But inside, whether or not we would be allowed to say it, every one of us long for it.


There is nothing wrong with having passion for our beliefs, but if it comes at the price of hurting others, calling names, threatening, verbally abusing, assaulting, something is really sick there.  Not too long ago those terrorist men were little boys that were indoctrinated at a very young age. Sitting in a class, cross legged, and forced to sing songs against America.  Wide eyed and cute little boys forced to learn hatred at a tender age.  Years and years of that can not only wax a heart cold, but can leave nothing but an empty shell.  A shell that will then serve as a killing machine.  My heart aches for those little boys.

My heart aches in hopes that America will not only pray for these people but will not become tools for spreading hatred in our own communities or within family.  So what if someone doesn't believe like you?  Act like you?  Dress like you?  Talk like you?  God created us all AND he gave us a free will.  Thank God America believed we should still have that.  I hope that never changes.

My heart aches today thinking about people crying for their lost loved ones.  Ones they lost 10 years ago today.  Children that will never know their dad/mom.  God, please be with these families today.


Courage in the Towers


Would you like to hear a first hand experience of a firefighter who was inside the towers when it collapsed.  HE was in a stairwell and SURVIVED.  His story is amazing and will bring tears to your eyes.


Part one:

Part Two: 

My Dog Scooby Died

p.s. This is picture I took of Ashley kissing Scooby when I first got him.

A few days ago, Charles came in to tell me that he went looking for Scooby (my miniature Dachshund) in the backyard. He came to Charles but was hiding under the kid's slide. He said Scooby looked skinnier. I went out to see and sure enough he barely had enough strength to come to me. I took him inside and held him. 

So I called to make appointment with vet for this morning. They told me to give him dropper with pedialite every half hour. So I did it for hours trying to nurse him back to health. So this morning, I went to go get him from his bed but he had died overnight.

I know sometimes kids are kids.  Things happen or kids are ignorant.  I had some kids over and one of them threw him up in the air and he landed on concrete.  I freaked and said "Don't ever do that again."  Within 10 minutes I saw her get on the trampoline with him and throw him off the trampoline.  He went high up in the air and once again landed on his stomach.  He died of internal injuries. Absolutely BROKE my heart.  My kids are used to little animals and I've really taught them about how to be gentle.  But other kids that have never had animals maybe don't understand. They are not rag dolls.   


Hopefully the lesson was learned and it won't happen again.  So that's why I felt like getting Hoover was getting my Scooby back.

Jiminy the Grasshopper

Well, a little grasshopper the other day hopped into Ryan's (my 6 year old) hand. He asked me if he could keep him. I said "sure" and went to go get the frog habitat that we have. You are supposed to buy a tadpole and put in water. Then as it grows to be a frog, we can watch the process. Pretty cool. We have wait to get a tadpole because it's not yet season. Soooo, I ran to get the frog habitat for my little Ryan's grasshopper. He was just so excited! He watched Jiminy and fed him. I told him little Jiminy likes plants especially but Ryan figured he would like a Cheezit.

 Well, Jiminy only lasted 2 days. Ryan cried his little eyes out at the discovery that his pet had died. Before I really knew how badly his heart was broken, he ran out to hide in the backyard. I went looking for him. He was crouched down hiding, still holding Jiminy in his hand. I told him I was so sorry and I cried with him. I talked to him about death (a lighter version) and offered to have a little funeral for him. Ryan said okay but as I began to dig the little hole, Ryan said "I am not putting Jiminy under the dirt"! He was afraid for Jiminy. So I offered something to put him in first. Well, we couldn't find anything tiny enough so I wrapped him in foil and we tried the funeral again. I said a few kind words (hee hee) and told him to have fun hopping around in buggy heaven. 

Later Ryan was asking me questions like, "Is there a buggy God? Can I see him again?" I explained that there is only one God and he oversees all the people, bugs, and animals. 5 times he dug up little Jiminy and I would see Ryan crying over him! The rest of the day he was just in tears and I would find him in a corner balling! I think this was Ryan's first incident with death and it just jarred his little innocent mind. So I explained it a little to him. Throughout the day we just cried together and talked about Jiminy. Just to comfort his little heart. I'm sure since we're getting chickens and a tadpole, Ryan will gain a new pet! LOL! Just had to share this story with you. Kids are just too cute.