Monday, February 13, 2012

What If My Husband Doesn't Fit Into My Mold?

This picture made me scratch my head....

Till I read this...

The night before the burial of her husband 2nd Lt. James Cathey of the United States Marine Corps, killed in Iraq, Katherine Cathey refused to leave the casket, asking to sleep next to his body for the last time. The Marines made a bed for her, tucking in the sheets below the flag. Before she fell asleep, she opened her laptop computer and played songs that reminded her of him, and one of the Marines asked if she wanted them to continue standing watch as she slept. "I think it would be kind of nice if you kept doing it" she said. "I think that's what he would have wanted".
-Not sure what is more honorable: Being married to this faithful wife to the end or the Marine standing next to the casket watching over them both.

Gosh, this picture breaks my heart.  I can't imagine what that would be like, the pain... What would it be like thinking that there is another day to say goodbye, another day to say I Love You?  Yet, that next day never came for her.  

One of my favorite pictures of all time
With Valentines coming up I've been thinking a lot about unconditional love.  What is love?  Is love wishing my spouse would change habits that drive me crazy?  Dumb ones that don't matter a whole lot?  I look back and my expectations of my husband were of a fairy tale sort the first years of our marriage.  I figured I could tweak a few things that I didn't like eventually and would just worry about it later.  As time went on, I started to wonder what was taking him so long to change those things.  Then came annoyance, frustration, anger, hostility...  Till a year ago I realize that those annoying things may never go away.  Can I love him anyway?  Could I stay quiet about it and just let it go INCLUDING not harboring bad feelings about it?  Yep.  Because I'm pretty sure (100% sure) I have plenty of annoying things that he just lets slip on by.  Even if he didn't...  I'm learning LOVE is loving someone regardless if they never fit into the mold we want them in.  I married him just as he was.  I didn't marry Gumby who I could shape into whatever I wanted.  Women are so funny that way.  So what if he walks out of the house in an outfit we think isn't so nice?  If he likes it, isn't that what matters?  I'm learning all those little dumb battles aren't so worth fighting and I've let them go loooong ago.  Instead, I count the good.... and there are lots.  

Men marry thinking their pretty little (sweet) brides will never change and women marry figuring they'll change the guy.  Ha.  

heh heh.... this cracks me up


Unknown said...

Loving them no matter what can be difficult at times, but then I think about the "what ifs". My hubby does something really funny (gets up out of the easy chair, lets the blanket that was on his lap fall to the ground, and leaves it there) that can annoy me. The other night I told him "you know, if something ever happened to you I would miss that!". He obviously didn't understand right away but was cracking up once I explained. Those little habits are annoying, but I look at that first picture and it makes me love my man even more!!! Good post. :)

momto9 said...

Ah this really touched my heart!!!!!!!!

Chris H said...

Totally true.
I would not change one thing about my Stew.. he is PERFECT to me.

BekLovesJeremy said...

this is great! thanks for the reminder!!!

Unknown said...

My name is Cherisa I found your blog through the networkblog on facebook.. I have enjoyed reading your posts. I have just recently become a stay at home.. How do you entertain and yet teach your younger children.. Mine have always gone to daycare. You are welcome to checkout my family blog at.. I look forward to hearing your great words of advice..

Virginia Revoir said...

Hi Cherisa, thanks for visiting my blog! :)

I really don't know any different because my mom never worked outside the home and stayed with us too. I loved it as a child so I wanted the same for my kids. We don't have a TV but we do have 5 computers in the house, homeschool, have chore time, they ride bikes a lot, and love to play outside. I get them lots of costumes from used stores and let them just have fun building forts in the house and being imaginative. :D We all homeschool the same time and I let the little ones color or play on my iPad if they are wanting to pretend they are homeschooling too. Usually they are content just to walk around and play with their toys though. Thank goodness. LOL.