Saturday, February 18, 2012

Living the Life of a Traditional Wife

My dog feels like he should be
included on these food adventures
I was so happy to put Friday behind me that I was even happy to go to bed.  I just drug my tired bones to bed, flopped down, and passed out within 5 minutes.  I woke up remembering that today was free breakfast and coffee at IKEA day.  Free breakfast?  For my whole family?  We are so there.  I met my dad and and we all sat together to eat.  At least they did.  I got up constantly to either take kids potty, get drinks for everyone.  Oh, you need ketchup?  I'll be right back.  Or need napkins.  Someone needed butter and more french toast.  Hmph.  And people wonder how I keep my weight off.    I get it done with quick or I'm taking one bite in between getting up.  As frustrating as that can be sometimes, I had an elder gentlemen approach me at a buffet one time while I was getting the little ones their food.  He said he was watching and loved to see a mom serving her family.  He said it's so rare these days.  Really?  I guess that's true but I've really known no different.

My mom always made dinner for us and she truly served us.  I had no idea how hard she worked because she was always taking care of the house, sewing, or doing projects while we were gone at school.  I just assumed the house kept clean on it's own.  Duh.  My mom was a homemaker and my dad worked.  My mom found ways to make side money at home while my dad mainly supported us financially.  For me, there are no blurred lines.  I tend to see household duties in black and white.  I feel like I'm extremely traditional but I love it and it makes it to where there are no hard feelings.  We each know our roles in the house and that's that.  Basically, my husband makes a living for us, takes care of the vehicles, yard work, and takes out the trash.  I take care of the home and all the kids in it.  :) 

I've never expected my husband to get up in the middle of the night to feed my baby.  I've just always felt so blessed that he would lovingly provide for us.  I could never imagine depriving him of rest before being gone all day.  I've never expected him to change a diaper while I'm home.  If he does, you bet he gets a big hug and kiss from me.  I see those extra acts of kindness as just blessings but never expected.  Life is so simple and wonderful this way because I never feel like the lines are blurred and because of it, there is no hard feelings festering inside.

I've never once in 13 years asked Charles to wash the dishes, the clothes, or mop the floors.  He never pressures me to go get a job and I've never heard him ask me once in 13 years.  Often, even several times a week, we express our gratefulness to each other.  Basically, he provides the home and I take care of it.  You can't get any simpler than that!  So many times I've seen couples fight over who does what in the house and I can see why there is resentment.  It's so hard when the lines are blurred and even if couples want that line blurred, it's good to write down what is expected of each other.  Every family is different in how they happily operate and I know my way is considered extreme to some but that's okay.  We are all different.  Thank goodness God gives a free will and we are all not robots.  I do love this life and I know we had discussed this before we even married.  The funny thing is we hardly discussed kids but somehow we ended up with seven.  :)  We figured we'd have two more more but if you told me I would have seven I would've probably fainted.  LOL.

Some call me ULTRA traditional but I just feel ULTRA blessed.  ;) Learning Activities-First Month Free-Click Here!


Unknown said...

I love how you explain everything so matter of factly! I have always worked. Up until this last October. We alwaus thought it would be too hard for me to stay home and Not work. But to tell you the truth as hard as this has been for me to transition to I wouldnt have it any other way. And I thank Moms like you that make me realize HOW FUN & AMAZING THIS NEW ADVENTURE IS!!.

Virginia Revoir said...

Oh, I'm so happy for you! There are so many fun adventures as a mom. I hope I don't come across as condescending to anyone choosing a different way. I just feel like when all my kids are raised then maybe I will do something outside the house. For now, I know my time is so short with them and I'm squeezing it for all the time I can get. ;)

Kerrie said...

This is so great! I consider myself to be a modern woman and all that, but I am also a WOMAN. My husband the other day said it's great how I let him be the man. He does his guy stuff and I do my mom/woman stuff. Even though I don't like to shop or get made up and can't cook or clean very well, I TRY, and that's what counts. And I don't nag him about helping. You rock! I like being barefoot and pregnant and have a great marriage!

Lianna said...

It is definitely good advice to not have gray areas, even for working moms. It definitely does cause resentment when one person feels the other should be doing more. It can be a problem when a woman is expected to work full time time (just like her husband) and ALSO be fully responsible for the house and kids. I work full time and my husband and I split both the housework and taking care of our daughter. It is clear who does what because we have talked about it. He cooks and takes care of the yard/snow removal. I do dishes, laundry, bathroom, etc. When something is not working, we talk about why it is not working and think of a solution to the problem. I can see why a lot of working moms have it hard though, I know I am so lucky that my husband sees that if I am going to work full time that means that we split the house/child rearing duties!

Virginia Revoir said...

Kerrie, that's what counts the fact you try! I'm sure my husband could do some things better than me but thank goodness he never tells me that. LOL.

Virginia Revoir said...

Lianna, that is awesome you guys worked out a system! It sounds great. I'm pretty sure it'd cut back on a lot of fighting if more working couples did that.