I miss my blog. It's where I went to put things in perspective for myself. A lot of times I held back because of my blogger spies that frequently let me know they are watching me and making sure I don't say anything I shouldn't. It got me in trouble before with people but I just don't care anymore. I have definitely changed my direction in life in this past year and it's been such an incredible change. A very good change. How could I not shout it from the rooftops what Jesus has been doing in my life? It may not be the path they wanted but the only path I'm interested in walking God's. Not man's.
Another reason I hadn't been blogging was because I had an extra family living with me and I had zero time. There is no exaggeration there. I would run nonstop from wake up till I fell in my bed. I've been able to get my kids on a schedule since 2009 so it's not as hard. They knew what to expect from day to day. It's a whole different story taking in kids that aren't used to it. I wasn't able to train my kids overnight so it wasn't easy to try to get it going with the new kids. I felt like I was finally gaining some ground after they had been here for 4 months but by then they were gone.
You know how each mom is different? There is a saying, "There is no perfect way to parent but a million ways to be a really good one." I've finally learned a couple years ago that moms have to stop pushing their way onto each other. Respect each other for our differences. My friend and I wildly, wildly parented our kids differently. Down to how we discipline our kids, bedtimes, habits, eating, cleaning, homeschool, etc. Does it make her bad or me bad? No. It just means we had different ideas on how to raise our kids. But being that we have our own habits and routines, it made the differences in the home tiring at times for her and I. Often at night, I would just collapse in my bed completely exhausted.
I don't care how good of friends I am with anyone, living with someone is not easy. Add kids to the mix and it's not easy. Two moms in the house? Just ask some polygamists. They often have to work through the same issues. Daily. I only had to do it for four months. By the time she moved out she was relieved and her kids were relieved. We were relieved and my kids were. I slept well for the first time in months. It's just hard like that. My house was quiet and stayed much, much cleaner. She doesn't have to deal with Juliet and her getting into everything. So we both appreciate things we otherwise might have taken for granted! I greatly took for granted how hard I have worked on my kids on their routines and homeschool. Having our days go back to what it was four months ago makes me really proud of all the years of hard work and training. I've just been so encouraged by the entire experience.
Sometimes when we allow God to do a work through us, even if it's hard, in the end it was a huge lesson to be learned. If we're not careful of our attitudes in the process and after, we'll lose the lesson that was meant to teach us and bless us. Especially where there can be growth in our own hearts!!! I had a terrible time with hospitality. I've lost a ton of friends (maybe not real friends?) by switching churches. That hurt and because of it I grew very withdrawn. I wanted to just be with my family and not reach out anymore. A week before this family moved in I asked God to help me with hospitality. Coincidence? I don't know. Maybe. But I took it. Was it for money? No. They paid rent but we still went in the negative from the extra supplies used, water, electricity, etc. You know why I didn't mind? Because it wasn't about the money. I knew it was a work on my heart and I badly needed it. It's almost as if my heart went into a major surgery that was badly needed. It pushed me to my limits and taught me patience I thought I already had. I'm sure it did the same for my roommates! The fact that a friendship can survive through such differences and never getting a break from each other is a wow factor for sure. :D
Maybe in the future I should stop running from tests just because I'm afraid it'll be hard work. I'm glad I didn't run from this one. It was hard but worth the journey.
Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.