Friday, October 02, 2015

"Don't You Think Your Kids Need School Socialization?"

Well, the school thing for my kids has been unbelievably horrid.  I put Kyle, Ivy, Ashley, and Caleb in a charter school.  Kyle had gotten bullied so badly that we switched him to another school.  It went good for the first day and then went way downhill after that.  Kyle has been dragging his feet since the second day.  Kids are calling him gay and making fun of him for not going after girls.  Yeah, we've taught him over and over that you focus on academics and not on crushes.  Why would they?  He's only 12 years old and can't marry till he's 18.  It's okay to think a girl is pretty, of course.  Thankfully, he listened to the advice and he thinks of school as a place to learn and not worry so much about the opposite sex.  Kids have said vulgar things about him to his face.  Sex acts that they think he wants to do to other boys.  Writing love letters to boys and signing Kyle's name. Another kid would stand over him and block him so when it was dismissal time he couldn't get up.  Then if he tried, he'd get shoved down.  Kyle's confidence level has gone way done.  It's only October!  He's been in school less than a month.  All three bullies were separate incidences and all three were suspended.  However, when one kid is suspended, another kid steps up to take their place.  I get comments from the teacher that Kyle is very respectful to them and he's such a good kid.  In fact, his teacher from the first school said she misses him because he was her only respectful student.  Really?  REALLY?  Why?  Her only respectful student?  That is very sad.  :( Every morning on the way to school Kyle and I will talk about the bullying.  He asked me why they hate him so much.  I told him because he's different.  It makes people uncomfortable when you listen, do your work, are respectful to authority and they aren't.  It's like shining a light into their heart and exposing them.  He's not meaning to, but his exampleship not only makes him stand out, it makes them feel bad.  We talked about right responses to insults and violence done to him.  He's tried going to the principal but she's talked so down to him he doesn't want to go to her.  He shakes like a leaf in front of her.  I've gone into the office and talked to her.  I told her I've taught my kids to never pick a fight but they can defend themselves.  Both teachers he had from two different schools told me they are not allowed to defend themselves.  They just go to a teacher.  That's why sometimes bullying continues.  Kyle got in trouble because he got cornered and was being shoved down.  Because he was cornered and no one to help him, he punched the kid in the gut and was able to run away.  Soooo, maybe by him defending himself that kid will think twice.  Every day, every single day, Kyle begs me to keep him home.  He's been sad and lost confidence.  He LOVED the school on the first day but when you spend your day watching your back and enduring what he has, you lose your love of learning.  This is why I get upset when people tell me I need to socialize my kid.  Really?  With kids that swear all day, talk about sex acts they want to do with each other, yell sex acts at my son and make fun of him?  I vaguely remember 4 years ago my kids going through being choked and beat up in school and me saying that this was not the kind of socialization I want my kids to have.  I'm giving him the weekend to think about being pulled.  He wants to come home and be a part of bible studies again and learning here.  He will have regular teachers since it's through a school, it'd just be at home. 

Kyle's 12th birthday

I really don't think it's a mistake my boys are respectful.  I really, really believe it's because they've had good socialization.  We were able to watch what kind of friends they had and their influences.  Respect is taught at home.  Clean language is taught at home.  Kindness is taught at home.  Character quality is taught at home.  It's really hard to keep that training if it's sabotaged all day.  Teachers can only do their best but it's so sad when instead of teaching academics, they have to worry about bullying, disrespect, perversion, and keeping a bunch of rowdy kids from climbing the walls.

Next time a parent asks me if I think my kids need more socialization, I'll just say, "No thanks.  Not that kind of socialization."
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