Monday, January 11, 2016

Saying Goodbye to a Very Hard 2015

This last year was one of the hardest years I've been through in a very long, long time.  I was so happy to say goodbye to 2015.  One thing I'm closing the door to is having any adult/families move in.  I'll help find friends a shelter if they're in need, and I have done that recently. I just can't have anyone moving in anymore unless it's foster children.  One reason I can't is because I am realizing that my parenting clashes sometimes with other parents. (NOT saying my parenting is superior and theirs is bad). I'm active in their every day life down to the nitty gritty. I work really hard at knowing each and every one of my kids down to knowing their favorite food, color, favorite clothing item, and secret struggles.  When you live with another family that lives completely different, it's extremely hard to mesh together with rules and expectations.  I've had two families live with us within 1 year so I'm closing the door to that chapter.  I know it was hard for them to live with us as well as we have so many rules.  We have to to function well as a large family.  We have LOTS of fun and we've worked so hard to make sure we have a fun house for kids.  Kids from other families often ask to come over. Rules doesn't mean we're mean.  We just have function.  There are wake times, breakfast times, school/homeschool time, chore time, game time, lunch/dinner, and bed times.  AND ABSOLUTELY NO WHINING when we ask these things because whining is also disobedience and defiance  We even have a 17 year old friend that knows he can come and go as he pleases.  We love and trust him very much.  He's very much earned it. 

Also, this last year we had some HUGE unexpected changes.  Back in July we rescued a friend from a bad situation.  She had three children as well.  While at the shelter, DCS decided it was best to remove the kids and place them in foster homes.  I cried and cried as I felt responsible being I removed them from their home. However, they were living in a bad situation with abuse so it wasn't a bad decision at all.  I saw the kids were very  much out of their mother's control and running all over her. She wasn't used to taking care of the kids without the father around.  Also, they were used to being managed with an iron fist.  Take that away and the kids just went wild.  I agreed with DCS to take the oldest son but not the other two.  I didn't think I could manage the small girl's behavior from what I saw.  Well, it's been 3 months and I found out two months ago that the girl was doing AMAZING in foster care and was very calm and happy.  I became friends with the foster mom and we started to share days with her.  (I named them Michael and Grace since I can't say real names.) I started have a feeling in my gut that something was going on and we HAD to take grace.  You would never believe it.  I called the DCS worker and told her we changed our mind and are willing to take in Grace.  The worker told me that if I hadn't of called that day, she was about to be taken to a relatives house.  A relative of the abuser and this person does NOT have a good relationship with Grace.  So, even though Grace was in an amazing foster home, family has preference and she would have transferred.  Because I have her sibling, I get top preference.  Well, she was placed in my home yesterday permanently until mommy gets them back.  :D  That was totally God putting her on my heart and brother is relieved.  

Charles and I have been working really, really hard to get our foster care license so once these two kids go back to their mom, we can minister to and take care of two more kids.  I'm so excited as this has been my dream for many, many years!!!  My biggest dream is to work in an orphanage but since I have children at home, I wasn't able to work at one till they were raised.  Foster care/adoption is the next best thing.  We've gone through many home inspections, paperwork, and have had lots of studying to complete.  We won't be done with our classes till the end of this month. I'll be so happy when we're done. 

On top of all this, I had a baby!  Ha ha.  I forget that physically and mentally 2015 was a humongous adjustment.  I didn't gain one kids last year, I gained three!  On top of that, people moving in and out of our house.  I'm starting this year off with prayer and fasting because I'm believing for it to be an amazing, peaceful year.


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