Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Why It's Hard to Be a Foster Mom

I'm not sure if I ever updated how I have two new foster kids.  One is 15 and the other is 11.  Boy, it's been a journey.  They have quite a bumpy road they've had to live.  The hardest thing about being a foster parent is getting them the help they need, therapy, vision, dental, and doctor appointments and see them grow in maturity.  To be with them through the tantrums, cops being called, being cussed out, but rejoicing when growth and changes are happening.  Even the tiniest change makes me want to rejoice!  Those tiny changes towards healing is what makes it all worth it for me. 

Here is the hard part.  Knowing the case plan is set for reunification and almost nothing has changed. Situation is shaky at best with mom and kids are going back.  As much as I want a stable life for these kids, all I can do is love on them, bring them to Jesus, feed, clothe, and care for till they go home.  Boy, it makes it hard for me.  Somehow I have to learn how to love and let go.  NEVER, EVER do I want to keep children from a mother that is doing her best to change for the better.

This is what's even harder.  Knowing when to just let go and let God.  Or when to report when you know there is lots of lying going on and DCS thinks mom is doing fabulous.  How would my conscience feel if they go back and get hurt?  Seriously hurt?  My heart hurts because the mom is actually someone I've known for awhile and a friend somewhat. We don't hang out but we are friendly and known each other for two decades. 

Sigh.  I have a love/hate relationship with fostering.  Jesus, please give me peace in the path you want me to take.  Give me discernment when needed.  And, boy, do I need it!  I love these kids, don't want to keep them from their mother, but also care for their safety.  Thank you for blessing me with these beautiful kids.

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