Thursday, May 19, 2011

When Husband Says So

My husband has tried for the last couple of years to have me go to bed earlier at night.  Since his career has changed and he's home early in the morning instead, he really wanted our hours to line up.  My whole life, because of all the ministries my parents led at church, we were late nighters.  We are usually 12am-8am sleepers. Charles has asked and asked for me to change it.  For the sake of him being my husband I thought it was about time to give it a shot.  This was his desire.  Not that he hits me over the head with the bible ever, but my conscience was hurting.

What's wrong with late night moms?  This was my favorite alone time to fold laundry, read a book, blog about something, mop the floors.  Just relax and have some quiet.  Even cleaning in the quiet without having to constantly stop can be relaxing.  Sigh.  This was his desire so I guess I just needed to try.  I'll be happy when he's back to his other career.  We used to be late nighters together.

Okay, so I tried laying in bed and staring at the ceiling for a looong time.  I tried waking up early, taking no naps...... still would lay for hours at night.  My body was trained to stay up late. 31 years of it is not easy to reverse.  It was even hard not to be resentful.  After unsuccessfully going to sleep by 10pm I looked for some help but didn't want drugs. My best friend offered to let me try her low dose all natural vitamin pills that help you sleep.  This is something you can buy in the vitamin aisle at Walmart.  So it's not strong stuff at all.  Like how Sleepytime Tea works.

The vitamin worked but only if I'm laying down.  Otherwise it doesn't work at all.  That's actually a very good thing.  Miraculously I now sleep from 10-6am and every day for over a week now.  It's soooo weird.  There are definitely plus and minuses about it though.

Positive: It doesn't matter how stinking hard you work ALL day as a mom and homemaker, you are consider lazy it seems if you don't get up with the sun.  Even if you folded clothes till 1am and near exhaustion, by golly, you're lazy!  Now I'm not considered lazy according to early risers.

Positive: My husband and I go to bed at the same exact time. He thinks that's pretty cool.

Positive: I can't think of any other positives AT ALL.

Negative: I now have zilch quiet and alone time. Totally stinks.

Negative: Now that I'm up earlier, my kids get up even earlier. I'm telling you my kids are SUCH light sleepers. I could get up at 4am and they'd be up with me.  So no quiet time in the morning either.

Negative: My amount of book reading is down very low since I would read while house was quiet and I could read more than a paragraph.

Goal met: A happy hubby.  If his career type (engineering) ever opens back up then I'll be happy to change my hours again.  Yes, I know it's weird to the modern world but I do sometimes have to slap my attitude since I do strive to be a Proverbs 31 wife.  STRIVE is the key word.


Ellen Ross | Ask Away Blog said...

the pics you use, the way you write, everything..its awesome! u are so entertaining.. and this reminds me of what a true blog is... seriously!! i always enjoy reading this stuff!!

Karen said...

I have the best of both worlds...since my husband is a truck driver, I stay up late when he's gone, and go to bed early when he's home (by then I'm exhausted from the late nights/early mornings). My kids get up at 6:30 like clock work (in fact, I bought a clock for our oldest when he was 4 or 5 and told him he couldn't get up until then...he still is frequently awake before that. The kids go to bed at 8:00 regardless of whether I'm staying up late or not. I do admit to struggling with not having that alone time on weeks when my husband is home every night...rare, but they happen.

Virginia Revoir said...

Thank you so much, Ellen! I really love writing. :)

Karen, I know what you mean. I grew up with a dad for a truck driver. They have some interesting hours. Thanks for visiting!

Virginia Revoir said...

Thank you so much, Ellen! I really love writing. :)

Karen, I know what you mean. I grew up with a dad for a truck driver. They have some interesting hours. Thanks for visiting!

Blondee said...

You are a wonderful wife! To change your habits to appease hubby is just so sweet, even though it is a struggle for you. I hope the kids sleep a little later so you do get a few of your minutes back to yourself!

Lianna said...

I have to go to bed around 10pm or so, and it's so hard for me when my husband doesn't go to bed at the same time. Even if I do fall asleep, I wake up when he comes to bed and it disrupts me. I don't really settle in until he stops rummaging around and comes to bed. Anyways, it's really nice that you changed your schedule for husband. He probably hasn't been getting a good nights sleep with you on a different schedule. Hopefully someday his work schedule will allow you to be late-nighters again =)

Happy Elf Mom (Christine) said...

"Even if you folded clothes till 1am and near exhaustion, by golly, you're lazy! Now I'm not considered lazy according to early risers."

HA HA HA I love it. One thing that bugged me when I used to go to church was this idea that it was more holy to wake up early to have "alone time" with God. God never wants you sleeping in or doing anything fun. :)

Kerrie McLoughlin said...

you are SO lazy! right now the kids are playing outside and i'm in charge of SEVEN kids and i want to watch a little TV, but i would feel lazy so i'm catching my blog up for the month of JUNE! then there are those 6 dishes in the sink that only a sloth would leave until tomorrow :-) we all go to bed around 10:30 or so and I get up earliest (after hubby goes to work) so i can have some time to myself in the morning. at night i'm too tired to want any time to myself or for my poor, long-suffering hubs. somehow our marriage staggers along :-)

Amber said...

You are such a thoughtful wife. I know how hard it is to give up that precious quiet time. I am so glad my husband and I are on the same sleep schedule. I don't know if I would even be able to go to sleep if he wasn't right there next to me, or at least in the same room.