Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Caught Up In the Moment

Ivy (left) and her best friend in church
Last night while laying bed I thought about my kids growing up and one day moving out of the house.  Out of state (eek), or just not coming around.  I thought about them starting their own lives away from me, getting married, being busy with their jobs.  Just being away.

My heart physically hurt.

You hear all the time about problems in families where a child never calls.  Or one that is mad so they say something mean or ungrateful and hold a grudge and stay away.  Lately, in the last year, I decided to stop trying to have the perfect house (it's near impossible for me anyway) and focus on my relationships with my kids.  Now I cuddle with them on the couch more, build legos with them, let them show me how to play a video game (I stink at understanding football).  Taking the time to let them cook with me rather than just shooing them out of the kitchen.  It's so much harder to train them to do their chores but I know I'm helping them learn responsibility. 

I KNOW I am raising adults.  I'm not trying to raise them up to stay a child.  But ohhhh, my heart aches at the thought of them moving away.  I joke with them all the time saying we should all live in a coldesac and just stay nearby. Ryan just flat out tells me he's never moving out and never marrying.  I told him although I'd love to hog him to myself, that is NOT a good idea.  Besides, I want to cuddle his children some day. 

I need to remember to get caught up in the moment rather than worry about "someday".  I truly have been enjoying them and don't mind putting down the laundry to go play hide and seek.  I can easily clean during their school hours instead.  I know when I look back, I won't be thinking "Man, I kept my house looking niiiiiice".  I'll be more proud if I cultivated relationships with my children. 

God has given me the best thing in life I could ever imagine. He planted the seeds through His wonderful miracle of creation, I get to water them by caring for them and raising them in His truth, and in His grace, watch them bloom.
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