Thursday, May 14, 2009

Making Changes

My friend, a fellow blogger, gave me good advice the other day. She said that every year, she evaluates her relationship with people her in life and she cuts off what is not healthy. I felt like for so long I just took so much. Allowed so much to be said to me, really harsh things by they same people, year after year. Why do I go on pursuing relationships that hurt me? It's so weird, but this last year, it's like these relationships, the detrimental flaws, all came to a head at once. I kept putting myself in situations where my family, my homeschooling, my kids, my finances, and my church was questioned and insulted over and over. Why do I do that??? My husband and I both decided that even if it hurts, we have to let go of what is not healthy for us as a family. I don't like to walk around with a guard up all the time. I don't like doing that because it's almost like by doing that, I had to harden my heart. I'm not that kind of a person. I've always been a very positive person. Thank you friend for helping me see what I had to do because I did just that. My pastor says to stay away from people that are always negative. It only pulls you down. I don't want to grow old and become this crotchety and cynical person. I want to be peaceful, fun, thoughtful, growing, and encouraging person. :) My kids and my husband are too precious to allow others to make us feel ashamed for who we are. I'm so incredibly blessed. On a positive note.... I love these pics! We were running more errands and in between driving, while stopped, I would play math questions with them. Of course we had some ice cream too. By the time we got home, the kids were so happy to be out of there seats, they were all happy and being goofy together.


Anonymous said...

Cute pics!

Happy Elf Mom (Christine) said...

Your kids behave badly all the time!

In other news, why don't you talk with me more often?


But SO TRUE that we do need to cut those ties. Sometimes the cut doesn't even have to be physical because some of the problem people may go to the same church, school, supermarket or whatever. Sometimes we just need to say something that we know will make that break. Stand up.

It's hard. You feel guilty about being a bit nasty but later... you're glad the "relationship" is over and you're back to just saying "hi" and not spending any time with useless people.

Looks like everyone is doing a LOT LOT better.

Virginia Revoir said...

It's hard though because you'd be surprised how many I had to cut off. Friends AND some family. Because it's been year after year, nonstop. It's completely broken my heart. I don't know what's worse. Being put down all the time or breaking ties. It just hurts. The only thing keeping me here is my parents and my church. Otherwise I would move to a beautiful state that I love. I really don't like where I live at all. :P Seriously! LOL. It's so ugly. But now that ties are slowly getting cut off, it makes it easier to think about moving. Not sure though because I do love my house. The housing market is just not good enough right now to think about moving. I would looove to move back east somewhere. :)

The K Family said...

I think that you are like me Jenny. We are very positive people. We look at the good in others, and we expect that goodness to be reciprocated. When it's not, we question ourselves and our initial judgments about people. Why were we friends with these kinds of people in the first place?

It breaks my heart to let people go. But if 40% of that person is a good friend, and the other 60% doesn't care about me, it's time to let that person go.

Just think, for every person that you let go in your life or cut off ties with....there is another person that will walk into your life who may amaze you and make an incredible impact on your life. :)

Virginia Revoir said...

Thank you for that last comment. :) It was uplifting. You are right about me.

Virginia Revoir said...

I'm back later reading "K"'s comment. She was right. All of a sudden, people I never talk to have befriended me. Charles and I both feel like a burden has been lifted from our shoulders. It's amazing. Like we're not sludging through mud anymore. Having only good influences in our life has made the sun come back out again for me. :)