Monday, May 25, 2009

Eyes Wide Open

Last night my husband and I were up late talking (Like till two in the morning) trying to figure out why so many things were coming to a head at once with issues in our lives. The last two months especially have been a struggle, a battle and I felt like there was never a break. Seeing friendships fall apart or with other people in my life. Last night, about midnight, it dawned on me, or God was opening my eyes, to the fact that everything I was cutting off in my life was for a better purpose. Why do I compromise? I'm compromising because I'm allowing these influences to constantly have a say in my life. The bible says, "Bad company corrupts good morals". Well, guess what? If you have a family and you are always hanging around someone who condemns families and says that by you having so many kids, you are doing wrong. Those words have power and they will continue to haunt your thoughts. Sure you tell yourself to blow it off. Does it work? Why continue to be around someone who makes you have to blow it off constantly? If you hang around someone that is always cynical of other people and has nothing good to say, could you maybe start having to struggle with cynical thoughts towards people? I know I have. If you hang around someone who constantly finds ways to justify sin and will even use scripture to do it, could you start having those same temptations? Even though you know full well what the Bible says about it? One by one, I went through and evaluated why I was having these struggles and I realized it was because of the influences I was allowing in my life. I love my large family! Why was I letting someone speak constantly insult me for loving it? I love my friends in church! Why was I allowing evil words to be spoken against them? I want to live my life whole heartedly for God, why was I fellowshipping with those that try to tell me I'm too fanatical about God? Why? When my eyes were opened last night, joy flooded through my heart and peace came into my mind. I knew now that this battle, this hard time, had a purpose. It was a time of pruning. I felt like I was sludging through mud up intil this point. I woke up this morning and felt like it was a new day. A NEW day in my life. This is why I love blogging because I have found friends that love families like I do. You have no idea how much you have helped me to realize that, although big families aren't popular, God has a special place in His heart for them. He only said it repeatedly in scripture over and over and over! Children are a blessing and an inheritance.
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