Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Good Friends Are Hard To Find

My husband and I were having a discussion in our van today while driving home. He asked me what I felt a good friend was. I said that (for me) it was someone who is not temperamental, not easily offended, doesn't overuse their friends, understands boundaries in asking favors, understands that family comes first, loves God, talks respectful and positive of other people, is not cynical, and fun and upbeat to be around! Also that I am able to talk about things close to my heart and they will keep those secrets quiet. I have such a hard time trusting people because I'm so afraid to get betrayed again. It's happened so many times in the past. My husband pointed out some things to me of my characteristics that might scare people. Charles' words:

"With you, it's 'what you see is what you get'. There is no hiding around the bush with you. You don't act one way in front of someone but then secretly think something else about them. If you don't like them, you just don't hang out with them. You don't waste your time. If you have a problem with someone, you are upfront about it rather than go and talk about them behind their back to other people. That is what I love about you is that you are not a fake. You are the same girl at home as you are at church."

He reminded me that although sometimes that can scare people, it's better than being friends to someone who you have no idea if they are talking about you behind your back or they are shallow. I come from a family that doesn't hide around the bush. They just like to have fun, be goofy, be truthful, and be honest about our feelings towards each other or with circumstances. I think this is why I tend to hang with just a friend or two at the most and that I'm happy to just hang out with my husband and kids. I don't like shallow people. I don't waste my time. My dad always told me that if someone is willing to gossip to you about other people viciously, be guaranteed, they will do the same thing to you with their friends. I like my dad's wise words. :) Lately I've been really searching my heart and dealing with things not only in my own heart, but what kind of people I hang out with also. The bible says "Bad company corrupts good morals". I really believe it and I've experienced it as I'm sure everyone has at times. That's just life. I'm not into clicks and will never be a part of one. I look for the person that doesn't have a circle to be in. Sometimes, you find gold in them. They might've just been looked over because of the way they dress, or their style (or lack of it), or that they are shy, or quirky. I pray that God will reveal what things in me are hard to like as I pray that God will bring friends to me that are Godly and can see that the glass is half full! Life is wonderful. I do believe in forgiveness. But where is the line? When do you say, "Okay, now you've crossed the line way too far. I forgive you but that's enough. No more. I can't trust you anymore." This part is hard for me. I've made mistakes and I want to be forgiven also. So where is the line? This part remains hard for me to figure out.
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