Friday, June 10, 2011

My Funny First Experience in a Tanning Bed

I get scared by sounds of things really easy and tend to think everything is gonna blow up.  Like when I got my first coffee maker, you know those really awesome one cup Krueger ones?  Well, when I first turned it on it started to make a loud boiling sound.  I shut it off 4 times before I trusted it not to blow up.  AND, I ducked on the floor.  I'm glad no one was around because it was embarrassing.

Darque tanning bed

I finally joined a nearby tanning salon (I know, I know it's not good for your skin) and I picked the best one I could.  More like a luxury one to make sure it's safer.  They really do make different tanning beds.  Some that are safer than others.  I always say tan fat is better than white fat so I feel much better in my swimsuit now.  Heh heh.  

Anyway, my first experience was interesting and I'm glad I'm in a booth all by myself.  First they give you a 5 minute timer to get ready. I thought there'd be no way I would make it.  After derobing as fast as humanly possible, it turns out I had enough time.  Time enough to lay there and think and at least have panicky thoughts.  It feels like you are going into a coffin first off.  As I pull the top down over me I felt like I was saying goodbye to the world or something.  It was weird.  While waiting for the lights to come on I checked all the Star Wars looking controls and hoped I even knew what I was doing.  Then I had this fear that someone would open the door and see me.  With my funny little goggles on I would not see it coming.  Then I hear the lights come on and I feel like I'm in some sci-fi movie.  That I was about to be shipped into outer space.  As it starts to get warmer I started to worry that I'd fry to death since it was getting hot.  I contemplated rolling out onto the floor for my own safety just in case the machine decided to explode and kill me.  Or fry me to death because of some weird shortage.  It was a long 8 minutes as I thought of every scenerio. Then I wondered if I was laying right.  Should I bring my arms in?  Out?  In?  Out?  I kept moving them back and forth trying to decide.  I looked up and saw a spritzer so I thought it'd be nice to try.  I turned it on and since it made a loud noise I panicked and tried to shut it off in case I got electrocuted. But it only goes off on it's own after a few seconds.  I must've hit the button 20 times.  By the time the tanning bed shut off on it's own I breathed a sigh of relief. I was still alive.
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