Friday, July 17, 2009

My Blogging Friends, I Need Family Advice

Have you ever had family, whether it be close family or in-laws, where no matter what you do, there is always one person who continually insults you? They insult your mothering, insult your decisions, tell you how much they can't stand you, tell you how they've never liked you from the beginning. Imagine at almost every get together, they make sure to make you feel as uncomfortable as possible and give you dagger eyes from across the room. Treat your kids bad or ignore them because they don't like you. Jump at everything you say and somehow twist it to make it a personal insult that you deliberately said to them. In their own mind, it was aimed at them even though you meant it completely different. To top it off, turn the rest of the family against you by constantly spreading lies. Makes family get togethers in general, completely miserable? At least for you? I'm not the first person in the family she has done this to, I'm just the first to not allow the bullying and make a stand.

I made a stand, actually my husband, about 2 months ago. He was tired of seeing the tears when I went home. Tired of seeing the abuse. He cut anyone off that was continually doing this or who had any part in it. Since then, life has been more peaceful. The kids don't ask why they are treated bad when visiting anymore. I don't have this thumb down on me all the time so my heart has been more at peace and so has Charles'. Since shedding all relationships in our life that was continually abusive or exhausting, I can say life has been more enjoyable and relaxing. I am more confident as a mother and wife, which of course affects how you are with them daily. Don't get me wrong, I didn't just CUT them off at first offense. I'm talking 10 years of continual abuse. I did forgive many, many times. We just thought it would be healthier for our family to let go of anyone that was destructive in our lives. Once they are willing to change, we will embrace them with loving arms again. Gladly. That's what we so hope and desire for.

How would you handle it?

Would you do the same?
Would you just say "well, family is family. Just have to keep forgiving and put up with it?
What are your thoughts?
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