Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Insomnia Monster Has Got Me

Why, oh, why must I have insomnia now??? It's so weird. It's 1am again, I'm not tired at all, and I keep resorting to getting up and cleaning things here and there around the house every night. I at least get about 6 hours of sleep though. I'll wake up in the morning and just be wide awake, even though I hadn't slept much. I'm not napping in the day because I can't fall asleep then either. Do you think it's my meds? In the hospital, it would put me to sleep which is what they wanted for lots of rest. Now, it seems as if my body is becoming immune to the medicine because I still have lots of pain but now I can't sleep. Today was my last day of my two week treatment of antibiotics. Shouldn't my kidney pain be gone? I was slowly getting away from the medicine but now I have to go back to it and it only takes away the pain for an hour verses 4 hours before. I'm really worried being that I'm pregnant with my little Caleb. I don't like having to do this while he is in m tummy. If I don't take the pain medicine, then I can't walk. Well, taking care of five kids can be really difficult if you can't walk around and you're just lying in bed. Today, my husband came home from work and I was just in my bed in terrible pain. I cried and told him I was so tired of being like this. I just want to be my hyper self and be with my kids, really caring for them. Yesterday was a great day for me, pain wise, so I cleaned the whole house. I was so happy. But then I woke up this morning with my legs killing me (that one was my fault) so I went to take a bath early in the morning (since I can't sleep). I was just finishing with my morning chores and as I bent over to get my homeschooling stuff out of the closet, the kidney and back pain just startled me and I once again had to put the stuff down and just go to my bed. Why? I had such a great morning. I was able to take a peaceful bath, read my bible and pray, and completely relax before the house came alive. I am really, really leaning on God now. He knows how self sufficient I am and how much I hate to be like this. I'm not the kind to sit around and be happy doing nothing. My husband calls me the "hyper bunny"! LOL. Thank goodness he is so patient and has such a huge heart. He deserves such a huge trophy for all he's done for me in the last month. Wow. I love you, Charles. You are the greatest.
Sorry I had to poor out my heart on here! That's why I love my blog so much. :) I love to write.


Anonymous said...

I believe sometimes things like this happen to teach us something. Maybe you need to learn about resting--since it relieves the pain-- and letting others do for you. That may be hard for a lot of reasons, but it may be the only solution. Can't your Mom come and stay for a while or someone else? Will they check again on the infection? Maybe it isn't clear yet? Really praying that you will be better soon. Blessings--Bonnie

Virginia Revoir said...

Thanks Bonne. My mom did help a lot when I was real sick but she actually leaving for Seattle to visit family for awhile. She helped me in the most critical time and I am so thankful. I am getting an ultrasound tomorrow to see how baby is doing. This will be my fifth ultrasound so that is fun. :) Also just to see how he's holding up under all this. A couple of weeks ago, he was 2 1/2 lbs and was at the perfect weight for how far along I was. So I hope to see good news again tomorrow. I do need to slow down. :( It's hard when you homeschool though and you have a schedule to keep up with. Plus, I don't just clean my house, I really work with my kids. I used to do everything for them. Now I delegate and we all work together as a team. When I am down, they're like "hee, hee... no work for us" and things just fall apart. Haha. It's okay though. I just don't like to ever be lazy and that's why it's hard for me to sit down and just chill out.