Being that my 11 year anniversary is in two days I started looking through old pictures. The first one was just a month before I got pregnant with my first. I guess I didn't need those "pills" after all. The one where I am holding my nephew, I was newly pregnant with my first. I was totally tripping out right there. Not on drugs. Haha. I mean I just couldn't believe I was going to be a parent. In fact I didn't really believe it till I brought my baby home for the first time and walked through my front door. I'm surprised I didn't faint I was so shocked from it all. I think the killer for me was being woken up every 2-3 hours in the night. Wowza. My husband said I looked like a zombie and I would cry a lot. Yeah, the reason was because I was just to figure out what in the world I was doing and being that I never really took care of babies before, this was like rocket science for me. Just trying to change a diaper without getting peed on seemed like I needed courses on it. We were only married for 11 months when I got pregnant. Someone told me that I had no need to worry. It takes several months, even up to a year, to get pregnant after going off of birth control pills. Yeah. Ummm.... it took me 2 weeks. Wake up! You're a mommy! Having children was the best thing that could of ever happened to me, aside from giving my heart to Christ. Talk about my selfishess nature having to be beaten right out of me. I felt emotionally black and blue. I grew up and it didn't happen over night. Noooo.... Every day I had to die to my flesh. It doesn't mean I didn't love my little baby! I just liked my freedom and wasn't ready to give it all up. Not to worry, I got over it because 3 months after I had Chaz, baby number two was on his way.