Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Bridezilla!




I was in the bath tonight reading a magazine.  Ever in search of a birth control that is not conflicting with my comvictions, I came across an ad for one.  This is funny.  It's for YAZ it's called.  Here are some of the side effects.
  • Irritability (Poor husband)
  • Anger (Oh man, I bet that'll keep the guy away any day)
  • Feeling anxious (why you pace sometimes)
  • Fatigue (well, when you're tired you usually don't want to be with your husband.)
  • Markedly depressed moods (Oh great.  Might this explain the rise in anti-anxiety/depression drugs?)
  • Headaches ("Honey, not tonight.  I have a headache)
  • Bloating (This explains the tight pants syndrome)
  • Muscle aches (Now you don't have to work out to get this feeling)
  • Changes in appetite (for the better or for worse?)
See, maybe guys this is why your wifee runs away from you.  Guys complain that they don't have enough romantic nights with their wife.  WELL, THIS COULD EXPLAIN WHY.  Here you go.  Maybe that information shouldn't be in small print.  Maybe that should be posted up in every pharmacy that sells this kind of stuff.  Do you know why birth control works so well?  Because of these symptoms right here.  I'm sure the reason birth control works so well is because, well, those kinds of symptoms would drive any two people apart.  Scary, huh?  I remember taking birth control pills way back in the day and I had all those symptoms.  I turned into a crazy lady.  Maaaaybe, this is why divorce in on the rise. YOU NEVER KNOW.  Just think about it.  A sweet fiance, looking forward to her wedding day.  She starts on this birth control stuff and all of a sudden you have a irritable, angry, anxious, overly tired, depressed, prone to headaches, weight gaining, achey, snack munching in the middle of the night, new bride.  Kind of like BANG, welcome to marriage baby.  Hmmmm.... maybe we ought to think of another route to birth control and see if possibly these rates of marriages that end before six months just might start going back down.  Annulments could go down!  "Whoa, who are you and what did you do with my wife?" kind of stuff.  Gives you something to think about.
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