Monday, August 29, 2011

When Critics Are At Their Worst

Yesterday at church Pastor Dodd preached on fear.  Towards the end of it he asked if people wanted to come down to pray about it.  I asked myself, "Do I have fear?  What am I fearful of?"  Then I realized I do have one.  The worry of what family or friends would say if I ever had another child.  I used to think I was alone in that but after talking with my group on Facebook I realized that it's a common fear.  Although there are those that are encouraging, the critics can be very loud.

Back when I discovered the truth about birth control pills, it radically changed my way of thinking.  I no longer could just take one pill a day to keep a baby away.  So what to do then?  I desperately searched every method.  Just when I thought one was safe or looked into someone's suggestion, I would find out that it also was another method of abortion.  TRUST me, I searched.  So many just trust whatever their doctor says without truly finding out for themselves.  What do you do when there are no pills (even implantations) of any sort that will not abort babies?  You use NFP (Natural Family Planning).

Because I had changed my method I also needed to change my heart.  I wasn't someone that considered having a large family.  The pressure from everywhere was to get my tubes tied, get my tubes tied, get my tubes tied..... I didn't want to do that because 70% or more of people who I've talked to always regretted it later.  Not only that, I felt like I was cutting God off from having any say.  Well, I needed a change in my heart.  I prayed and asked God to help take the fear away of not being a good enough mother. Could I handle more?  What would people say if and when I did get pregnant?  What about finances?  Although I have not tried to get pregnant (trust me I could have a baby every nine months), I've had 3 kids since using that method in the last 8 years.  EVERY SINGLE ONE is a joy to my soul.  I can't imagine what I would have missed out on.  The work God has done in my heart is a miracle.

Baby Caleb was born in 2009
The fear was not so much "How many kids will I end up having using that method?"  It was the critics.  Wherever we go in public, or people we know, what will they say?  The last baby I had brought more critics that I ever could imagine.  The stress was unbelievable.  By far that was the hardest pregnancy I ever endured because of the rejection.  Well, precious Caleb is now two years old and I don't have a baby on the way.  At times I have dreaded facing the critics again if I were to find out I were having another.  Could I handle it?  I've prayed about it, talked with mentors about it.  Finally I realized something.....

When the critics are at their worst,  the only one I need to be

worrying about pleasing is God. Obeying Him is what matters

most. Let God be true and every man a liar.

Have you ever had to face this fear?  How have you handled your critics?

This story really touched my heart

Also, here is a sweet post I read today:

Which Would I Choose to be Without?

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