Monday, August 15, 2011

When the World is Screaming in Your Ear

Today I overheard Ivy having an important conversation with her little sister.

"No Ashley.  People go poopoo and doggies go doodoo.  There is a difference."

Ivy in 2005
Charles and I were silently laughing in the kitchen because we didn't want them to stop.  It was sooo cute!  We love sharing stories throughout the day about cute things we overhead.  Last night baby Caleb kept his brothers up because he wouldn't stop climbing all over them. Caleb is used to having his own room but since we moved him in with his big brothers he now thinks it's just a big party.

My firstborn Chaz (born in 2000)
I've had an attitude check recently.  Every now and then I let the world scream in my ear about how kids are a burden.  Kids are just too much work.  Materials things are more important.  Don't you need your sleep?  Aren't you sick of changing diapers?  Late the other night I repented about my attitude I was getting and asked that God would help me to love children again.  That they would be the most important "things" to me rather than all the material things I could ever gain.  Sure our finances have drastically changed.  But a friend gave me an attitude check and told me my words are important.  That I wasn't putting faith in God and was doing everything on my terms only.  I knew she was right but when you have the world screaming in your ears, it's hard to hear those whispers of truth.  The pressure of rejection is so high. 

My 3 boys born within 3 years of each other (2004)
I have a group on facebook called Yes, They're All Mine and I notice a common issue with many families on there.


From family, friends, neighbors, schools, etc.  I wasn't alone.  I mostly wanted that group so we could have a meeting place to encourage each other.  Lift each other up when we feel unsure about ourselves.  Or just questions about managing a large family. 

I'm amazed at how quickly God has changed my heart and rescued me from falling into a selfish pit again.  Thank God.  He is so good.  Sure kids make messes (tons, ahem) and I get less sleep.  I know I've been changing diapers nonstop since the year 2000 without any breaks in between kids.  It's just funny how those things aren't such a big deal anymore.  With my first 3 kids it was.  I hated sleep deprivation with a passion.  I got tired of all those diapers changes.  But now it's like it's just a part of life.  Last night I got up 4 times in the middle of the night for no reason at all. My body is just programmed that way.  Changing diapers is as common as making meals and all those other duties.  You just become less and less selfish with each one and it becomes more about serving others rather than serving yourself.  I notice that in doing those things, I learned how to care for others even beyond my family.  Hospitality in my home wasn't so hard anymore and even became a joy. 

Chaz (3), Ryan (2)

When your heart is in the right place, it's no problem at all to serve because God puts the joy in your heart.  You really can sing while working.  Add a kid to the mix and working side by side helps create a bond.  It's scary these days because of the world's view of children.  Instead of kids revolving around their parents, the parents are at command of their kids.  Or the belief that children should not have to work because you'll kill their childhood.  Then they grow up not learning any responsibilities or look at their bosses as their enemy because of the work. 

It's truly a joy to see kids the way God does.  It'll definitely change your perspective.  I've been in both seats and it's definitely easier when your heart is in the right place.  That might get challenged when your digging a toy out of the toilet but, hey, at least it doesn't happen every day.  Haha
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