Thursday, August 04, 2011

My 11th Anniversary of Mommyhood!

Holding my nephew just after I found
out I was pregnant with Chaz
Yesterday was my 11th anniversary of becoming a mother which means Chaz is 11!!!  Has it really been 11 years since that day he was placed on me by the doctor?  I remember that moment like it was yesterday.  I had the hardest time believing that he was actually mine.  I felt like I was in a dream or something.  It actually took several days for it to really sink in.  I don't know why, it just did.  I wanted to write this yesterday but didn't have a chance to get on the computer.

Chaz's 2nd birthday
Dear Chaz,

Thank you for being my son.  Thank you for your patience with me figuring it all out and how to do the simplest things.  Thank you for all the times you peed on me while I tried to figure out how to put the diaper on.  Haha!  Thank you for loving me even in my impatient moments or the times where I cried because I didn't know if I could be stretched anymore. And you were just my first! I've had fun playing with you, running around, buying you toys, games, teaching you.

I'm so grateful I even got to share your sorrows with you and issues on your heart.  Some times I wish I could go back and cuddle you as a tiny baby.  To truly appreciate how short that time was but it's gone forever.  All I can do now is love every single day left I have with you.  It took me awhile to figure out that I had to die to myself in order to truly love the gift God gave me.  I'm sorry I didn't get it from day one.  But I still remember your peanut face and tiny hands.  I remember what an amazing baby you were.  I had so many compliments about how content you were.  I love you so much I don't know how to write it completely.  But seeing you hurt makes my heart ache. Seeing you smile, makes my heart smile.  Happy 11th birthday!


A post I wrote about Chaz on my 11th wedding anniversary.  :)
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