Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Mom's Definition of Delegation

Ryan helping me cut coupons.  He helped me with 15
inserts, I have 40 more to go after they are in bed.  :)
Today I decided it was time to learn about delegation.  There is just not enough time in the day to accomplish everything on the list.  And that's just to have a normal running house.  Not a perfect one (by far).  After working in the home today and laying kids down, I went to look at my list and realized I crossed off nothing that was important to me on that list.  But... I did spend a good amount of time teaching the kids about delegation.  I'm LARGELY against telling the kids to work and then just sitting on my butt watching them.  I'm working right alongside them.

Learn to delegate.You are not a failure as a wife, mother, or employee if you delegate. This includes delegating to your husband and children. -Dr. Phil

Of course, the completely traditional wife I am, delegating to my husband means I just don't take out the trash, work on the yard, or other manly type stuff.  I don't ask him about doing anything unless something is broken I can't fix.  Even when my babies were drinking a bottle, I never asked him to feed them.  If he did it was because he wanted too.  :)  I'm the same about diaper changes. It's my job unless he volunteers.  I figure he has a good amount on his shoulders providing everything for us.  Without him there would be no home to enjoy and take care of.  If he goes out of his way to do any of these extras, I take it as a wonderful gift and always shows my gratitude.

Ashley and Ivy
So guess what I did today?  I made new schedules for the kids with more details to it.  I was almost doing EVERYTHING and I just couldn't do it.  These are just things added to their chores.  

  • So Chaz now has a buddy to help care for.  Kyle is older but is very forgetful about certain tasks so Chaz is to remind him to brush his teeth morning and night,  make sure he gets dressed for bed and does his chores properly.  Chaz also lets the dogs out to potty at 5pm every afternoon.  He is to wash all boys' shirts every Friday and put away.
  • Ryan's buddy is now Caleb and he brushes his teeth every morning and gets him dressed for the day.  He also wipes him off and cleans his high chair after every meal.  He lets the dogs out as soon as he wakes up every morning.  Ryan washes all boys pants every Friday.
  • Kyle lets the dogs out at noon every day to potty.  Kyle washes all boys underwear, socks, and pj's every Friday.  So just one bin of clothes because that all goes in the same bin.
  • Ivy's buddy is now Ashley and she makes sure that Ashley brushes her teeth properly every morning and night.  She also helps her get dressed in the morning and into her pj's at night. Ivy also helps me with the dishes for lunch and for dinner. :)  She hands me then dishes and I load them into the dishwasher. Then we wash pots and pans together.  Ivy has always loved doing this so it's nice to work together.
I made sure they are following their Meal Helpers plan at meal time so that my cleanup is not so huge for me.  (Chaz sets out food, Ryan sets out all plates, Kyle cups, Ivy beverages, Ashley silverwhere)  was SOOOO much work situating all this today and reminding everyone their new duties.  It was kind of hectic so I'm gonna have to have a time schedule written out on the door.  That way they can see for themselves.  It's always really hard for me when I change things around like this but as time moves on, kids get older and things have to be changed around to meet the need.  

Chores before new ones added

We have a lot of fun working together so I don't believe in the whole "you're gonna take their childhood away".  No, I'm raising adults, not kids.  I don't want them to be afraid of work like I was.  My mom was very, very hardworking and looking back she just had so much on her shoulders.  In working together, we bond in a different way.  Rather than only bond over video games or TV, we are bonding while being a team.  Many hands make light work.  Then playing is a reward rather than a RIGHT which they get through several breaks in the day of homeschooling.

Ryan cuddling Caleb to sleep
Learn to say no. The world will take what you give. As long as you keep giving and giving and refusing to say no, others will keep taking and taking. People do what works and you teach people how to treat you. Saying no when it's appropriate does not make you an evil person. Keep in mind that when you say yes to something that you have no time to do outside of the home, you are essentially saying no to your child.  -Dr. Phil

I've had to learn how to say NO to people that just demanded too much from me and didn't understand what it's like to care for a larger family.  My family comes absolutely first above all and I can't feel guilty.  I've had to train myself to not feel guilty.  Literally, not taking care of laundry for a day means somebody goes without their clothes being washed till the next week.  Or the kitchen has to go another week without being sanitized and mopped.  Every day is carefully planned out.  More like goals that need to be met.  Doesn't mean they always are but it's important to give it my best.  

Prayer is something I'm having to work towards harder
than ever these days.  BUT I KNOW its the MOST
Character Quality Alert:

Orderliness vs. Disorganization 
Preparing myself and my surroundings so that I will achieve the greatest efficiency.  
1 Corinthians 14:40

Initiative vs. Unresponsiveness 
Recognizing and doing what needs to be done before I am asked to do it. Romans 12:21

Diligence vs. Slothfulness
Visualizing each task as a special assignment from the Lord and using all my energies to accomplish it. Colossians 3:23

Responsibility vs. Unreliability
Knowing and doing what both God and others are expecting me to do. 
Romans 14:12


The Trendy Boutique said...

What a wonderful post! You have a beautiful family and are obviously a great mother :)

BekLovesJeremy said...

wow! loved all these good ideas!

Chris H said...

I have always delegated jobs to my family members. You are even more organised than I ever was though!

Kerrie McLoughlin said...

Good for you! It is so hard to not feel guilty when delegating. I get so frustrated b/c I don't have time to play something with one of the kids and then I resent the house and the work and the cooking. I feel bad delegating b/c i chose to have so many kids, and yet when i was growing up as an only child my parents had no problem giving me daily chores like vacuuming, dusting, cleaning bathrooms and more. it didn't make me domestic or like cleaning, but it taught me that you have to work in a family and in life. i'm still not a great housekeeper, but i was always a good worker at jobs. so yep, the more they can help you with, the more you can go do fun stuff, play games with them, etc. i'm totally with you on this and learning as i go.