Thursday Thirteen #8

Thirteen Funny Analogies!



1. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

2. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

3. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

4. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

5. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

6. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

7. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

8. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

9. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

10. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

11. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

12. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

13. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.


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