Thursday, May 10, 2012

My Insecure Mind Battle as a Mom

The chickens come to our door every morning asking for Cheerios
Apparently they like it more than chicken feed.
Luckily, I've been reading a book called A Mom Just Like You.  I need it badly right now.  I relate to some things this large family mom is talking about.  I relate to her constantly wondering if she is good enough in everything she does.  Will I ever be caught up on laundry, house work?  The homeschooling issue really hit home for me.  It's not that I completely distrust schools because I know there are some fantastic teachers out there.  However, my kids flourish 100 times more with me and do great on their state testing when they do take it.  They flourish in the way of their attitudes, love for God, not feeling negative peer pressure nonstop, and they have much more respect towards adults in general.  It IS my job to raise them up in Christ and I felt like every day that I was sending them off, I had to fight "something" every time they came back home.  It felt like I was just retraining every single day.  Am I 100% qualified to homeschool?  Well, of course not.  I'm sure I have the grammar police right now freaking out reading this.  However, I LOVE to learn with my kids.  I truly love being with them every day and never have any regrets.  Having all 6 kids home and being pregnant truly plays a factor in how easy it gets messy and I keep forgetting that.  Like they say, it's like shoveling snow while it's still snowing.  Little stinkers.  They make life so wonderfully difficult.

You know, Caleb is a HUGE fan of the Cars cartoon and insists he sees it on the iPad every day.  He knows how to maneuver through that iPad like an adult can.  Well, often he thinks he owns that iPad and apparently even takes it to bed with him. He's two.  This is how I found him napping.  It would be nice if I could have my iPad back but Apple made it so cool for kids that I literally end up having to share it with 7 other people in this house.  

You know how people say that each kid you have needs their own space?  They fret over how many rooms they have in the house.  Don't kids need their own beds and their own room?  Look, I have tried to give them their own space and no one wants it.  This is how I found the kids while checking on them in the middle of the night and this was AFTER I transferred Ivy to her room.  There are 4 kids in this picture crammed like sardines on one bed.  It is not uncommon that I'll find all six kids on the bed like that.  They just prefer to all stick together.  Yeah, you can tell they are all crying about needing more space.

I was kinda feeling guilty about always sitting down whenever I had contractions and being that I don't want to end up having this baby late I took 4 of the kids to the park.  I didn't take Caleb because there is A LOT of water around.  It was soooo pretty.  Did I get any contractions?  Nooooo.... of course not when I'm actually willing to walk around and egg them on.  Well, I tried so I will tell the doctor I did give it some brief thought and followed through... Learning Activities-First Month Free-Click Here!


Lisa@ Only The Fields said...

I got absolute JOY from the picture of the kids all sleeping together! Mine used to be that way when I was homeschooling. We had an empty room that we used for storage because no one wanted their own room!

Sadly, this seemed to change when I had to put the kids in school so I could go to work. The world seems to teach division and you're not supposed to love your family.

Anyway, I love your blog and I think you are marvelous! Teaching your kids character and love of learning will take them way farther in life than just checking off tasks as they learn them. =)

Virginia Revoir said...

Thanks for visiting my blog! :) I have an extra room too that we just don't know what to do with. We constantly change it for different purposes as we get ideas. Right now it's just a play room and they don't even play in there. LOL. The boys just all want to stay together in their room and the girls want to be together in their room.

Happy Elf Mom (Christine) said...

Virginia, I just loved this post. I think it's just a happy chaos out that way, really. You get overwhelmed and are doing this and this and this and then the first thing you did is undone, right? :)

Rest up!

Virginia Revoir said...

It is a happy chaos. I think I worry too much. I hear so much negative thrown at me by family that it's seems to scream in my ears that I'll never be good enough for my family. I hate it and wish I could just be deaf to it. I really try. :)

Unknown said...

I love this blog post. I also had the same problem with homeschool, it seemed like every day my kids were sinking worse and worse into the beliefs and attitudes of others and not thinking for themselves or for the Lord. Homeschool has been a rollarcoster no dout has I just start this January but my kids are better for it. Also my kids have their own beds and yet at night it is VERY common to find them all together in one bed snuggled up.

Currently I am in the middle of writing a book some what like the one you descibed. My mother wrote and published a book last year and it got the wheels turning in my head to become as writer as well. I love to write. She writes fiction and I like to stay with non-fiction.

Good luck with the delivery of #7

Chris H said...

Your kids are all so darn cute!