Monday, March 19, 2012

Where Are You God?

I have not blogged a lot because I am going through a tough trial right now.  One I can't talk of but just feeling lots of anxiety.  Tears come every day and I don't have the energy to clean or do much of anything.  But I save face for my little ones because they don't need to have that worry.  My husband is a sweetheart and holds me when I am down. When I am alone I cry, "where are you God?  Can you even hear me?"  I've prayed and asked for a certain thing for so long.  A situation that is greatly hurting me and has just reached a boiling point.  My heart hurts so bad.  I've tucked myself into a protective cocoon just to avoid any more embarrassment or hurt.  I hate that someone can have that kind of power over me.

God, I have asked, pleaded and cried
You said those that seek You will find You
Where are You?  
Where are You?
Why should I hang my head in shame
When I have done no wrong?
How did I become the liar?
My heart hurts yet I don't feel You
My heart used to be held in Your embrace
I don't want revenge
That is not what I am asking for
Where are You?
Where are You?
At least let me hold my head up high
I have done no wrong
I'm just asking that You remember me
In my distress
Please don't turn Your face from me
I only want to serve You and You alone
Even when I don't feel You
You must be there...somewhere

I am a nice person that doesn't like any controversy with anyone.  I'll do anything to avoid it, even to my own detriment.   There was a time in my life where I was in major distress. I walked into my dark room in defeat and for some reason hit the radio button on my alarm clock. This song was on and I felt a peace come into the room.  God doesn't always come down in a bolt of lightening but I know He speaks to us in other ways.  

Post a Comment