We are having revival this week at church through Thursday. I am so happy because I need it so bad. Sunday service really spoke to me. He preached on forgiveness. Now I've heard tons of sermons on this. I don't think I ever really understood real forgiveness. When someone would hurt me badly, I would think "I forgive them" but then I still would be angry towards them in my actions. True forgiveness is taking the hit without hitting back. That is totally new for me. Not too long ago I had a friend that ripped me up one side and down the other. Totally broke my heart. I was so shocked that I responded badly back to her. I didn't call names or anything but I defended myself and was harsh. The next time this happened to me from a different person, I didn't get angry or become harsh back. I just told that person that they broke my heart and really hurt my feelings. I took the hit. I didn't sin in my anger. I regretted so much the first incident because now I was just as guilty. The second incident, I took the hit. Instead I prayed for that person. Both broke my heart. Only one I responded right about. Guess which one I lost a lot of sleep over? The one where I was being a bad example of a Christian. I should have taken the hit. Sometimes we can be tested. Unsaved people are watching us. Some truly have that longing to have what we have. I would be sad if I became a stumbling block to that person because I sinned in my anger towards them. Jesus might say, "would you take the hit for me?" No matter how much we may dislike that person, they have a soul and Jesus loves them. Hell is not something I wish on ANY enemy of mine. Ever. This Virginia has come a long way is watching my words and controlling my tongue, but I still have LOTS to learn and many more tests and lessons in this life. I pray that my heart is soft towards God's tugging on my heart. That he can still convict me and my heart respond. My flesh may want to pull me away from God with all it's strength, but my spirit longs to be in His presence and have my heart right before Him.