Thursday, November 16, 2006

Thursday Thirteen #14

Thirteen Reasons My Grandpa Got Kicked Out of Walmart

1. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies rest rooms.

3. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

4. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

5. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told of the shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

6. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

7. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

8. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

9. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

10. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

11. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

12. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

13. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

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