Thursday, November 15, 2007

Thoughts From My Heart

Lately I've had some things pressed on my heart that I've been giving a lot of thought to. I don't share it because I am trying to welcome critisism nor am I needy of approval. I'm just sharing.

 My kids near future (as teens) have been really weighing on my heart. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe because we humans tend to put things off in our mind that we don't want to really have to think about. I don't want to think about those turbulent times. I want my boys to stay little boys and my girls to stay cute little girls that just click their little play heels around my tile and hold dollies. Sometimes I stop and think, "Am I really doing whatever it takes to raise them in the Lord? Am I raising them up to really understand responsibility, how to treat their spouses, how to serve the Lord through good times and bad?" I don't quite think what I am doing is adequate enough. Right now they go to school for 9 hours, come home, do their homework, play an hour each of computer games, then do their chores, eat dinner, take a shower, have some playtime, and go to bed. Next day repeat. Where in there am I training for any of the other important things in life? Weekends only? Summer when schools out? Somehow, it doesn't seem good enough! When they were out of school. This is more what their day looked like.

1. Wake up and play quietly in their playrooms or watch story books online while mommy woke up and got ready for the day.
2. Ate breakfast together.
3. Had prayer and bible time with mommy.
4. Played while mommy gets caught up on her emails with friends.
5. Take care of all animals who need to be fed.
6. Each separates into their own list of chores for that day.
7. Lunch time which means whoever's turn it is to learn a meal with mommy.
8. Another's turn to load kid dishes in dishwasher. Plus we learn different chores together such as sorting clothes, cleaning dirt off walls, sweeping porch. Whatever extras need to be done that day.
9. Play time inside or out.
10. Nap time for two youngest ones.
11. Each kid gets one hour on computer for kids online games
12. Next round of feeding animals
13.Free time to do whatever while mommy does her own cleaning.
14. Storytime.
15. Next kid's turn to learn a dinner with mommy before daddy gets home
16. Dinner ready by the time daddy walks in and we all have family dinner time.
17. Fun with Daddy! (Usually means it our traditions "Wrestle! Wrestle!" time or Hide N' Seek).
18. Shower and bath time.
19. Prayer time and talk with daddy in beds
20. Bedtime 8-8:30pm
21. Mommy and daddy time
Now add into my schedule homeschooling time now that it is school season.

Okay, that's a big difference of training time I have with my boys compared to when they are in school. Those schedules vary depending on the day or errands to run. Also if there is church that night. So, I have been thinking, if I want them to have more time with me, get closer to God, and learn how to grow up with good training habits in the home and later on in their own lives, maybe I should homeschool. Okay, so this is new for me. I don't want them completely away from interaction with other kids. That's when, through my friend, I found this great program. 2 days at school, 3 days at home. The two days they are at school they are doing things such as P.E., Computers, Music, and touching base on some things they are learning from home. So still, all their curriculum is at home. When I visited the school, Charles and I were stunned and what the kids were like there. ALL were homeschooled kids who only come once or twice a week. They were all playing coordinated games together in recess. They were cordial, a boy said "excuse me" when his ball came bouncing up to me. No one was arguing, cussing, being rude to each other or adults. They was almost just a calm demeaner about them. We just stood and stared. I've seen public school and charter school kids. NOTHING like this. I know there some kids that are still respectful. But this was amazing. The teachers were great, the most in the class was 16 kids. You could tell the teachers really, really loved what they did. I thought, if this is what homeschooled kids are like, I definitely want to give my kids that chance. A chance to have bible study every morning, like I did when they were out of school. More time to train them in the kitchen and chores around house. Also time to care for their animals and learn responsibility. More time to train them in caring for others besides themself. When they finally come home from school, I have so little time to have any of that! 

 I worry. I sit and think about, their current schedule and wonder if I leading them in a good direction. It's great if they grow up wanting good careers. It's great if they learn their math, reading, (false or true) science that school teaches them. Those are all great. BUT, there is SO MUCH MORE than that. So, so, so much more. Most important, their relationship with God. Do you know what it's like in public school to have teachers and kids alike who could care less about God even though you do? You see just a hatred towards anything Holy. A hatred towards anything pure. No matter who puts me down, or who tells me I'm wrong, these are my convictions. And they've been heavy on my heart for quite some time. I can keep swallowing them and turning my head. But what price will I pay just a few years from now? I can go down that path, or.... I can stop and change things now. Give my kids an opportunity to go down a different road. A road better for them, better for us, a better chance for their souls. I love all these little guys and I want the best for them. So what if I have to sacrifice my time and not have as much free time. Kids really are fun and such a joy to be around when you stop thinking life is all about yourself. That's a revelation I had a year ago. I am a better person, first, because of God, second, because of my children. Anyhow, just some of my thoughts. Hope I was able to say it with clarity. It's hard to really do it right because there is just so much more and not enough time to write about it all. It would be too long! As if this isn't already. :P
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