My life in some ways feels like a blank canvas right now. Although a bit sad at times, I'm able to see who my true friends are. When I walked away from a certain situation, although I walked away peaceably, I lost friends in the process. I love those people very much and although I'm walking away, it is not out of anger, spite, or disappointment. I actually have so much to be grateful for beyond words. Do you know how many baby showers I had? Lots. People that taught my kids and invested in them. No way am I walking away with an ungrateful attitude. I'm walking away from my place of worship for different reasons. I truly miss the home church I grew up in and look forward to having ministry with people I've known for 30 years. People that also invested in my life for many years. In fact, the Sunday school teacher I had will also be my childrens' Sunday school teacher. Imagine that! It blows me away. It's a smaller place but my heart has always stayed there, even after I moved further away and relocated. However, my kids have only known one place.
I was a bit worried about relocating my kids but being it was originally their idea, mainly because they are feeling a bit tormented by bullies right now, I worry. Are they thinking all problems will just go away forever? That the way to solve a problem is to just run from it? I have talked with them almost every day to see where their hearts are at and they told me over and over the move is something they really, really want. I was bullied as a child so I know exactly how they are feeling. With that said, bullies are everywhere. Sometimes they can get away with bullying for a very long time and parents are blind to it. The last few times I attended with my kids I assured them that if they stay by my side the bullies won't bother them. Well, Chaz is 13 and doesn't want to have to stick by mommy's side. He wants the freedom to walk around and socialize. My kids just really went through a horrific bullying experience and that's when I decided enough was enough. Bullying can cause major damage in a child when it goes too far. I have to say though, bullying is not the reflection of a church, it's a reflection of the parent who does nothing or doesn't even notice. I would be horrified if my child was bullying. Truly. We have discussions all the time through family bible study time about loving every person despite differences in looks, race, or weight.
Even with a loss of friends, I am grateful for the friends I have gained from my place of worship for the last 13 years. I have learned a lot and really grown spiritually, emotionally. I have welcomed correction (with tears) and accepted guidance with an open heart. Hopefully, this new chapter in my life with open up even more for me spiritually as I have always strongly desired to have an impact on kids, besides my own. I've never been given the chance and am excited about it.
The comment I got on a recent blog was harsh but not shocking. Sadly, at that time I had not fully decided to relocate but that comment sealed the deal for me. It meant so much to me to have some of you rise up and challenge the commenter. I never meant to put any place in a bad light. I have so much gratefulness towards this place of worship and no bitter feelings. I just want to move forward into a new chapter and hopefully new growth in me personally.