Monday, June 03, 2013

Perfect House or Perfect Facade?

I read a really, really good blog post today and my mouth literally dropped open. I have felt this way for so long but had never said it out loud. I'll explain.

It's easy to put on fronts of our homemaking skills for Facebook, Instagram, blogs, etc. Would we really post that picture of our kid if we had a huge pile of dishes in the background?  Or the picture of the dog if the floor badly needed mopping and the spots were obvious?  I certainly have never had it all together and sometimes I scratch my head wondering why. I'm not lazy, work all the time, and rarely ever sit down. Work to me is not just about cleaning. Here is my idea of working at home.

1. Waking up and giving baby bottle.
2. Changing her diaper and outfit.
3. Getting my much needed coffee for the day and seeing how fast I can load dishwasher before coffee is done brewing.
4. Waking up kids and making them breakfast if we have no cereal around.
5. Bible study with kids and prayer.
6. Kneeling down and listening to my 5 year old tell me all kinds of details about her dream.
7. Throwing clothes in the wash and hoping I'll remember to switch it over since I have a ton of other tasks.
8. Setting up everyone's homeschool for the day and doing flash cards with my little ones.
9. Remembering that if I want to lose weight properly I'd better get myself breakfast so I make a protein shake.
10. Run between 5 kids to answer homeschool questions and finding the time in between to switch clothes to dryer.
11. Getting a bandaid for Caleb's "booboo." Comforting him that his finger isn't gonna fall off. It's just a scratch.
12. Rushing into the living room to see what the argument is between 2 siblings. Taking a few minutes to show how to solve the problem for next time and teach forgiveness.
13. Settling them back down for homeschool. Answering more questions.
14. Put in another load of clothes.

Okay, it's now 10am and day has just begun..... 12 more hours to go.

See what I mean?  It's not ALL about the cleaning. There is soooo much more to homemaking than just the cleaning aspect of it.  A mom is more than someone who cleans and cooks. She's attentive, directive, teaching, coaxing, showing, motivating, disciplining. The list goes on and on and on.

There was one time in my marriage where I just cleaned and cleaned all the time. Well, as the baby of my family I definitely have the birth order traits of someone who's not the best organizer. To combat that, I made up for my lack of it by just cleaning alllll the time.  One day my husband told me he loved the house but asked if I knew my boys. Did I really know them?  Their favorite color, truck, or favorite thing to do. I was surprised and even offended. Of course I knew my boys. Then I really thought about it. I didn't. He was right. I was too busy trying to uphold this image. It's been 10 years since he asked me that question and I promise you I know all seven of my kids favorite color, their dreams, hopes, favorite instrument to play, their best friends, favorite foods, their strengths and weaknesses, their fears, and more.

Okay, so I simply can't do everything. I'm not supermom but I try super hard and I give my absolute 100%.  My kids aren't my personal slaves and no I didn't have kids so someone could clean my house. My house was CLEAN before kids. So if I'm not able to hold up the perfect image for other moms then so be it. My kids and my husband are happy, satisfied, loved, and cherished. I've never heard anyone say they wished their house had been more clean when they were raising their kids. I've ONLY heard regrets that they didn't spend more time to get to know them. "someday I'll do this with them."  Well guess what?  That day is now. Don't waste any more time.

I said all that because this blog post touched my heart and I'd love for you to read it too. :)

Click here to read The Danger of Pretense by Cuppa Grace

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