My life has taken such a drastic turn this past month, starting September 1st, that I've been waking up to joy I hadn't felt in so long. I used to just lay awake at night with worry. It's hard to enjoy life when you are constantly worried God is mad at you.
I work hard to train my kids up in Christ yet I always felt I never could measure up to people that could give so much more. More meaning, outside of the home life. I treasure these short years we have and just have made them my number one priority. Rarely could I participate in church duties beyond my own home because I gave so much to homeschooling and training my kids up in Christ. Somehow, I felt so guilty I couldn't be busy with extra ministries. I mean, I could, but at the sacrifice of my first priority at home. Well, that left me with a load of guilt and it was heavy on my mind every day. I made some changes, big changes, and now I just feel free. A freedom I never understood before. Finding friends was difficult before and now I've just been making friends like crazy! Yay! It's totally been pulling me out of my shell that I had protected myself with over the last 14 years.
The peace and joy I have had was worth all the changes we went through. I was scared to start fresh in a new church but this next chapter has been one I've been looking forward to experiencing. Before I dreaded each day, yeah, I got that bad. Now, I wake up and look forward to it!