Sunday, July 14, 2013

Perfection is for Guest Visits Only - Not Everyday

Recently someone contacted me about possible being in a TV show and wondered if I was interested.  They were looking for families that feel like they don't have enough time together and would like to work on being closer together.  I thought about that and realized we don't qualify at all.  I constantly have thought about this and tend to evaluate where my relationship is with my husband and kids often.  I don't feel that I have any regrets in the area of spending time with my kids or husband.  No, I don't revolve everything around my kids but we do try and stay really connected.  I know, I know, I know that the key to being close with my kids when they are older starts when they are young.  I'm not going to wait to build a close relationship till they are adults.  I realize that now some of their concerns or small talk may be silly but it's important to listen because it'll gradually mature. I want them to know that if I'll listen now, I'll listen then.  I get sad when I hear people blow off their little one because the concern little Johnny is having seems silly.  It's important and really big to them. 

Most of my days consist of spending time with my kids and training them.  Often I won't blog or do anything else until I feel like I've met the needs as much as possible.  Ahem.  Hence the reason I tend to not blog AS often as I used to.  Sometimes at night when I'm thinking about getting on the computer, there has been several times that a kid needed to talk to me about something personal to them.  As much as I wanted my free time, I knew they really meant it.  I have a teenager in less than a month and another one in a year.  It's snowballing on me since I had three kids in three years when first starting a family. Their talks are getting more serious about issues of the heart.  I'm SOOO glad they feel they can open up. 

One of my three sons come up to me recently and told me they are experiencing thoughts in their head that are not good.  He said he fights them but they come back sometimes.  I asked in general what I thought it might be.  He looked embarrassed to tell me but did.  I said, "Well, I figured out the problem.  You are turning into a man.  You aren't there yet but what you are experiencing is temptation.  It's not a sin to be tempted.  Only when you let your thoughts dwell on them or you act on it."  He looked relieved and gave me a hug.  See?  It's stuff like that! I'm so glad they know they can trust me.  That they can openly talk to me.  Some day they will be grown up and out of the house.  I will make the time to be available because some day they won't be here and I can have all the time to do whatever I want.

My days can be sooooooooo hard at times and there are days I fall back in bed at night and just fall asleep almost before my head hits the pillow. It's a good kind of exhausted.  The kind that no matter how hard a large family can be, it is worth every minute of it.  My laundry piles rival the mountains and the dishes never, ever, ever end.  As soon as we clean it starts to fall apart but I'd rather just be happy for our two chore times a day than yell at them all day to quit messing up the house.  Yeah, it can get frustrating to have it look like it does at times but I realized that I was always going in circles after them to pick up, pick up, pick up.  I started to sound like a mean ol' broken record.  I finally settled on the fact that two chore times a day to pick up are sufficient and we can always do a perfect, to the T clean, if we have visitors.  So, if you walk in and my house looks perfect, you are the only reason why.  Perfection just isn't my cup of tea and couldn't be even if I wanted it.  Unless I want to go nuts.  Ha.
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