Saturday, October 25, 2008

Dear God,

How did I ever deserve such blessings? I remember the little girl that could endure a spanking from my parents just so I could hold out my stubborn will. I remember the girl that would follow my sisters around copying every word they said just so that I could make them yell. I remember the girl that snuck out my window in the middle of the night just so I could talk to a boy by the lakeside. I remember the girl that told someone to go away in church because they wanted to share the love of Christ to me. I remember making her cry I was so mean. I remember calling my sister fat and not meaning it. I just knew it was the one thing that she was scared of being so I knew it would hurt. I remember tormenting my older sister when she was dating her now husband, while she tried to talk on the phone to him. I remember throwing tennis balls from the back of the house over the roof to try and aim for her while she was talking to her boyfriend in the front yard. I remember trying to scare my sisters by tapping on their bedroom window late at night outside so they would think there was a boogieman out there. I remember not saying a word while the cops were looking all over around the house to find that bad man. I remember ramming one of my parent's car into the other one, causing a huge dent, and not saying anything when they saw it. I remember moving out when I was 18 and leaving church because I was a big girl now. I remember laying alone in my small apartment, feeling the depths of my loneliness and the longing for my family. I remember crying on the floor, so lost in my sin, crying out for Your forgiveness. I remember meeting a dear sweet friend who said he'd wait for me. I remember standing at an alter giving my vows to him and before You. I remember my sweet little angels you temporarily put in my care here on earth. I remember moving into this house, my first house, that You promised me when You spoke to me. I remember, God, that you gave this all to me. I will never forget, I can't forget, that You gave it all to me. Your Mercy, Your grace, Your forgiveness, and your gifts to me. How could I have gotten so lucky? I know it's not luck. It's all a gift from You. I must never forget.
Post a Comment