Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Circumcision Day for Baby Jaxon

Cuddling Jaxon after he had his circumcision
Man, I feel emotionally drained from yesterday.  Jaxon had his circumcision.  After the doctor took him in I left outside so I wouldn't hear him crying.  However, he did have major numbing first.  I think they more hate being strapped to the board.  STILL.  My baby, strapped to a board, getting circumcised.  Sigh.  Needed to be done. After it was done I had to sit in the office, feed him and then let them check him again.  It's sad seeing it the first day.  :(  His first diaper change he cried so hard that I cried right along with him.  I was crying hard while trying to change him.  Then on the way home I had to change him again.  I was fumbling because he was on my lap and I couldn't work fast.  He started peeing all over me and screaming.  Oh gosh... my mommy heart. By the night he no longer cried during diaper changes.  I made sure to completely cover in vaseline with each change and put a nonstick pad over the top.  This morning he didn't even fuss at all during both diaper changes.  He's back to his happy baby self.  My eyes are bloodshot from crying.  Gosh, I love my sons.  This is my 5th son getting circumcised.  When I found out at 3 months pregnant I was having a boy, this is the first thing I thought about.  Oh man, another circumcision.  Thank goodness they heal SO FAST.  Another reason I was feeling down yesterday was because he's only gained 7oz since he was born.  They told me he's not gaining enough and I have to suppliment with the bottle.  I've always, always struggled with my milk supply with every baby.  :(
Jaxon (2 1/2 weeks old)
Juliet (turning 3 this week) and daddy
The house is often so quiet with only a few times where it gets loud because we're all playing together.  Often I don't feel like I have eight kids.  It happens to me often where someone will tell me they are pregnant with their ninth kid and I'm like, "Holy cow.  Pregnant with their ninth!!  Wow, blessed lady!"  Then it dawns on me...wait a minute.  I have eight kids as well.  What am I talking about?  I'm blessed as well!!!  It just doesn't register to me that we are a large family.  I thought it'd be so much harder to have so many kids.  The laundry and mess piles may be bigger and the food dinners bigger to prepare but overall, once I had my first kid, that's where the real battle lay for me.  My selfishness had to DIE.  It was a really hard, hard, hard, hard, hard battle.  HARD.  Now, when new babies come, it's truly a JOY because I appreciate each little, tiny phase.  No more wishing I was done with this phase or that phase.  I was truly worried that when I had Jaxon, it would be hard to have a newborn again.  Nope.  It's been wonderful!!!  Even getting up in the middle of the night, watching him under the moon glow.  It's his most awake time.  Mama is tired but I know it's better to give him kisses than to grumble about my sleep.  Newborn time is such a tiny period.  :D  Happy, happy, happy sigh.

Thank you, Jesus, for each little phase of childhood.  Each one is truly a blessing as it changes and challenges us in different ways. 
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