Friday, August 22, 2014

Death of Robin Williams- Endless Void

I've written a lot about my grace journey this past year.  I also mentioned the incredible depression I was going through a year prior.  It was like an emptiness in my soul.  I don't even know how to describe it.  It's like a void that no one can fill.  Not your friends, loved ones, or any form of materialism, success.  Yeah, yeah... I heard a million times.  Jesus is the answer, Jesus is the answer.  HE IS.  I'm not saying He isn't.  But when you think grace only exists for for a short time, when you receive Christ, but after that you are on your own with your own good works, it can be tiring.  I thought I knew who Jesus was.  Boy, was I waaaaaaaaay off.  I thought I knew the Bible backwards and forwards.  Especially the part about why Jesus had to come.  I thought I knew. I didn't. If you want to hear my long study, explanation of where and why I was losing faith, I explain why in the next few paragraphs.  Otherwise, skip to bottom to the words in blue. Continued....

Personal Study

Many, many time the scripture is quoted to me.
Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill. Matthew 5:17
This is the part I was confused about.  Does this mean we still live by the law? Jesus was explaining the true significance of the moral content of Moses' law and the rest of the Old Testament. Fulfill means the fulfillment in the same sense that prophecy is fulfilled.  Christ was indicating that He is the fulfillment of the law in all it's aspects.  He fulfilled the moral law by keeping it perfectly.  (Something we cannot do).

*Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. -Galatians 6:2

*Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another, for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. -Romans 13:8

Well, what is the law of Christ?  Is it the same law as the old testament?

Insert from Christian Truth Center:

What is the law of Christ

The law of Christ 150x150 What is the law of Christ
the law of Christ
What is the law of Christ? Is there a law of Christ? Many people do not differentiate the law of Christ and other Biblical laws.
The law of Christ is the grace; the New covenant (New Testaments). This law is so much different from all other laws in the Bible. There are only three major laws in the Bible. These are;
  1. The God laws (the Ten Commandments)
  2. The Mosaic law and
  3. The law of Christ.
The old covenant,  the law, is grievous and only leading to damnation not salvation. See effects of the law. So there was need for God to change this old covenant and bring a new one. Jesus Christ was and is the author of the new covenant while the old covenant (the law) came through Moses. 
For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ (John 1:17).

Continued from top....
The explanation I give in my study explains my extreme weariness which also turned into depression.  I had NO CLUE about this so called grace.  I thought we were still living under rules, rules, and more rules.  Slowly I was sinking and the more I sank, the more I felt God disapproved.  God of love?  Ha. I felt like he was shaking His head in great disappointment of my ability to follow all the laws and added man made laws. (Man made laws: Meaning, giving extra rules to people they have to follow in hopes to help them serve God better.)

My point?  When I truly understood the love of Christ and the true sacrifice He did for all mankind, for me, I felt the void filling up with a love and fulfillment I hadn't ever felt in my life.  Almost like the fountains of the deep filling up with joy and then not just bubbling over, but bursting out for everyone to see!  For the first time I understood, I was soooo lost.  Jesus came to save those which were lost.  well, I qualified! 

I remember seeing a picture of Robin Williams about a year ago and seeing a sadness in his eyes that I could completely understand. I know that look in people's eyes. Often, I battled thoughts of suicide.  I just wanted to end the pain.  If I couldn't please God, then why try?  What happens when there is no hope from not knowing Christ? What comes after this life?  What's the point of life?  When Hollywood can't bring the fulfillment you were looking for?  When all the money you could ever want just doesn't fill that void?  It's scary, but just a year ago, exactly 11 months and 2 weeks ago I was there.  I'll never forget.  Only Jesus can fill that void.  I know.  In fact, religion can't fill that void either because I tried it.  I tried being the perfect Christian that followed all the rules and worked hard to get people's approval around me.  I felt that void and had that same emptiness in my eyes.  No one knew I was sinking.... Most people around Robin Williams didn't know.  

Once I finally accepted Christ's FREE GIFT of salvation.  Without condition. Once I discovered I wasn't just following a set of rules to stay saved, the void was gone.  That horrible EMPTY void vanished.  It's much easier to love yourself and more importantly love others when you know God's love.

I cried hearing this song (below) today because it exactly explains the love in my heart, the joy that only Christ was able to give me.  In turn, it's help me to love others more like I never thought I could.  Before, living in the law, I could never say these words.  When I did, it came with a blank expression.  When you understand His amazing love, you get EVERY SINGLE word in this song...

Pointing people to Jesus

From song in video below:
I abandon every distraction
My attention is set on You
My devotion, Jesus my portion
My affection is set on You

I was made to worship
I was made for Your embrace
I was made to worship
I was made to bless Your name

I will bless the Lord at all times x2
I was made to worship
I was made to bless your name
I will shout your praise forever x2
I was made to worship
I was made to bless Your name

Captivated by Your goodness
Overwhelmed by Your majesty
Swept away in Your holy presence
Giving over all of me

My heart and flesh cry out
for You to fill me up
You satisfy me
Fill me with power and truth
Fill me with love from You
You satisfy me

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