Thursday, September 25, 2014

Visitors From Heaven or Hades?

Just when we are looking forward to some amazing events coming up, our van decides to just fall apart.  On Ashley's birthday the van wouldn't start.  I literally have everyone loading up and excited to spend the day at Amazing Jakes.  The van won't even start.  I am sitting there lightly banging my head on the steering wheel with my eyes tearing up because I have to go in and tell Ashley that we are going NOWHERE for her birthday.  Turns out our alternator died and killed our battery on the way down.  On top of that our head gasket is blown, need new spark plugs (not a big deal but the head gasket is) and it's gonna be a lot of money.  Thankfully I had some savings but the head gasket is gonna be huge so that's gonna have to wait.  So basically I'm told I can take my van very short distances only.  Ohhhh man.  Stuff happens and that's why I'm finally starting to understand that it's always good to save for emergencies.  I've been taking a class by Dave Ramsey called Financial Peace University.  So far it's been amazing and now I especially see the need for big emergency money.


That was a few days ago.  Now I'm being told that my van probably won't make it another few months without getting a whole new engine in it.  I can't break down and go find a van where we have to make payments.  I need to save, save, save till this one dies.  We've only been using cash to buy cars for a really long time and I really don't want to get stuck in a payment as that wouldn't be very wise.

I know what I write below might step on some toes of dear friends I love but I just write how I feel.  Personal experience and opinion.

Last week I had a knock on my door from a couple of ladies.  They were very nice and wanted to share the gospel of Jesus with me.  Well, that's good.  I never have that happen so I was open to listen even though I very much have Jesus in my heart.  It was great until they told me that because I believe it's possible to lose my salvation, I'm already going to hell.  Then I can't be saved and they wanted to pray the sinners prayer with me.  I was taken back a bit.  You mean, I'm considered to be on my way to hell even though I've devoted my life to Christ and I believed I'm saved by grace and not by works, all because I'm unsure about eternal security?  Then that leaves about 95% of the world on their way to hell with no hope.  Forget all the Christians that serve Christ with all their hearts.  If they believe it's possible to lose their salvation, they are hopelessly lost.  This is very, very harsh.  She showed me tons and tons of scriptures but none of them straight out said that what they were saying is true.  Nothing. 

Well, this is exactly what I have been studying as of late in scriptures.  I used to believe I could lose my salvation at the drop of a hat.  One mistake and, darn, there goes my salvation again.  I guess I maybe had a Catholic-Christian mentality.  Always have to run back to church and ask for forgiveness and never having an assurance of salvation.  Basically, a life of fear.  In my recent studies I have been surprised to learn it is not at all like that.  We are sinners saved by grace and sustaining grace.  Well, what happens when someone blatantly lives in sin, unrepentant, for years and years on end?  Like someone who lives with their boyfriend, never marries?  Okay, well, I don't know.  I have been studying and studying about it.  Those two ladies told me that no matter what a person does, once they ask Christ into their hearts, they could go on a murder rampage for 30 years or until they die and they are destined to heaven.

After these ladies left, I just felt a heaviness.  They told me it was from God they came since I just happened to be studying about this.  However, I wasn't so sure.  Could it have been a total blow to discourage my studies?  That's exactly what happened.  I was discouraged because where I once had joy in what I had been learning, I was now told that since I doubt eternal security, I'm going to hell.  My gosh.  Well, I can't just buy whatever someone sells me at the door.  I need time to study the truth in the scriptures.  I have not once found what they are saying is true so that must mean I'm doomed.  I'm sure God's grace and mercy doesn't throw people into hell for loving, believing Him, living for Him yet they are just unsure of small parts of doctrine.  Goodness.  

That was about a week ago and talk about total joy ripped from my heart.  I've been really struggling since.  I did do some studying after they left and I can't find any scripture to back it up.  I do believe I would be wrong to believe I keep my salvation by my works.  Yes, I found many, many scriptures that say we cannot trust in keeping our own salvation.  It's completely by grace alone.  I also did some study work about "blotting the name out of the book of life" and was SURPRISED I had believed so wrong about that all my life as well.  So yes, I do my own study work. It's important to know scripture for myself.  But what an extremely discouraging experience to go through.


Leslye said...

Eternal security is everywhere in scripture. Even in the most famous verse in the Bible. John 3:16 for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosever believeth on him should not perish but have everlasting life. Right there God calls it everlasting life. If God gave you a gift and called it everlasting it lasts forever. Its not just going to go away. God does not lie. Plus God is above time. He knows the begining and the ending of this world, and you can be sure that when Jesus died on the cross he knew you and all of the sins you would comit your whole life. That is why God can say things like, and I shall give unto them eternal life....or say that if thou shall confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in thy heart that God hath raised him from the dead thou shalt be saved. Romans 10:9 That is a promise from God. His promises are to be taken seriously. If he wanted anything else from you to give you eternal or everlasting life he would state it in that verse. God does not want to confuse you. There is scripture about people doing many wonderful works and Christ tells them depart from me ye that work iniquity, I never knew you. Forgive me for not having the scripture reference to some of these. I will come back and post them here if you like. Or you can message me on Facebook. We can talk. It is a good thing you are seeking answers. God wants you to know the truth. I am so sorry your van is going out. I will pray for all of this. Try to look at what those ladies told you in a positive way. They want to help you understand this same thing you have been trying to understand all along. Hugs!

Leslye said...

Matthew 7: 21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? 23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Leslye said...

John 10: 27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. 29 My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.

Leslye said...

No man is even able to pluck them out, not even you. Hope these scriptures help you with your study. There are many more, please message me anytime!!

Happy Elf Mom (Christine) said...

Hey. You know I'm not hokey in the spiritual department but let me tell you something. You "happened" to be studying all this for your protection. God knew you were vulnerable in that area and that you would be tested.

I am very sorry to read about your van. I would rather have a car payment than an unsafe vehicle. I know saving is very important and so on, I really do. But your kids come first. And your husband went through a long unemployment bout. OF COURSE you don't have $40,000 all socked away just yet.

And your kids... well... they are missing out on Amazing Jake's and their mom is probably in a huff and nothing is working out well for them, either. It isn't you... they are just having a bad day too.

((hugs)) and prayers!!

Jordan@Me and My 8 said...

James 3:17 "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere."

Col. 3:15 "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful."

One way I always determine whether something is from God or not, is if it brings me peace. If your peace and your joy have been robbed, then I would be fairly certain it's NOT wisdom from Heaven. If the death grips of you won't let go, then it doesn't sound like Christ at all.

I think, being that this is something you're studying, that God just kind of forced the issue and is taking you to a place where you're solid on it. This has also been my experience... believing I was solid on something and then having something come along and pull the rug out from under me. But with time, prayer, and teaching, I always end up right back where I started, but this time with a stubbornness that can not be shaken.

You're in a good place. Keep seeking the Lord on this and allow Him to teach you. But I'll go ahead and say it, these ladies were way wrong, and trusting on their ability to believe rather than what Christ did on the cross and you accepting that.

2 Tim. 2:13 "If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself."

Virginia Revoir said...

What you wrote is very healing. Thank you.

Virginia Revoir said...

You are right. ;) I don't spend that much on vans though. I pay just a few thousand for one. It would be cheaper for me just to buy a new engine for this one. I hate payments.

Marie Martinez said...

I read this and I'm SO glad you chimed in Leslye!!!

Anonymous said...

Here is a good explanation of the Catholic doctrine on once saved, always saved.

Virginia Revoir said...

I appreciate your patience and kind response to me, Leslye. It means a lot.