Don't You Feel Seven Kids is Enough?

I'm in such a weird stage of my life.  I never thought about it coming.  EVER.  I'm 35 and I've been blessed with 7 beautiful, fun, amazing, challenging, heart wrenching, adventurous kids.  One is in heaven, although it's heartbreaking, I'm excited to meet someday.  ;) 

Last week I dismantled the crib for the first time in 14 years.  Not super excited about it.  Why am I feeling that way?  Aren't some parents happy to get out of those diaper and crib stages?  Doesn't it mean less physical slavery work but more drama? (Older kids come with more drama.)  Ha.  I wasn't happy about putting the crib in the garage.  I was sad. I love the little pitter-patter of the feet across the house.  I love the kisses and babbling.  I don't care about all the diaper changes.  I've never had a break so far for 14 years and that's just fine with me.  

On the other side of it, no more babies means less work, less sleepless nights, no strollers, no diapers, no crib, no packing a diaper bag, no nursing, no binkies, no bottles.....

I don't know...... I'm extremely content.  The weirdest thing is before I got pregnant with baby Genesis that we lost, I constantly was setting out 10 dinner plates.  We'd be sitting at the table and I'd look around to see who was missing.  It would dawn on me that we are only a family of nine.  I'm talking about for months I did this.  Once I got pregnant and lost the baby, I've never accidentally done this again. Weird, huh?  My heart hurts thinking about never, ever having a little baby in my tummy again.  Never again experiencing the miracle of birth. I don't mind waking up to those newborn cries a zillion times a night.  I'm so used to it now.  And believe me, it's not baby fever.  I have person fever.  Every single kid I have is so uniquely different that I just love learning about each one of them and I love their differences!  It's so fun to see all the different personalities.
 

 

I'm sure lots of people go through these feelings.  I just don't personally know anyone.  If I express these feelings to people in my life they'd most likely say, "Well, don't you feel seven is enough?"  When did it ever become a number?  They are not a group to me.  I know each and every kid personally.  I make it a point to spend personal time with each one.  And boy, I enjoy it!  Yes, it's sooooo much work.  Yes, housekeeping is a battle for me because it's getting messy as we're cleaning.  Okay, so what?  Who said a perfect house even matters?  Good grief.  I love toys strewn across my house.  It shows we love living.  A perfect house just feels unlived in and kind of empty.  Besides, I have no friends that are perfectionists.  I find that personality a bit annoying.  (Sorry if I offended anyone).   I'm not saying I like it messy but to me there is a balance.  If you randomly show up at my house, it's gonna look lived in. 

When is it time to move forward?  I thought by now it'd be so obvious to me.  People have told me many, many times that you'll always just know when you are done.  Well, good grief, I'm still waiting for that definite feeling.

Was Motherhood Ever in Bondage? The Evil of Margaret Sanger

I watched a short documentary last night with my family about children being a blessing.  One part talks about Margaret Sanger, the evil that just dripped from her lips.  Whether or not you believe you should trust God with how many He gives you, there is never an excuse to kill a baby in the womb.  Ever.  There ARE other ways to prevent pregnancy without the act of murder that does not involve abortion of any kind (including chemical forms of contraceptives).  

"This is the dawn.  Womanhood shakes off it's bondage.  It asserts it's right to be free"

"The most immoral practice of the day is breeding too many children."

"The most serious evil of our times is that of encouraging the breeding into the world of large families."

"The most merciful thing that a family does to one of its infant members is to kill it."

1.5 million babies are surgically aborted each year

Sadly, as a result of the abortifacient effects of the pill and other "contraceptives," an additional 8-12 million babies are chemically aborted each year in the US alone. 

Click HERE to read The Truth About Birth Control

It breaks my heart to know I was on the pill (even though it was only for a couple of years) and I didn't know I could still get pregnant.  I had no idea the pill would cause my body to reject the baby and get rid of it.  Ack.  I hate thinking about it.  I haven't touched the pill since I found out about it in 2002.  

Newborn Caleb (2009)

Since finding out about the pill I started practicing a loose form of Natural Family Planning, yes, I've had a few "surprises".  So what?  What incredible blessings they have been to my life.  So did NFP work for me?  Yes, because I could easily get pregnant every year since nursing doesn't prevent ovulation.  I calculated it and I'd have at least 12-13 by now.  I only have 6.  Some believe you should trust God with how many children you have, some don't.  I guess that is something each person needs to pray about and come to their own conclusion.  Either way never involves murder though.

My sixth (Caleb)

Ever since I got pregnant with my 6th (in 2008) I have been attacked mercilessly.  Within a week of finding out I was pregnant I had attacks that blew me away.  Online and even in my personal email box.  A friend even spread lies for everyone to see.  They later said they didn't know the details, but just had some "assumptions" about our life.  It still hurt very bad and bad enough that we left out of state for a week to get away from it.  You can imagine how scared I was to share when I became pregnant with my 7th in 2011.  I had miscalculated my ovulation and it had been a year and a half since my last baby.  I was surprised but yet again I had the attitude and understanding that children are a gift.  I was still terrified to share knowing that with each one I had would come with more persecution from every side.  Online and in my personal life and surprisingly even from Christian folk from church.

8 months pregnant with
baby #7 (Juliet)

This whole pregnancy I've received about 80% negative from people. This time I'm putting my foot down.  I'm not gonna allow myself to be bullied any longer.  I'm not gonna allow my heart to be sad nor will I let anyone make me feel ashamed.  Sure, I worry about what people think.  Don't we all?  I have to be stronger is standing up for what is holy and righteous.  Even Christians attacking large families is wrong and completely unbiblical.  I've been cornered (literally) with accusations, assumptions, and anger from people.  This precious child in my womb is a gift from God and I won't allow her to come into this world wrapped in shame and negativity from others.  If you don't want kids, that is your life and no one is forcing you to have any.  Welcome to the land of the free.  Are you able to murder your own babies here?  Yes, and the government and even your friends will back you up.  But don't attack those that choose to cherish life.  Enough with all the Save the Whales and Hug a Tree.  Those are nice but what about Protect Human Life?  I've yet to see a film like that in the theaters.  If it seems I am upset in writing this post, I am.  This world is so backwards in how it thinks and I am tired of seeing what is pure and clean be so attacked.

Finding Out the Sex of Our 7th Baby...

Today we took all my little family with us to my 20 week ultrasound.  Actually, I was planning on going but my husband was sad when he came home from work and said he really wanted to go with me.  So, I had 30 minutes notice to get me and our 6 kids ready as fast as possible.  They boys looked great and the girls too with their bows.  :D

I can't believe I could pull it off to get everyone out the door and looking decent.  Its a really far drive but we got there just in time.  There are never one to keep anyone waiting so we went straight back to the comfortable ultrasound room.  All the kids fit on the couch and Charles stood. They were super quiet and only talked in whispers.  I was really proud of all of them sitting still and being quiet so the technician could do her job.

As soon as she put the "Magical Wand" on my belly she knew it was a girl!  Yay!  All the kids loudly whispered "YESSS!" Charles was so happy too.  Baby is totally healthy and we are even more excited that we can get things ready for her.  The Dr said her legs are measuring long.  I was surprised when it was all done that they gave me a DVD of the ultrasound. I could go home and watch it again!  When I went home I cried as I watched it again.  They are such miracles.  

The doctor again talked to me about birth control and what we are planning.  I told her I HATE the thought of doing anything permanent and asked if any new things have come out that won't abort any babies.  She said no and knew exactly what I was talking about.  She tried to talk to me about The Ring but I asked the question "I know it stops ovulation some of the time, but does it just abort the baby if ovulation occurs and I get pregnant?"  Yes.  So now she can see my dilemma.  I don't want to get pregnant right away but I hate permanency.  She told that in the ultrasound room she could see that my husband and I DO NOT look ready to make anything permanent.  She said only do that if you are 100% sure because there is no going back.  So, of course I go back and forth about what to do.

I really don't feel that God forces children on anyone. Yes, they are a blessing.  However, nowhere that I can see in the bible does God say you must allow them to come as they may.  I'm sure in the olden days they had their methods.  Then I hear some people quote the scripture about God killing the man that did not impregnate the woman. However, I believe he was killed because he directly disobeyed God and what He commanded.  I love having children because I truly enjoy them, not because I fear God and what He might do if I track my ovulation.  Just my personal thoughts on the matter.  :) Would love to hear your view.  

By the way, guess who has some really adorable Christian cards that gave me a chuckle?  Seeds of Faith has some really great ones if you'd like to check them out.  25% of the profits from their cards go to helping people, domestically and internationally, through various ministries.  How cool is that?

Is Michelle Duggar Trusting God or Just Being Selfish?

Ever since the news came out about the Duggars losing their 20th child there have been some big online debates.  Some are sad for them, angry at them, don't give a crud, can relate, or are quick to judge and want everyone to know.  

I know everyone is entitled to their opinion.  This is America, right?  What happens when you get a lot of people who believe their way is right and that's that?  No arguing with them.  If you disagree with them they'll make fun of you, mock you, swear at you, insult you.  What causes this kind of anger in people over just a disagreement in beliefs?

I'm so glad I don't live in a country where how many kids I have is forced on me.  Whether I want one kid or 20, that is my business.  Not anyone else's.  Whether a doctor tells me it's healthy for me to have another one or not, that's my business.  Whether people think we make enough money or not, well, that's also our business.  Just as you have your own.  Welcome to America.  

Why is there such an anger towards large families these days?  People act like this is a new thing. Do people remember life before birth control pills?  My grandma remembers.  She had 9 kids and my husband's grandmother had 10.  She gave birth to her last child at the age of 45.  Having your last child at this age was common.  Yet, people are attacking Michelle Duggar for being pregnant at the age of 45.  Why?  Is it not Michelle's body as it was yours when you got your tubes tied?  Did the doctor force you to do that?  No, you were given a choice.  I think people who have such a dislike towards large families wouldn't of liked living in the days before birth control or the understanding of Natural Family Planning.

"Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward." Psalm 127:3

Remember when having kids was considered a blessing from God?  I don't know if maybe after reading the bible several times through I somehow skipped any scripture on limits but please correct me if I'm wrong.  Where in the bible does God give limits?  I know the world can give TONS of worldly advice on the matter.  Money, doctors, health, material things, age.  I'm still waiting, and have been for a long time, for someone to point out the only opinion that matters to me and that's from the Word of God that there is a limit.

My pastor said it well.  He said, "People who treasure things above children just can't understand how someone who puts children above things can enjoy it so much.  They just don't get it.  Your children are your treasures.  Not material things." 

Recently, I heard the argument that it's not fair to the siblings. That EVERY SINGLE person they've met from a large family hated growing up in a large family.  That they had to be the mom and ended up not wanting to have kids when they are older.  Really?  So those 2 people they met are now a blanket for all large families?  Sure you have the parents that try to turn their kids into their own personal slaves but I've seen this in small families as well.  I've even seen this from families with only 2 kids.  Even if you took a poll and found 10 people from large families to say they hated being in one, you cannot throw the blanket over millions that are in one.  My husband's family LOVE being apart of a large family and are all really close.

Living your life according to scriptures will always, always bring hatred from the world.  I've learned that when the world agrees with my way of living, I might need to reexamine my life according the scripture.  Usually, when you are living for Christ (not just saying it but living it), you will get backlash from the world.  Well, smile, because that usually means you're doing something right.  Jesus died on the cross with the world spitting on Him, mocking, cursing, and laughing at him. 

Another argument people use is that large families make their kids work too hard.  Really?  Let's look back and see how kids worked around In the late 1700's and early 1800's.  An article called History of Child Labor points out that a lot of children either worked on farms or in factories for very long hours every day.  Over the years it seems to have turned into the other extreme.  Kids shouldn't have chores, teachers blamed for bad grades, and never even think about asking the older ones to keep an eye out for the little ones while mommy works on some paperwork or makes some phone calls. That is child abuse these days.  Well, the only problem with that is now employers are saying that kids are coming to work expecting an easy day, minimal effort, late to work, early to leave, and is expecting high pay. Whatever happened to a balance?  There is nothing wrong with expecting kids to have some responsibility around the house and even learn some about caring for others.  

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Regardless with what you believe, I think we should all have respect for each other.  I disagree with women using chemical birth control but I don't write hate notes on their page, send them mocking emails, or laugh at them for what I think is a lack of knowledge.  Facebook, TLC, and Saturday Night Live isn't my idea of research. The best thing any of us can do is our own bible study on issues and our own health studies.  We have to come to our own conclusions for ourselves and for our family and bathed in prayer.   In writing this, I am just hoping someone, anyone, will just understand that the best way to win someone over is using some respect and understand that not every person will agree or think exactly alike.

Can Having Many Children Mean Better Health Overall?

I've been thinking about the this subject for awhile.  I mean, over the last decade at least.  I used to be in a mommy's group where it was pretty popular to wait to try for kids until the late 30's.  After listening to their reasoning, I pretty much got the idea that they just wanted to live life first and then start thinking about kids.  It made me sad to watch them try and try to have kids and eventually hope for at least one before it was too late.  Then I saw some of them have to spend thousands of dollars to try and get pregnant.  Another lady had to have donated eggs because hers were too old.  I mean, this was actually a pretty common problem among women I have met that waited so long.  Now, why is it that some women will have no problem having kids at the age of 40 and then others, who waited so long, have eggs that are just too old at the age of 37?  I know it can vary from person to person but I think it's interesting that a majority of women I met fell in these two categories:

*Women having children young:
Had little problems with getting pregnant and bearing children even up to the age of 45.  Even good recovery.


*Women waiting till just before 40:
Have trouble getting pregnant, eggs too old, having to implant, trouble carrying full term, harder recoveries.

Of course there are always the exceptions.  Just seems INTERESTING.  I mean if anything, the energy in moms of many are AMAZING.

How is it that someone can have baby after baby after baby and be so incredibly healthy?  Wouldn't it completely wear the body down?  I used to envision a broken body where she was all creaky and could barely get around.  No so.  I meet these moms of large families and it's like they are in their 20's.  Then I often meet moms in their 40's just starting to raise little ones for the first time and they seem so worn out physically and with little patience (exceptions of course).  Some would argue that having kids wear you down because of stress.  Well, I look at it from a different perspective.  When I got married I was an extremely immature, selfish little girl who needed to die to her flesh.  Badly.  Motherhood will do that.  It's amazing the patience skills you get when you have to clean up an entire room of spilled chocolate powder.  Waking up every two hours in the night will make you die to your flesh.  Having to change diapers for 10 years straight will eventually get you to stop thinking about all those diapers you have to change and instead how you get 5 minutes uninterrupted of tickling and giving kisses to baby on the changing table.  I am never in any hurry to potty train my kids because I'm just so used to changing diapers and really enjoy their littleness.  Having a lot of kids just did that for me.

I don't know why I constantly watch out for stuff like this but I do.  I feel like having children really, really is a blessing from God in more ways than one. Mentally, physically, and emotionally.  Even spiritually.  Trust me, kids bring me to my knees before the thrown. Keeps my heart right before God.

I found this interesting article from a blog that caused a lot of debate.
Having Many Children is Healthier

What do you think?

When Critics Are At Their Worst

Yesterday at church Pastor Dodd preached on fear.  Towards the end of it he asked if people wanted to come down to pray about it.  I asked myself, "Do I have fear?  What am I fearful of?"  Then I realized I do have one.  The worry of what family or friends would say if I ever had another child.  I used to think I was alone in that but after talking with my group on Facebook I realized that it's a common fear.  Although there are those that are encouraging, the critics can be very loud.

Back when I discovered the truth about birth control pills, it radically changed my way of thinking.  I no longer could just take one pill a day to keep a baby away.  So what to do then?  I desperately searched every method.  Just when I thought one was safe or looked into someone's suggestion, I would find out that it also was another method of abortion.  TRUST me, I searched.  So many just trust whatever their doctor says without truly finding out for themselves.  What do you do when there are no pills (even implantations) of any sort that will not abort babies?  You use NFP (Natural Family Planning).

Because I had changed my method I also needed to change my heart.  I wasn't someone that considered having a large family.  The pressure from everywhere was to get my tubes tied, get my tubes tied, get my tubes tied..... I didn't want to do that because 70% or more of people who I've talked to always regretted it later.  Not only that, I felt like I was cutting God off from having any say.  Well, I needed a change in my heart.  I prayed and asked God to help take the fear away of not being a good enough mother. Could I handle more?  What would people say if and when I did get pregnant?  What about finances?  Although I have not tried to get pregnant (trust me I could have a baby every nine months), I've had 3 kids since using that method in the last 8 years.  EVERY SINGLE ONE is a joy to my soul.  I can't imagine what I would have missed out on.  The work God has done in my heart is a miracle.

Baby Caleb was born in 2009

The fear was not so much "How many kids will I end up having using that method?"  It was the critics.  Wherever we go in public, or people we know, what will they say?  The last baby I had brought more critics that I ever could imagine.  The stress was unbelievable.  By far that was the hardest pregnancy I ever endured because of the rejection.  Well, precious Caleb is now two years old and I don't have a baby on the way.  At times I have dreaded facing the critics again if I were to find out I were having another.  Could I handle it?  I've prayed about it, talked with mentors about it.  Finally I realized something.....

When the critics are at their worst,  the only one I need to be

worrying about pleasing is God. Obeying Him is what matters

most. Let God be true and every man a liar.



Have you ever had to face this fear?  How have you handled your critics?

This story really touched my heart

********
Also, here is a sweet post I read today:


Which Would I Choose to be Without?

Have You Ever Heard Michelle Duggar's Testimony?

I never have!  I'm seen a lot of clips of her family but never heard how she came to know Christ.

Last night I ran into this video on Youtube and was surprised to see Michelle Duggar at a speech giving her testimony.  I've always wanted to hear her testimony.  She takes you on her journey from growing up, to asking Jesus in her heart, meeting Jim Duggar, miscarrying her child after Josh, and trusting in God about having a large family.  She shares scriptures that God spoke to her and also how she prayed that God would give her a love for children.  They only wanted 2, maybe 3 kids.  Whoa!  Big difference from what they have now.  But a lot of things she says really hit home in my heart so I would love to share the video with you.

The Truth About Birth Control

Warning: Please do not continue to read if this is not a subject you like to talk about.  Many women get offended about this.  I've had some people who are curious about it and so I'm just reporting the facts.  I know I just talked about birth control pills the other day jokingly in my post but this is something that I found out about 7 years ago.

If you want to know..... read on.

Several years ago I was talking to my sister-in-law about the pill in general.  She told me that she doesn't believe in it but didn't want to tell me why.  I'm a super curious person so I just had to know.  She warned me that once she told me, it could change my beliefs about it so I had to be sure I wanted to know.  OF COURSE I want to know.  Basically, chemicals like the pill, IUD, Depo-Provera cause abortions really early on in the pregnancy.  If you are like me and you believe life begans at conceptions then this can really hurt your conscience.  My sister-in-law gave me the actual medical report on it. I read it completely and I was extremely shocked to say the least.  I then asked my doctor, and I really had to probe her, and she confirmed it was true.  I have never touched it since.

Well, I'm scared to just have one baby after another even though I believe the bible that children are an inheritance from the Lord.  I'm a chicken pants.  If I were a super mommy, believe me, I would have 20 kids.  I love them like crazy.  Nothing, nothing in this world could replace the treasures God gave me.  Not a career....nothing.  Having said that, I had 3 boys at the time and I was quite hesitant about trying for a girl.  Well now that I no longer believed in the pill, I started to look for other forms of birth control.  The older pills that were more powerful allowed you to ovulate up to 10% of the time.  They rid of that because it was too harmful to women.  The new mini pill that is popular allows you to ovulate 50% of the time but aborts baby early on so you don't carry baby.  Yikes!  So I began to look for other ways. This is what I found:

Breakthrough Ovulation Estimates for other "Birth Control" Methods:

1) Norplant has breakthrough ovulation 50-65% of the time.

2) Depo-Provera has breakthrough ovulation 40-60% of the time.

3) The IUD has breakthrough ovulation 100% of the time. (What???  Wow!)

4) With over 17 million American women using the Pill and other chemical abortifacients, it is estimated that breakthough ovulation and pregnany occurs so often . . . that between 7 to 12 million newly conceived children are killed by chemical abortions in the womb each year. And most of these women never even knew they were pregnant.

You can read more at this Pro Life website for tons of information.  So, finding this out and not really knowing what I was going to do, I became pregnant with baby number 4.  Oh man, she is so cute.  Then baby number 5 and 6.  They are so cute and such blessings from God!  I can't imagine them not being here.  There are no regrets there.  But I can tell you that although it kind of frustrated me having this information in my hands, I know it's only right to pass the information along.  I hate the idea that Satan has this kind of stronghold in our lives and even good Christians are somehow involved unintentionally.  It's not like they post it boldly in waiting rooms of pharmacies. It's not even in small print.  Just brushed under the rug.  It hurts to know I took the pill for the first few years of my marriage.  :(

From Birth Control Advocates

Lawyers from organizations that promote abortion have admitted in print and in legal briefs that these products cause abortions. A Tulane Law School Professor wrote:

...nearly all birth control devices, except the diaphragm and the condom, operate between the time of conception and implantation... (Emphasis added)

Attorney Frank Sussman argued in the U.S. Supreme Court:

...IUDs [and] low dose birth control pills...act as abortifacients

If you read this and you are now mad....

I WARNED YOU

The Pill

I found a great article about having children and what this means personally to my life. To each of us we hold our own beliefs in this regard. Over the years I have found myself changing with my views about birth control. It's not that I don't believe in a form of birth control, I just don't believe in "The Pill", or any type of it put in my body for that matter. I'm not the type that has a kid once a year, but I admire those who do. Those who let God control how many children they have just like the bible times. Those who have a quiver full. That's amazing. Anyhow, if this has been something on your mind, you might find this article very encouraging. I know I did. Thank you Kristin for the article.

Why Some Evangelicals are Throwing Out Birth Control

(And my self-centeredness along with it.)

Stop Having Children!

Mr. Phillips, Stop Having Children!

We receive thousands of pieces of mail at the Vision Forum. Many are encouraging. Some are confrontational. This letter recently arrived on my desk.

[Mr. Phillips] Your poor wife must be sick of popping out kids? Stop overpopulation! Use birthcontrol for (expletive deleted)! Pitiful. Stop adding “freaks” to our society. Abstain. God would want you to (sic). ___.

Dear _, God bless you. This is Doug’s “poor” wife here writing to assure you that “popping out” kids, though challenging, is among the most glorious gifts that the Lord bestows upon a redeemed woman. Prolific mothers are not “baby machines” (as both Margaret Sanger and some very confused professing Christians), but blessed vessels of life from which the Lord brings eternal souls into this earth and fulfills his own command that man “be fruitful and multiply.”

For a Christian, having babies is not about birthing pains, changing diapers or baking cookies(though it includes all of these). Having babies is about transforming the world forever. This investment will last, not for thirty years, not for my lifetime, but f-o-r-e-v-e-r. The investment is realized on earth and pays dividends for eternity. On earth, we pray that these children will advance the very kingdom of God. But in heaven, the souls of every redeemed child will stand with me throughout eternity before the Lord Jesus. The pressures of today (be they financial, physical, etc.)that taunt Christians to self-consciously distort God’s fruitful purpose for the womb, and to separate life from love, will seem infinitesimally small as we look back upon this whisper of a life with our children beside us in eternity.

My children can have more far reaching implications for society and posterity than anything else I can do. Having babies and training children for Jesus Christ means my life work will last forever. I hurt for you and those sad, misguided souls who would think of prolific motherhood as reducing women to the status of “baby machine.” I refuse to accept the minimizing, selfish, materialistic, and limited vision of womanhood dispensed by the apostles of modernity and relevancy in this generation. My dream is far greater. I reject the options which the world offers. I want something bigger.

Though I have been blessed with seven children who are the delight of my soul, Doug and I fervently pray for more. While I am not sure what you mean by “freaks,” I can assure you it is my goal to populate the world with “fools for Christ” who view children as a blessing, the womb as sacred, and the calling of helpmeet and mother as holy before our Lord Jesus.

I understand that you and I disagree on these points, but I want to let you know that I am glad that your mother gave you life. I don’t know you, but I would never wish that you were not born, nor would I presume that the world would be a better place without you. In fact, I would be happy if perhaps someday we can meet unified in Christ and as friends. And yes, with more babies on our laps.

Sincerely Yours, Beall Phillip

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