The Dangers of Roblox - Updated

Updated in red:

I have carefully, or so I thought, allowed some gaming back into the house but not till after certain rules are followed. No gaming before noon and only after we've had bible study.

With Roblox being a fun building game I figured it was all about that and safe for kids. However, the other day I saw my 12 year old pacing in the living room and very upset. I asked him what was wrong and he was afraid to tell me. I asked him to tell me and I wouldn't be mad. He then hesitantly told me that he went into another person's world that someone created and saw full pornography. I guess on Roblox people can upload their own photos.  Bad idea on Roblox's part for sure.  I had to ban them from a creative game they love as a result.
 

As much as I try to protect them with filters on the computers, everywhere I turn there seems to be this kind of garbage. 
 

I don't care what anyone says. Pornography is a sin and it destroys families and is never satisfied. Satan knows that if he can plant a seed in a young mind he can possibly hook them for life. Sin is progressive and is never satisfying. Pornography IS adultery. Hollywood may try to shrug it off as harmless but remember that Hollywood has frogged many a generations. Hollywood mocks clean young men and woman by making movies like The 40 Year Old Virgin. Like its unheard of and weird. They make marriage look cold and uninviting. They make fornication and adultery look exciting. Hollywood mocks Jesus and the Bible. So remember, just because Hollywood says pornography is normal, remember what it's doing to young men and families. Basically, live your life opposite of Hollywood.  Your life is not over if you decide you want to get married, live clean, have children. Or even if you want to wait and not have set before marriage!

As of now Roblox is banned on our computers. A good alternative so far I believe is Minecraft and family friendly. ;)

 

 

Update: I've had some discussions on Instagram when this was posted.  If you would like to read, my screen name is MeetVirginias7 and you can look for the Roblox picture I posted above.  Several Roblox players were trying to tell me it's not Roblox's fault that people do this and I should allow my kids to play anyway.  That they'd be missing a great opportunity.  They are completely missing my point.  It's good that Roblox looks for people misusing the game and bans them but my son still saw the bad picture.  You can't erase in his mind what he saw.  He is only 12 and I don't know how quickly he'll forget that image.  Even if there is only a 5% chance he could run into another bad picture, that is not a risk I want to take.  :P  Anyway, can read more of the discussion on Instagram.  :D

 

 

Making Critical Changes in the Home

Recently I was talking to my pastor about the changes we've made in the family, the things God has done in us. It's amazing how just a few changes can make such a huge difference in such a short amount of time.  Sometimes we might think a small change won't matter.  Well, at least I've thought that!

Some people thought maybe we had gotten rid of some extras in our life for various reasons.  Here was our day before. 

"Okay kids, it's time to do our chores and homeschool."

"Ohhhhhhh, but I wanted to play a game first"

"No, we always do work first before play, you know that."

(Later....)

"Okay, well, it's time to get ready for church."

"Really?  Again?  Didn't we just go recently?"

Sigh.

The simple solution after much wrangling and arguing-  I pulled the plug.  Okay, if we can't control our lives by putting God first, work second, and entertainment dead last, then it's gone.  Literally, we pulled the plug on electronics.  No more expensive game systems and no more internet.  Let's see the difference.

"Okay kids, it's time to do our chores and homeschool."

"Already did it, mom."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and I'm already working on my chore cards."

"Wow, that's awesome.  Well, let's go ahead and start our daily bible study while it's still morning."

"Okay, I'll go get the bibles!"

I'm not kidding!  The days are completely opposite from what they were before.  Am I tempted to turn the internet back on?  No way, says the happy mama!  Yesterday I wanted to get the back yard cleaned up for our thanksgiving guest and the kids wanted to pitch in.  It's a bit different asking kids to get involved when they aren't sucked in to the I.V. lines of entertainment.

 

Kids' art wall



The kids have been excited to go to church and they have really been reaching out and making friends.  I know it's hard for families to invite over large families and it can even be intimidating.  We started inviting families over our house instead on Sundays to practice hospitality and making new friends!  The kids have especially been excited to meet new kids.  The only game system we have is an old, old Super Nintendo the kids play on here and there when they are done with their work.  It's not a very addicting system. Tee hee...  Charles and I sit and challenge each other on Tetris every now and then. 

I was scared to make such a big step but it's exciting!  It's such a blessing when I check in on Chaz late at night and he's studying his bible or excited to hear a kid practicing a character quality when no ones looking. 

Comparing Ourselves to Others

What a wonderful weekend it was!  My husband's family decided to just celebrate all the kid birthdays in one day so we sang to eight kids.  Everyone swam and I forgot my camera.  Boo hoo!  It takes a lot to get seven kids ready to go anywhere but is even more work when they are going for a swim.  I asked them if they would want to use their birthday money to each buy a Nintendo DSi XL and they quickly said yes.  I was excited because Mario is my favorite game and I was hoping I could sneak on it every now and then.  Ohhhh, my thumbs are sore right now.  You know, my husband first met me when I was on the floor playing Mario on my Nintendo.  He thought I was 15 but I was actually 18.  Ha ha.

One thing I've been working on is not talking on the phone so much when my husband is home.  I love talking to my friends and family but I can see how it's rude when I am doing it so much when he is home.  I've been around other people when they are constantly on the phone with others rather than telling them they'll talk to them later after they are done visiting.  It can be excessive and kinda rude.  Also, I've been really working on my kids about interrupting when mommy is on the phone unless it's an emergency.  When someone calls me to talk to me, they don't want to hear me constantly responding to the kids about something.  The kids know that mommy isn't happy when she gets off if she kept getting interrupted.  They know they'll get assigned extra chores.  By the way, that has really worked with the kids.  I have extra chores written down on a list for them to pick from if needed.  My kids know that if it's really, really important they can interrupt me, like if a kid is picking on them or someone is hurt.  That's totally different.  However, Caleb is way too little to understand.  He's my little two and a half year old stinker.  In fact, I'm usually following him around because he can cause trouble in 2.5 seconds...on a slow day.

Last nights sermon at church was amazing!  I took notes on my iPad and I'm so glad I did because it is something I'd like to refer to every now and then.  The pastor that spoke talked about comparing ourselves to others.  Just because we are called to do something doesn't mean no one else will do it better than us.  We do it because are called to.  We don't have to always look around us to see who is acting worse than us and pointing fingers.  We are held accountable for ourselves and not according to someone else.  I guess it's easier sometimes to try to make ourselves feel better by pointing out other people's mistakes and sins.  Here is where it hit me personally.  Sometimes I get comments from others that question how I raise my kids or how well I am feeding my kids.  It's not that they spend time in my house or see me when I feed my kids.  They just make assumptions for the little bit of time they are around me.  Constant questioning or finger pointing can make me feel bad like I have no right to be raising these kids.  However, God sees what I do at home with them and in reality, that's what matters.  My husband sees, that's what matters.  I don't have to compare myself to others.  Of course someone might clean better, cook better, blog better, write better, homeschool better, do their hair better.  All that doesn't matter.  The only reason we should look to others is for inspiration.  It was an awesome sermon.  ;)

Housewife Dilemmas: When Kids are Away

Today my boys are at an all day birthday party at a game place so there are only my two girls and baby Caleb at home.  So many ideas run through my head of what to do to fill in that time.

Should I clean?  As much as I've decluttered the kids just seem to have messy as their middle name.  So many remind me that I have little ones and I will have to still constantly train.  However, I expect my 10 and 11 year old to start showing me what they've learned.  Have they?  Noooo, they've just gotten really good at doing their chores when it's chore time.  Well, that leaves a lot of time before next chore time they can make a mess.  Is this normal?  I don't know.  I will not and refuse to act like a perfectionist mom because that's not who I am and I've come to the realization that I don't ever want to be like that.  However, I don't want to raise my kids up as pigs lest their future spouses hunt me down.

Should I nap?  I haven't been sleeping well AT ALL and now that baby Juliet in my tummy is reaching inside my rib cage, I'm always feeling uncomfortable.  At least most of the time.  Sitting in church is the most uncomfortable because I have to sit for so long and I feel bruised by the time it's over.  Juliet is so gentle in my tummy so it's not like she bruises me with kicking or anything.  It's just she's discovered her new found space that's much higher and she's loving the extra room.  I'm only 30 weeks along so I'm wondering how much more painful it's gonna get.  Also, at night I've been throwing up acid and then inhaling it in my sleep.  I'll wake up and have to run for the TUMS.  I wake up about once every 1-2 hours so sleep is something I'm longing for.  However, and I'm not joking when I say this, I feel like it's great training for having to get up in the middle of the night to feed a newborn.

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Should I read and feed my soul?  Right now I am washing clothes and have been reading several books on my iPad Kindle.  <--- This has been my favorite right now because it's really nourishing to my wounded self esteem.  I haven't felt like the best housewife in the world lately but that's mostly because I've gotten behind greatly on laundry and on my chores.  I truly, truly put my focus on educating my kids and sometimes I don't get everything done around the house.  There is not a lot of support for stay at home or homeschooling moms so often we have to go online or read books to receive encouragement.  I have so many friends that are against blogging and Facebook.  I say, "Are you serious?  That IS where I get 98% of encouragement for homeschooling and being a homemaker."  Kinda sad but true. We mommies need to stick together.

Once we are done schooling and with chores we usually allow neighbor kids to flood into our house.  Kids LOVE coming to my house because we have 5 computers they can game on, trampoline out back, about 75 costumes to dress up in, lots of toys, bikes, skateboards, skates, and they looove playing on my iPad.  There are kids of every age up to age 11 here so there is always someone to play with.  As long as they are around my kids age and they are respectful they are welcome here.  I only have six kids of my own but often I have an average of 10 kids running around.  I even got them set up on Skype so their moms can get a hold of them and see what they are up to anytime with video chat.  Also, they use Skype at their house to send me a video chat asking if they can come over.  :)

I settled on reading and feeding my soul.  I rarely have time to read so I'm gonna take it.   Of course I always HAVE to be doing something productive so I'm washing clothes also.  I can never get myself to waste time on fiction books unless it's Janette Oke otherwise it's usually books that encourage like Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe, Simply Homeschool: Having Less Clutter and More Joy in Your Homeschool, or from other blogging mammas. :)  

Changing My Kids Focus

Today is day 6 in my 31 Days to Clean.  It talked about a list to make each day of 6 items in priority order.  Every night before bed write down the top six things, in order, that you need to accomplish the next day (no more than six). Then, go systematically through the list, completing the tasks in order, crossing out each thing as you go.  At first I wasn't too excited about it till I read this STORY.  Then I read this part of the story and it made a lot of sense.


"Because we are a pleasure seeking species. If something feels good, looks good and tastes good, the average person will likely abandon what's right or they 'forget' what would get them the most or what would be the best for them and others in the long run.  All for even the most fleeting instantaneous little pleasure..."

Often I would go about my day and just try to remember what needed to be done.  Almost always I forget something important.  Making a list of 6 things that need to be done in order takes that pressure off my mind.  31 Day to Clean gave me a pretty big task to do today but because I already did a lot of decluttering, it won't take nearly as long.  :)

For Christmas my kids got a new chess board and a pretty cool one too with storage underneath.  We've been keeping it on our tall table up away from little fingers that would get into it.  I love the idea of that being the "chess station" as we always keep it set up.  Next school year we are going to have the boys take a chess class.  It's a school only for homeschooled kids and they go only once a week.  You can pick their classes so that will be one of them and another will be learning instruments.  I really want them to learn music more than sports or at least put it as a priority over it.  If they want to take up a sport though that's cool with me.  Since getting rid of video games, there has been a huuuge behavior difference in my kids.  

I love it when the kids play chess and have really been encouraging them to ride their bikes, play outside, and be creative.  Last night the kids made a play for Charles and I and we really enjoyed it!  For Christmas this year we had a theme and even my mother-in-law was in on it.  No video games.  We just wanted to buy them either costumes for playing around the house, stuff for physical activity, which is why we bought scooters and bikes, and barbie dolls and doll house for the girls.  Seeing my kids be creative and playing in all parts of the house make me happy rather than them all crowding around a game system. I know it made life easier for me but I knew it wasn't good for them.  Of course there is nothing wrong with game systems, it's just they played or thought about it all the time.  It just got too crazy.

In the next couple of months we will be buying at least 3 more laptops for our home so we don't have to share so many computers for homeschooling.  Little Ashley is only 4 but she insists on "homeschooling" on my iPad.  There are some really neat apps on there all about preschool and learning so she has lots of fun with that. Baby Caleb will even climb up next to her and sit with her.  He sings his ABC's on his own, just not really clear.  How cuuuute!

Why Game Systems Don't Last Long In Our House

Our Craigslist picture

Yesterday I was super busy getting our Xbox 360 Kinect ready to sell.  We had gotten rid of video games in the past but as time went on we had thought we'd give the a try again.  I regretted it almost immediately when we bought this system.  Before we got it, we were out doing a lot of adventures, homeschooling was much easier, getting them to do their chores wasn't so hard, and they got along better.  I hated all the negative changes and started to pray about how to fix it.  My family was just way too game crazy to easily get rid of it.  I started praying that God would just move on Charles' heart about it rather than me nag him.  Nagging never works and only drives guys crazy.  Not only that but I hated the one eyed TV sitting right in our living room.  It didn't stream TV but it just felt like it was the focus of the whole room.  Last week, 7 months from the time we bought it, Charles talked to me about getting rid of the system.  Whoa, really?  I couldn't believe it.  He loved it just as much as everyone else.  I wasn't gonna play around with that decision so I immediately posted it up on Craigslist and got a buyer for $400.  We sold the system with 30 games and lots of accessories.  It's gone and I feel free.  What surprised me more was the kids reaction to us selling it.  No one had a bad attitude about it at all and we immediately saw a positive chance in their behavior.  They were playing together again, being creative, riding bikes outside.

Almost as soon as the buyers came over our house I had to lay down from another massive headache.  I was so frustrated because I hate having to lay around in the middle of the day and do nothing.  I was excited about finishing up my Declutter One Room a Day project.  After my husband gave me some Tylenol, an hour later I was back on my feet and got right to work on the kitchen.  I took lots of stuff out of the cupboards and put in a donation bin.  Got rid of the all the miscellaneous donation bags that I had on the floor from working in other rooms.  It just got so late by the time I was finished I couldn't really do the extra work I wanted to do.  I still would like to wash down the cupboards and clean out the fridge but that's not so much my worry right now since it's about decluttering.  I did that so I went to bed happy knowing my cupboards weren't so full of unnecessary clutter.

Boys being boys and outside

I still have the bathrooms to declutter (under the sinks and reorganizing), the office, and then going to all the kids clothes to get rid of the excess.  I'm so close to finishing.  Waking up in the morning to a clean house has meant so much to me.  It's so easy to keep clean I'm crying as I type this.  I hated that my life was so centered around cleaning. Why did we need so much stuff?  Why wasn't I taking out the old as the new was brought it over the years?  It was like one day I woke up (two Saturdays ago) and saw how much stuff there really was.  The house wasn't dirty, just over cluttered and I was the one paying the price for it.  I was the one cleaning and cleaning every day to keep things put away.  Now, I can straighten up the whole house in a half hour.  OH MY GOSH.  That...is....wonderful.