Once Step Closer to Moving Forward- Leaving the Bullies in the Past

My boys recently went on a church teen cabin trip out of town.  I insisted they go so they can get last year's horrible camping trip out of their memory.  

Worst Camping Trip Ever

The one they went to last time was unbelievable. Basically they came home with broken spirits.  They went from loving camping to hating it and not wanting to ever go again.  Bullies were running rampant and nothing was done about it.  I'll never forget their faces when they came back home. Literally, you could feel the sadness in my boys for an entire month after that trip.  It was like a heavy depression was in the house.  My boys shared with me they felt unprotected, hurt, taken advantage of.  Worst of all, they felt the leaders protected the bullies.  Right then and there I said never again.  As long as it is in my ability as a parent, I will never allow bullies to get away with hurting others around me.  I told my boys I would never make them go back any situation like that again.  And they haven't.  

Teen praying before they head to camp

This time, I had found a new Christian camping trip.  I had gotten to know the leaders and these teens for about 9 months.  I was pretty confident in watching them that all the kids had respect for one another and there really was NO bullying allowed.  I was so grateful the leaders made sure it was a peaceful environment for everyone.  When a summer camp for 5 days was announced I knew it was my opportunity to give my boys a newer, better memory.  Even still, I was a bit afraid something bad would happen with other kids hurting my boys again.  I'm not the over protective type and it took me a really long time to finally see what my kids were going through.  I felt ashamed I had allowed them to get hurt for so long.

You can barely see Chaz and Ryan but they're there.  LOL

Today my boys came back encouraged, excited, made new friends, and came back even more closer to the teens they went with!  Praise God!  They had a church service every day and talked about how close they feel to God and what they learned.  Ryan came back on crutches but smiling and happy.  Chaz is burnt like crazy even after the leaders kept lathering him with high SPF lotion.  He is smiling from ear to ear.  Just all good memories and they couldn't wait to tell me about it.  I think this trip was like putting and keeping the past IN the past and moving forward.  

Chaz after his fun in mud pit.  :)

We can never let bullies win.  No matter how popular they are or how popular their parents are. Bullying is bullying and it does break precious spirits.  Every kid and adult is equal in God's eyes and we need to prove it by how we treat others.  Especially as representatives for who we serve.  I know I can't prevent all bullying, that's impossible.  However, I can do whatever is in my ability to stop it when I see it.  Whether it's my kids or someone else's.  No, it's not JUST WHAT KIDS DO.  All kids learn it from others.  Either they are learning it from home or from their peers.  Just because adults bully doesn't make it okay.  

Teen leader show how to jump in the mud pit!  

I really feel like this trip for my boys was like saying we're leaving the past in the past and moving forward to what God is holding for us in the future!  :D  To the ones who brought my boys, thank you so much for being amazing teen leaders.  I can see the difference and impact you are making on the kids around you. 

I'm No Supermom...Not by a Long Shot

I'm doing some research before I make a final decision about this upcoming school year. Basically, my kids are spoiled.  I think they are spoiled rotten at times.  Deprived you say?  Bwahaha!  My kids have memberships to the huge 3 story science center, a zoo membership, gym membership.  They don't have to wake up at the crack of dawn and they get to leasurely eat breakfast every morning.  While they lazily sip on their morning hot tea, they are either listening to a family bible study by me or watching an educational video.  School comes some time around 10am or maybe starts at 11am.  Depends on when mom's brain wakes up.  That only comes after a good dose of coffee.  They get done in a few hours, maybe only two if they really concentrate, and then they start their chores.  If they are lazy about it they finish in an hour.  When they are really good at it they are done in only a half hour.  Yeah, young ones have dissected and learned the insides of some animals before most kids ever get to.  It's weird having a five year old depressed because her older brother got to dissect a frog before she could.  Yeah, my kids have it amazingly good.  I don't have to worry about late nights at church and having to rush them to bed because of school in the morning.  We have such a good life. 

Do you think my kids would be at my feet thanking me for the good life they have?  Noooooo.... they think schooling takes too long and chores take to long.  They've completely forgotten their days of public school that they hated, hated, hated.  They hated the long days, hunger, and bullying. They hated getting lost in the system because the teacher had moved on before they were ready.  They hated the hurried lunches and the lame 5 minute recess.  Did you know they've cut recess waaaaaay down?  When I was a kid we had a good 20 minutes-30 minutes of recess.  I needed to get all that energy out.  I'm sure my teacher begged the principal to give me Benadryl each day.  Something to knock me out so she could peacefully teach the rest of the class.  A week ago I told them I wasn't sure about another year of homeschooling because they aren't appreciating it.  They all cried and hung on my leg.  Please noooooo!  I took a deep breath.  I thought about it while doing cardio at the gym, I thought about it while lifting weights.  I thought about it while swimming my midnight laps.  I thought about it while showering, eating, and just before dozing off.  I ran into a book that just made my heart leap for joy....

Click here to see on Amazon

Wow!  This is about 15 different families that are all in different situations and all homeschool differently.  I needed a way to keep the attention of my kids and it seems what I'm doing isn't working.  It's just not as exciting for them.  I've been devouring this book and can hardly put it down.  There are those perfect parents who seem like they have it all together and their three year old is learning calculus and then there are the ones.... like me.... that give so much to the kids that I'm just happy to shower that day.  Do you know why I go to workout at the gym after the kids are asleep?  Because that's when I have the time.  When I go it's usually 9:30pm-12:30am.  No, I don't sleep in all day.  Heck, I'm writing this at 2am because it's the only time I've had yet I still have to get up with the early risers.

I woke up to this the other day. Juliet trying to figure out how to get
out of her crib.  Okay, she's 12 months! Help!

I get excited when I find a book that just lifts my spirits when I'm lagging inside.  I don't have a homeschool co-op or a support group.  I wish I could have those cheer leaders on the sidelines but I don't.  I have to just keep my faith in God, relying on His strength, my mind in constant study, and my heart resting in God's grace.  That is the only way I can give sooooooooooo much of myself every day without cracking.  I'm no supermom.  Ha...  By a long shot.  I'm related to some but I'm not one.  I just have to work super hard.

 

Good news!  I'm down 10lbs!!!  Aaaaaagh!  NO CARBS and lots and lots of juicing and vegetables.  White meat more than red meat.  I'm learning to make really yummy food and I can eat LOTS of it!  I will share soon on a great Souperman food I now make. Get it?  It's a soup but man, oh man, is it packed of good stuff.  Superman himself might be knocking on my door soon for the recipe. 

Living in an Unwanted Fish Bowl- Large Families in Public

Today I got a chance to talk to my dad and that doesn't happen often.  So naturally when he calls I run to the phone as fast as I can.  Otherwise I won't talk to him or another 4 or 5 days or so.  He's a hard worker for sure.  I've never in my life seen anyone work as hard as him with little or no complaint.  Today we were talking about personality types and how there are four different types.  He said there is the social extrovert, the demanding (something like that), the analytical, and something else (can't remember).  I asked what I am and he quickly said the social extrovert.  I'm not sure that's me anymore. 







Alllll growing up I loved being social with anyone, any animal, anything that moved.  Ha ha.  I had no problem talking in front of big crowds of people, singing, acting on a stage, or getting to know any person and was very comfortable making new friends.  Then.... my rose colored glasses began to be lifted.  Kids, if handled with care, wear rose colored glasses.  They don't imagine that walking down the street could bring harm or that terrible things can happen.  Everywhere they go is an adventure and they don't have the worries us parents have. 

Somehow over time my rose colored glasses were lifted and I saw life in a harsher light and so I had to wear my shades.  I saw how vicious girls (women) can be as far as judging each other's bodies, homemaking skills, talents, etc.  Instead of accepting each other for differences and seeing the beauty in it, judgements are made. 



Large family mamas fall into a special category because of being put into a fishbowl.  It doesn't matter where we go we have people staring at us, watching our ability to handle our children, and seeing how the kids interact with each other.  I don't blame them because I would do the same.  I love to watch how mamas do it with so many kids.  It's fascinating.  The hard part is hearing the comments.  You don't know whether you're gonna hear harsh words or kind words.  Over the years I've begun to pull myself into a protective shell.  I'm not sure how healthy it's been.  I don't like being watched and this week was particularly hard because I had extra kids.  I went to IKEA with 10 kids and I felt like I was part of a circus I didn't want to be in.  I like to SEE the circus but not be part of the act.  It's easy to want attention when you never get it because you have a couple of kids but I get it every little place I go.  My old friends from the past have no idea how shy I've become.  They are used to loud Jenny who doesn't mind the spotlight.  However, when you are hurt, whether attacked in person, online, through anonymous hate mail, by family, or what used to be good friends, it's easy to slide into a shell like a turtle for protection.  I hate that I've become this person. 

 

I know people say, "Well, you're the one that has a blog.  That's what put you in a fish bowl."  True.  However, I meant it as a journal escape for myself and also a way to document changes in my life.  I just love to write whether I had no followers or 1,000.  I love followers!  Mostly I have amazing followers.  Whether they are stalker followers.  People that visit secretly but never let me know they came.  Admirers that have this vision I'm the perfect homemaker but don't really know me as a person.  Friends that know me in real life and come to visit every now and then.  Haters that come just to have something to fume about.  Then I have the faithful followers, blogging friends I met online years ago that I've enjoyed hearing from and love to also visit their blog.  ;)  I've helped to put myself in a fish bowl because of blogging and I know that.  However, that's not a bother.  Mostly it's just being out in public... in real life. 

I promise you that I never intend to make myself appear as someone different.  I might withhold things to protect myself and my kids and because some things are just no one's business.  I have been accused of pretending to show a perfect side but believe me, I just blog because I love to blog.  I don't blog for applause, or a show.  I blog about what I love and care about.  I blog about our adventures or misadventures.  I don't blog because I need to air out my dirty laundry nor do I look for sympathy or praise.  You know you are a true blogger when you can't imagine going a day without getting things off your mind and onto your blog. I have a secret blog no ones knows about.  Not even my bestest of friends. :) 

I think it's time I ask God for help in opening up my heart again and not being so afraid to be watched.  After all, about 80% of comments I get are positive when in public.  "The kids are respectful, well behaved, act good in a restaurant, and can sit still."  It's those few weirdos that are just angry I have more than 3 kids and have to give the evil eye or say something.  I can't let the small percentage get to me.  I know I say that but I need to practice it.  Having a tough shell without it being a hard shell if you know what I mean.  After all, I'd rather have smile wrinkles than sad ones. 

 



Like it or not, I am in a fish bowl.  "God, can you just paint it a little rose colored... for me?" 

Don't Judge a Parent by a Picture

Negativity can wreak havoc on people like you wouldn't believe. Sure, I've been one of the people that think I know everything about parenthood. I had plenty to say back when I had no kids. "My kids will never do this and my kids will only act like that. I will dress them perfectly at all times. My kid will be extremely well behaved and will be the best kid in church and the store."



Well, I had kids! Agh! Very little went as planned. Some days I had to walk out of a store because my kid was embarrassing me and throwing a fit. No matter how much I train I still have to deal with attitudes every now and then. I still have toddlers to teach basic self control skills to.  I have preteens to STILL teach self control skills too and also managing their thoughts.  What we allow to nest in our minds. 

Kyle fell sleep at store window during photo session. View from outside mall store.



No way am I a perfect parent. Yes, I still have kids that love to wear their costumes to a store.  Yes, the costumes can get completely worn out and look like they should have been thrown away a year ago.  Have you ever had a little 4 year old beg for you not to throw out their favorite Batman costume?  Have you wondered how people would look at you because your kid wants to wear a Batman costume to the store?  One that's been worn so much that the yellow Batman logo is completely worn off?  I have.  My son Kyle used to have this favorite costume and I wouldn't throw it out till I found another to replace it.  The costume wasn't dirty.  Just worn. 

As I'm typing this I have a 5 year old playing on the piano and an 11 year old practicing on his drums for his upcoming band concert.  Lots of noise everywhere.  It doesn't mean my kids are out of control.  Kids come with noise.  I can't expect them to sit down and shut up like some would think I should do.  If it bothered me so much to have kids and noise I would just go buy some ear muffs and happily be about my business caring for them. 

I love to glean wisdom from people. I think people get confused with "giving wisdom" and just being "overly critical."  I'm a very teachable person.  In fact, any time I get around people that grew up in a large family, get ready for it because I will ask a lot of questions.  I want to know how they did their daily work, how mealtimes went, handling the laundry demon, and how the older ones interacted with the younger ones.  I tend to find two different extremes.  One extreme is the mom who expected their older ones to care for the little ones.  Even going to friends' house they were expected to bring the little siblings.  Mom was off in the laundry room, cooking, or cleaning all the time.  The way she had a perfect house was her taking care of all that while the other cared for each other.  That's one extreme.  The other extreme I've seen is to where the mom does EVERYTHING and kids just play, play, play.  You'll literally see the kid throwing stuff over their shoulder and the mom behind them picking it up and putting it away.  Mom sacrifices sleep in order to do it all and make sure her kids completely enjoy the innocence of their youth.  Not really training them to one day be adults but instead trying to completely preserve their childhood as long as possible.  Mom is completely worn out and kids grow up not knowing how to care for their own household.



Okay, so I've taken those two extremes and figured there had to be a happy medium.  So, how to do I this?  Well, I figured that although it's good to care about each other as siblings and do kind things for one another, I've never put them in charge.  Because I've made sure they know that I AM mom, they tend to beg to have the opportunity to mommy a little one out of their own desire, not something I force on them.  I use the Buddy System in order to teach them to show sibling love and care about someone besides themselves.  This means when we are out, just keep an eye out for their chosen buddy and make sure they stick together.  The older ones are not asked to take over for me and take care of all the little ones.  They are only given one buddy and the buddy system is only used when we are out and about. It means if 3 year old Caleb needs to go potty, 11 year old Ryan is the one that takes him.  Ryan loves it and each kid had a choice of their buddy.  Someone they got along with well.  You should see the wonderful bond that has formed between Ryan and Caleb. Ryan isn't resentful because he doesn't have to do EVERYTHING. 

Caleb sitting next to big brother in church



Chore time?  That's easy.  The house is split up into sections.  I know it's tempting to just have the older ones take over since they tend to clean up right.  I can't let that happen.  I give each kid a chore I think they can handle for their age.  That means 3 year old Caleb's chore is just to pick up shoes and put them in the bucket.  That's what he can handle.  It doesn't mean I have Chaz and Ryan doing everything because it's easier than finding where the younger ones are hiding because they don't want to do chores.  It's WORTH training each and every child.  None of my kids put away my things.  I don't use having kids to be my maids.  I take care of my own stuff and plenty, plenty more.  I don't do chores for kids just to make their life harder and mine easier but because I want them to not be afraid of work when the time comes for them to have to work a job.  It BLESSES me greatly when someone tells me that my kids did a fantastic job helping out somewhere and they don't seem to be afraid of work. That they worked with great attitudes.  Then I KNOW I'm doing something right.  Recently the boys had to do some landscaping to earn their way to a Navy Seals Base in a different state.  Rather than just pay the money from mom and dad, they were proud to have worked for it.

 



Of course I will make mistakes.  I'm human.  I know it's easy for people that don't have kids to feel like they have it all together or for parents of parents to have tunnel vision and criticize. Don't you think it's better to encourage?  To show by example rather than send hate mail?  Believe me, I have lost sleep over trying to make sure I raise my kids right.  I've read over a hundred books.  I've asked grandparents. I've asked grown children.  I've prayed about it.  I've searched the scriptures.  I've researched the history of different styles of parenting.  Most importantly, I learn each day in each circumstance.

I may be biased but I don't feel like a neglectful parent who can't care for her own kids.  I can't help if in the hate mail people say they feel sorry for my kids.  I can't help that they only know my family through pictures, or through my blog, or watch from a distance.  They don't live in my house.  No, my children are not starving Africans.  No we are not on government assistance.  On that note, stop attacking families that are.  You don't know their situation.  Especially as a Christian we should be praying for families going through financial hardship.  It has not been an easy economy.  Maybe, just maybe, a family started out great and then a job fell through.  You must think, "There go I but for the GRACE of God."  Pray for families, pray for parents.  Don't sit back in the computer chair and spread gossip and hate disguised as knowledge and concern. 

 

By the way. I'm new on Instagram!



UPDATED! Why Do I Struggle So Much with Decluttering?

Oh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!  Aggghhhhh!  It kills me out much I constantly have to declutter.  Sniff... Just because I'm not a perfectionist doesn't mean I'm okay with clutter.  I HATE clutter.  Let me put it this way, I love going into a hotel and only having to do basic straightening up.  I don't leave anything for the maids unless it's deep cleaning.  It EASY to straighten up.  THAT'S exactly how I want my house.  That's how it was when I was single.  I have two forks, two spoons, two plates.  You get what I mean.  I don't mind more but I don't need everything multiplied by 10.  I'm not a shopaholic and I only go shopping for what I need.  I avoid stores actually and prefer nature.  So HOW in the world do I keep getting more?  Can you tell I'm frustrated?  I think it's because I don't declutter as things come in for Christmas, birthdays, random gifts, a bag someone gives me.  I just forget and don't think about it.  Before I know it I have a big project on my hands.  :(  My husband says he thanks God I'm not a perfectionist and says he would never have wanted to marry a woman that puts house before kids.  That's nice and all but I would like a nice balance.

Last night I did it again where I had everyone empty EVERYTHING onto the living room red rug.  We call it the Red Carpet Treatment.  Everything comes out of their room except furniture.  We put back what we want and donate the rest. I have to have some compassion and let them keep some toys.  Duh.  It's just not an excess of it.  Also, the girls have been finding spots to hide garbage in rather than walk over to the kitchen and throw it away.  One day I went to put some clean clothes away but I couldn't because it was full of hidden random stuff that should be thrown out.  Not food but like paper scraps and wrappers.  Argh.



I see these pics of blogging mamas and wish my house could look like that.  I work hard every day to train the kids.  I was a little bit encouraged recently after watching some kids because I couldn't get those kids to clean for nothing.  My kids will clean as asked and even without complaining.  It's just that they are very messy.  Bless my wonderful, awesome, compassionate, sweet, amazing husband.  The other day I told him my frustrations.  I told him I want a cleaner house. I was practically in tears because I had worked all day.  He looked around and said, "It looks great to me."  Ummmm....what? He asked if I homeschooled and took care of kids.  I replied with an emphatic yes.  He said that was most important to him.  I told him that it was so sweet but I feel happy in a decluttered and somewhat of a neat home.  It makes me feel at peace.  Amazing man.  Seriously.  He always, always reminds me that God is first, homeschooling second, and house cleaning third. 



I know lots of kids come with more messes.  I know laundry piles are much more than people with smaller families.  I know that cleanup is multiplied and I guess I'm not the best one for the job.  I did fantastic at taking care of myself or when my family was small.  I just have to come up with a better plan, work even harder, and pray that God will give me the strength.  It's not he energy level because I have a TON and I can go from morning to late night in whatever I am doing.  I won't even sit down to read one of my books till everything is done for the day and kids are laid down.  I guess I would just like to be a bit more successful. 



I do TONS of stuff with my kids.  I put a LOT of time into them.  I could tell you each and every kids favorite color, their dreams, their likes/dislikes, their favorite foods and what they hate.  I love taking them on fieldtrips.  I will never replace any of that for a perfect house.  I guess I'm just the type of person that has to have less stuff to keep up on.  How these moms do it on a consistent basis without the ups and downs I have is beyond me.  If you are like that, pray for me!  I would like some of it to rub off.  I was the baby of the family and I read the book Birth Order by Dr. Kevin Leman.  VERY good book and it has me down to the "T" with my personality type.  Oh well, here is to keep on keepin' on!  I won't give up.  I'm heading back over to my decluttering pile now....

Don't get me wrong, if having a lot of kids means I have a much bigger mess to clean up then it's worth it.  I love these kids so much and yes I have to work so much harder because of it.  I'm one blessed lady when it comes to that.  Just would like to know how some of those other large family mamas do it.  :D

*** UPDATED! ***

 

So a frustrating day turned GREAT!  My husband came home from work.  I talked to him about all this.  He immediately took charge and directed all the kids to help me move things to donation boxes and put things away.  He gave a couple of them new chores that he wanted to get covered.  Within one hour I was amazed and was smiling all night.  Then he lit some vanilla candles around the house.  My mouth just dropped open watching everyone work so fast together.   I was so happy!  It's so nice having a man around here FO SHO!  I had to show this picture because that is the red carpet we put everything on when we are decluttering. I'll have them empty everything in their room onto that carpet, put back what they want to keep and donate the rest.  I emptied 3 rooms on that carpet the other day so you can imagine how this space looked just prior to this picture.  EEK!  Much, much went into donation bins.  :D

 

 

10 Reasons We Take Internet Breaks

What a rough yet wonderful weekend it was!  I felt like I really had my head in the sand for a loooong time.  I had friends amongst me and didn't even realize it.  At first my weekend started out terrible with lots of tears.  With the end of one chapter, yet hoping for the best with starting anew. 

10 Reasons we Take Breaks From the Internet

1. Internet can be a distraction

2. Library sounds fun again

3. My kids now think McDonalds is exciting again.

4. Without the distraction, church is more looked forward to. 

5. Our kids remember that really fun game Hide & Seek

6. Our kids get along better (no fighting over who's turn it is on the computer).

7. We read books more.

8. I have more time to do chores and be done earlier.

9. Less gossip

10. My kids remembered how fun vegetable gardening is.  :D

On Saturday my husband and I decided it was time again to shut off our internet. We usually do this once a year for a few months. Sure it's wonderful to have the conveniences of it but it can also be distracting. We wanted to get closer to God and closer to each other so we decided Saturday would be a good day to start.  We don't have a TV either so we feel like we are going primal. lol.    That's where our fun began.....

 

We had some kids over after church on Sunday and it was great to see them all playing together, running around outside.  The kids were all sharing their DSi's and bikes.  I don't know, it was just such a pleasant afternoon.

 

 

One of the changes in me through a recent, yet heartbreaking, experience is that you don't put all your eggs in one basket.  That can have several meanings but I'm using it for friendship.  It's good to have a close friend but is it healthy to keep it exclusive?  What about making other friends?  We get comfortable with our one friend and don't reach out sometimes.  At least I know I've been guilty of this.  What happens when that friendship goes sour?  Where am I then?  I've then put all my eggs in one basket and end up with nothing.   It's GREAT to have a close friend but it's even GREATER to make other friendships too. 

 

Last night we had an appreciation dinner for our pastor and so many people expressed their thanks for what he's done.  I know he's been there for me more times than I can count.  Any time I EVER needed advice, someone to talk to, ask about an idea, he was always there.  He's never been too busy for my family.  Also, he's loved us enough to rebuke us when needed.  It wasn't done out of anger but out of love to see us make it.  Anyone that comes along in my life and trash talks him because they are hiding sin, well, I don't give a time of day to.  Someone who committed major violations against people, and seriously hurt others, I'm not exactly gonna want to listen to gossip about people I love. If I were to compare character, why would I listen to the one that is like a serpent?  If I lose friendships over this then so be it.  If anyone talks about your pastor, the best thing you can do for your own mind and heart is to run it by him and hear his side of the story.  Pastors get attacked a lot, if anything, take the time to give some appreciation.  They get a lot less of that these days.

 

Terrible Birthdays

Yesterday was my husband's birthday and it was a rough day.  I feel so bad and I tried to hard to smile and act like everything was okay.  People can really throw me for a loop but it's time to move on, get over, and remember that today is a NEW  day.  

The day started rough when I got some nasty hate mail.  I was shocked by it's contents. How could anyone write something so mean and hateful?  How could someone do it all in the name of Jesus?  Remember that if you are writing a letter in the name of Jesus, it might need to contain some of his characteristics.  If you want to rebuke someone, do it out of love.  I had to write a letter to this person but it was written out of love, not anger, or spitefulness, or insulting.  When I thought I couldn't be shocked anymore by hate mail, this took it to a new level.  Oh well.  Time to dry up the tears, build a bridge, and move on.

Today is a NEW DAY!  :D

Towards the end of the day yesterday I took my boys and their friend to the pool for some fun in the water. It was cloudy and possibly rainy outside but this is all indoors.  The boys like to kid for the pictures and I didn't stop them.  LOL.  They are so funny.

After we got back home I asked Charles what he would like for his birthday dinner and he said tacos.  Thankfully I had all the ingredients so I whipped them together fast and they loved it. It was gone in a whirlwind. Man, if you want to not die of starvation in a large family as a mother, be sure to cook more than enough so you can have some.  Heh heh.  I always under cook the right amount and get stuck with what's left.  Good for the diet though!  We sang to Charles with a cake in hand and before you could say " Joe Biden should never become vice-president for anyone", the cake was gone.  Wow!  It went fast.

Today is a Brand New Day

Ohhhh, yesterday was a bad day.  I had a really bad headache from the time I woke up and it only mildly went down before bedtime that night.  It got so bad I had to just go in my room and sleep during the day.  Charles was home so I was able to.  I got up around 5pm only to find out that Charles now had a bad migraine and had to lay down.  His was really bad and he couldn't get up till night time several hours later.  Poor guy.  :(  Needless to say we had to miss church and our sleep schedule got all mixed up.  I dislike days like that because we couldn't homeschool or do chores.  Looking at my work load and not feeling well made me eventually cry. Not like crazy crying, just sit-on-the-bed-and have-one-tear kinda cry.  3 year old Caleb walked up to me and asked really sad, "What's wrong, Mom?  Did Daddy give you a spankin'?"  Oh my goodness, that was so cute I smiled, gave him a big hug, and was back on my feet in a jiffy.  Kids are so cute.

Do you know what it's like to have a large family and not do chores on a DAILY basis?  I bet a lot of you know!  Ha ha.  Lots of kids makes for LOTS of messes.  Since everyone was thrown off their time schedule we were all up at midnight.  Charles actually called for all the kids to do their chores.  I had to chuckle because who makes kids do chores at midnight?  They were happy because they were full of energy and mommy always blasts fun music when it's chore time.  I'm sure if the neighbors heard music blasting, kids laughter, and a mom's voice singing loudly, they would wonder why in the world there is so much racket at midnight.  Oh well!  

Whenever I've had a really, really bad day I always tell myself that this is a day all in of itself.  The bad does not have to bleed into the next.  Every morning I wake up and say, "This is a brand new day!"  It is!  Let the worries from yesterday stay in the past and let tomorrow take care of itself.  Today is a new day.  Today I will once again pray that work comes into my husband's office so Charles can go in.  Today I'm grateful that my kids have not yet grown up and moved out but they are still under my wings.  Today I still have my girls that love to twirl around in their costumes and my boys that still like to play soldiers.  I still have my baby that smiles every time mommy walks into view.  Thank goodness.  Today is a brand new day.

What Happened to Kindergarten?

Ashley at the science center

My daughter Ashley is about to turn five in September.  Although my kids are homeschooled they go to an enrichment school on Mondays.  Well, Ashley has looked forward to this for a looooong time. She always looked out the window when her siblings left and asked when she could go.  I always assured her that her time was coming and now that it's here, she can't go.  The reason why?  Her birthday is two weeks after the cutoff and even though all the other schools around them have a cutoff in December, this school's cuttoff is in August.  It's not even a regular school!  Awww, she is gonna be so sad.

I'm a strict James Dobson girl and believe that kids should be kids before the age of five and schools get a hold of them.  It seems like it's pushed earlier and earlier to learn.  I know some people like to start really young but I just don't.  They are to play and just not have those kinds of pressures.  However, because of daycare, what used to be first grade is now Kindergarten.  They even told me since kids learn all their letters, numbers, and shapes in daycare, they immediately start learning how to read once they start Kindergarten.  Whoa!  Whatever happened to the Kindergarten I knew?  We had playtime, naptime, fed the fish, reading time, snack time, and that's where we learned our letters and numbers.  No wonder why Ivy struggled when she went into Kindergarten.  She would just break down and have a hard time participating.  She was already behind.  What in the world?  This makes me sad because now I have to start PreK with them at home and break my strict rule on not starting them early.

I found this article about Arizona and their school standards.  This is exactly what I'm talking about... Arizona's new kindergarten standards tougher

Ivy and Juliet

Yes, I could start them all a year late but like I said, I'm a James Dobson girl.  He always said with boys it's good to either start them a year late or have them repeat either Kindergarten or first grade.  I've always opted to have them repeat first grade because I knew that was an important grade.  My mom had me repeat that grade knowing that it's important to grasp the basics.  Well, I guess I have to change that to Kindergarten since the expectations have changed.  Ivy still struggles because she was thrown into Kindergarten was expected to start reading. On top of that, she had poor eyesight the whole year.  I'm still playing catch up with Ivy and am desperately trying to help her.  She often wants to just throw in the towel and I try to tell her there are no pressures.  I wish I would've never put her in public school for her first year because they really made her feel bad about already being behind when she barely started.

I read this quote in the article.  "In our community, parents are working and most of them have their kids in day care. The kids are already used to structure. They want to do more, and they are ready."

Sorry, but I don't put my kid in daycare.  Not everyone has their kids in daycare.  Please don't base standards off of that. What happened to Kindergarten?  That is just so weird.

My Insecure Mind Battle as a Mom

The chickens come to our door every morning asking for Cheerios
Apparently they like it more than chicken feed.

Luckily, I've been reading a book called A Mom Just Like You.  I need it badly right now.  I relate to some things this large family mom is talking about.  I relate to her constantly wondering if she is good enough in everything she does.  Will I ever be caught up on laundry, house work?  The homeschooling issue really hit home for me.  It's not that I completely distrust schools because I know there are some fantastic teachers out there.  However, my kids flourish 100 times more with me and do great on their state testing when they do take it.  They flourish in the way of their attitudes, love for God, not feeling negative peer pressure nonstop, and they have much more respect towards adults in general.  It IS my job to raise them up in Christ and I felt like every day that I was sending them off, I had to fight "something" every time they came back home.  It felt like I was just retraining every single day.  Am I 100% qualified to homeschool?  Well, of course not.  I'm sure I have the grammar police right now freaking out reading this.  However, I LOVE to learn with my kids.  I truly love being with them every day and never have any regrets.  Having all 6 kids home and being pregnant truly plays a factor in how easy it gets messy and I keep forgetting that.  Like they say, it's like shoveling snow while it's still snowing.  Little stinkers.  They make life so wonderfully difficult.

You know, Caleb is a HUGE fan of the Cars cartoon and insists he sees it on the iPad every day.  He knows how to maneuver through that iPad like an adult can.  Well, often he thinks he owns that iPad and apparently even takes it to bed with him. He's two.  This is how I found him napping.  It would be nice if I could have my iPad back but Apple made it so cool for kids that I literally end up having to share it with 7 other people in this house.  

You know how people say that each kid you have needs their own space?  They fret over how many rooms they have in the house.  Don't kids need their own beds and their own room?  Look, I have tried to give them their own space and no one wants it.  This is how I found the kids while checking on them in the middle of the night and this was AFTER I transferred Ivy to her room.  There are 4 kids in this picture crammed like sardines on one bed.  It is not uncommon that I'll find all six kids on the bed like that.  They just prefer to all stick together.  Yeah, you can tell they are all crying about needing more space.

I was kinda feeling guilty about always sitting down whenever I had contractions and being that I don't want to end up having this baby late I took 4 of the kids to the park.  I didn't take Caleb because there is A LOT of water around.  It was soooo pretty.  Did I get any contractions?  Nooooo.... of course not when I'm actually willing to walk around and egg them on.  Well, I tried so I will tell the doctor I did give it some brief thought and followed through...

The Busy Life of Large Family Mamas

What happens when you have a mom of six that is nine months (37 weeks) pregnant to boot?  You have one busy mommy!  Between attacking the never ending laundry pile, homeschooling, and always finding ways to save money on things I need, there is not a whole lot of free time.  I'm not complaining because I'm one happy mama.  The craziness of my life brings me joy.  Odd as that might seem, my paycheck doesn't come from a company.  Being with my kids every single day of the year is the biggest payday I could ever have.  Time is so short with them I'm afraid to blink.

My latest challenge is a barrage of insults of people whether in real life or online that absolutely can't stand me because I am having yet ANOTHER kid.  The personal emails I get would shock you for how evil they can be.  Or when I get cornered (literally in a corner) with someone telling me why they think I'm having this many kids.  I just nod and say "surrrrre, THAT'S why."  The more kids I have the more enemies I didn't think was possible to make.  Well, it is possible.  So, if you are not Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, or a large family mama, you are safe.  

Want to know my latest (almost) freebies?  I got 6 Dawn dish washing soaps, 5 tooth pastes, 5 tooth brushes, 8 whole grain Barilla pastas, 3 dill relish, and one pack of Pepsi Next for a total of $3.  Whee!

Michele and I being goofy!

As I was picking up the Dawn liquid soap, a guy pointed out to me that the news had talked about the blue ones yous see in the picture.  They are safe and fantastic to wash your dog with because they kill fleas and ticks.  So, I set those 3 aside for my husband to use on our dogs.  :D  He was happy about that.  I bought some other groceries and saved about 70% off my bill.  :D  I love saving money for my family and my best friend and I really enjoy couponing and shopping together when we get a chance.  

I've been wanting a little dog for quite awhile but haven't had a chance. The last one I had died from injuries and I then dog sat a friend's dog for 5 months in another instance.  I was still waiting for my little dog and finally got the chance.  My kids are major animal lovers too and we are thinking next we might want a pygmy goat.  I might wait for better weather though before getting a goat.  Caleb carries around that chicken like it's his teddy bear.  The chicken doesn't even mind and even follows us around.  Another PLUS is we finally started letting our chickens walk around the yard wherever they want. We always worried that our big dog would kill them but he doesn't even care about then.  I hated having the chickens on the far side of the house where we couldn't see them. Now they just follow us around the yard or the kids while they are playing.

BY THE WAY, come visit my gorgeous niece Hanna's new poetry blog.  She's not just any girl, she was the first to make me an aunt, she just came back from missionary work in South Africa with her family.  She would love for you to pay a visit to her blog and leave a comment.  :)  

  http://whenthebluebirdsing.blogspot.com