For the Love of Fostering. After ABC15's Story.

Sooo much has changed in our lives these last few months.  Our lives have gotten SO busy it has been difficult to ever get onto my blog.  I guess I can say my focus has changed.  Sometimes the only free time I have is 9:30pm.  An hour before I need to sleep. If it comes off as complaining, I'm sorry. I LOVE MY LIFE!  I don't know how to explain it.  I love being a mom and I love being a foster mom.  How could I love something so much, have so little resources, space, and little money yet love it SO MUCH?  I don't know.  I feel like I've finally found my path.

My husband and I just had this conversation earlier.  He asked, "Why are we facing so many obstacles?"  I replied, "Because we found our calling."  We have hit roadblock after roadblock since we first started fostering.  The story is long and I want to write about all of it here to help me to see how far we've come. 

I'm gonna start with my third foster son James (name hidden).  A year ago we realized with him being so high needs, he needed to have his own room.  Two of my boys moved into the garage to make space.  We realized through inspections that even though we converted the garage into a room, there are certain things that have to be done to make it passable for inspection.  We realized we needed to turn either the garage into an actual room or the patio.  Maybe it'll be easy.  Nope.  The beginning quote was $8,000.  There was no way we could raise it so fast.  We reached out to Boost a Foster Family and they came out to look around.  They normally do little stuff but not build whole rooms.  They started making some phone calls and this is what came out of it..... ABC15 came out and wrote an article with a video about what we needed.

In the middle of this project James was taken to get mental health treatment for severe issues.  He was then moved to a therapeutic group home.  MY HEART SHATTERED.  I sobbed and sobbed for weeks.  James didn't deserve what he went through.  But his therapist said being in a home with a family was too overwhelming for him.  I received horrible letters from people accusing me of using him to build the room.  It hurt so bad.  I realized there will always be haters.  He began to sneak call me from the hospital and his new group home.  We talked and talked as quick as we could and as often as he could get away with it.  Unfortunately, the boss of his new group home was one of the people that wrote a horrible letter about me online.  Saying I hurt him and used him.  That I didn't really love or care about him.  She was rude to him and didn't treat him well.  Thankfully he was removed from there and taken to another therapeutic home that was much, much better.  Now he's able to call me as often as he wants whether at school or at home.  We talk before bed every night.  :D 

So why still build the room?  In the middle of all that, we had gained a new teen foster daughter and eventually also her brother.  We still were MEGA lacking space.  You can't place a boy and a girl in the same room after they are a certain age.  The project continued.  Bell Mortgage and New Heights Church in Arizona reached out to cover the costs.  Wow!  Several months later the project was finished.  Soon I'd love to post some pics of the process!  We now have 5 bedrooms and have already started talking about the possibility to add on again to help more children.  Whew.... another battle for another day.  But it's gonna happen.

Our foster kids have two more siblings that need placement and our agency is NOT allowing it to happen here because of our family size.  Although OLR (licensing) has no problem with it, I just happened to pick an agency that has stricter rules about it.  After they held a staff meeting and turned me down FLAT, I immediately asked to be able to find another agency.  With their blessings, I'm currently calling around like crazy.  I have a deadline, yet again, to unite siblings together and within a short about of time.  However, without all these amazing companies and people in my life, it wouldn't even be a possibility.  It's only possible because we were gifted an extra bedroom.  

Will you join me in prayer?

New, Hard Fostering Experience

Boy, my life just got super hard.  I have a new appreciation for my foster daughter after having received a new foster son last Friday.  In no way am I a licensed theraputic foster home.  Just a licensed foster home.  Sooooo, this is new territory for me being I have a boy with major issues and having experienced so many hard thing.  Ugh, my heart hurts.  WHY DO PEOPLE HURT KIDS???  WHY???  This boy I'll call James is a SWEET boy who is hurting beyond words and it shows through his behavior.  I lock up anything and everything that is dangerous including anything you'd never know was dangerous.  Heck, my house is really baby proofed now for sure.  This boy is worth it.  I promised to give it a shot and I promise to give it my very best with all my heart.  While he is at school I'll be praying in his room, especially the Warfare Prayer. :(  I want to write so much more but first need to know how much I'm allowed to say.   Please pray for my family as we are praying heavily for him and it takes a LOT OF WORK to keep him in check. 

Dear God, I pray for this beautiful, amazing boy that you designed and made.  I pray for healing in his heart and his mind.  I pray that any hurt that is tormenting him will be dealt with, processed, and healed.  I pray that he will learn self control when he feels like there is no hope and throws all caution to the wind.  Help me to show him the love that he so much deserves.  You love Him so much and you made a way for him to get out of the abuse.  He now needs healing.  Thank you so much for trusting him in my care.  I need you and I need strength.  Amen.

Learning to Navigate New Life as a Foster Mom

I'm exciting about hitting up the Renaissance tomorrow with my kiddos and friends.  Of course, I always have to cram as many kids in my van as possible so I invited 4 extras besides my 8. When they told me they never went before I just HAD to bring them.  Tee hee...

 My foster daughter had an emotional day yesterday seeing her mom.  She usually has visits twice a week but since the parent aid had to miss two visits from being sick, it made her worry she won't be able to see her again.  When she came back home yesterday the parent aid asked me why she was so emotional I told her that's what happens when their visits aren't consistent.  I'm a baby, new foster mom since October.  This whole process is so new and I always hope I'm handling issues the right way.  There has been a lot of adjustments along the way since I got her.  She is afraid of showers, extremely picky eater to the point where she won't want to eat at times.  When I ask what she does want to eat she always says a donut.  Ha ha.  I tell her we always try to eat healthy and desserts are just for fun. They ware never for main course.  I always cook with meat and vegetables and only sometimes some whole wheat pasta of some sort.  Her night terrors have almost completely stopped.  That's amazing since she used to have them nightly.  She had them with her mom every night even when living with her.  I'm grateful for her sake she's getting much more rest now.  :)  Something new for her is chores.  It's real simple chores for her age since she's 7 but she does them well.  At first she would cry but we made sure it started easy and built on little by little.  In reality, it's only make bed, put away toys in room, and put away shoes. Another one we're working through is school.  There are times I've had to carry her in and then have a teacher take her into the classroom.  I would have to dress her because she hated going so much she fought it with everything in her.  She used to not even dressing herself or going potty in bathroom alone.  Now she's doing all of that!  So there is lots and lots of growth. 

One of the things I'm getting used to is all of the extra appointments since they need to be in therapy.  Hopefully we'll be able to get a little boy soon.  The max kids I can take is 2 foster kids.  That's fine because that makes 10 kids here and it's about all I can keep up with.  Haha.  Our laundry pile is massive.  My dream is to one day have at least one more washer and dryer but I'm happy I at least have a set for now.  :)

Foster Care Licensing Chaos

Omgosh, we're finally done with all our foster care licensing!  We are just waiting for the final approval.  We started back in October and it took all of my free energy and time.  I'd take care of the kids all day and study late into the night.  Add 3 home inspections to that, CPR/First aid training, gaining 2 foster kids and losing 1, renters moving in and out, and just a normal large family chaos..... you get a lot of coffee.  Ha ha.  Ahhhhh, free time.  A little bit.

Large family life has really upped it's game on me.  I can hardly keep up.  I'm finally starting to realize that 10 kids (eight of my own and two foster kids) is about all I can handle.  No joke.  It has always been my dream to have my own kids but take in a couple and I'm living that dream!  I loooooove my life and so grateful for everything.  

Our foster daughter has never been to Disneyland so we are trying hard to make that happen for her. It's just gonna cost a ton to bring a large family there for the two day ticket price.  $1,902 to be exact.  That's JUST the entrance fee.  Wouldn't it just be so amazing to bring in kids and bless them with some adventures, hugs, and fun?  Yay!  A lot of time they go through some pretty rough stuff, traumatizing stuff.  I've known some that were trapped in their home and can't even go outside.  I had one foster son where his dream was to see the ocean.  He was moved to a group home before we could take him. For now, we can't wait to show the beach and Disneyland to our foster daughter.  But, ohhhh, the cost of traveling, hotel, and tickets are a bunch.  We're gonna give it our very best shot and if save like mad.

MY HEART FEELS SO BLESSED!  

Saying Goodbye to a Very Hard 2015

This last year was one of the hardest years I've been through in a very long, long time.  I was so happy to say goodbye to 2015.  One thing I'm closing the door to is having any adult/families move in.  I'll help find friends a shelter if they're in need, and I have done that recently. I just can't have anyone moving in anymore unless it's foster children.  One reason I can't is because I am realizing that my parenting clashes sometimes with other parents. (NOT saying my parenting is superior and theirs is bad). I'm active in their every day life down to the nitty gritty. I work really hard at knowing each and every one of my kids down to knowing their favorite food, color, favorite clothing item, and secret struggles.  When you live with another family that lives completely different, it's extremely hard to mesh together with rules and expectations.  I've had two families live with us within 1 year so I'm closing the door to that chapter.  I know it was hard for them to live with us as well as we have so many rules.  We have to to function well as a large family.  We have LOTS of fun and we've worked so hard to make sure we have a fun house for kids.  Kids from other families often ask to come over. Rules doesn't mean we're mean.  We just have function.  There are wake times, breakfast times, school/homeschool time, chore time, game time, lunch/dinner, and bed times.  AND ABSOLUTELY NO WHINING when we ask these things because whining is also disobedience and defiance  We even have a 17 year old friend that knows he can come and go as he pleases.  We love and trust him very much.  He's very much earned it. 

Also, this last year we had some HUGE unexpected changes.  Back in July we rescued a friend from a bad situation.  She had three children as well.  While at the shelter, DCS decided it was best to remove the kids and place them in foster homes.  I cried and cried as I felt responsible being I removed them from their home. However, they were living in a bad situation with abuse so it wasn't a bad decision at all.  I saw the kids were very  much out of their mother's control and running all over her. She wasn't used to taking care of the kids without the father around.  Also, they were used to being managed with an iron fist.  Take that away and the kids just went wild.  I agreed with DCS to take the oldest son but not the other two.  I didn't think I could manage the small girl's behavior from what I saw.  Well, it's been 3 months and I found out two months ago that the girl was doing AMAZING in foster care and was very calm and happy.  I became friends with the foster mom and we started to share days with her.  (I named them Michael and Grace since I can't say real names.) I started have a feeling in my gut that something was going on and we HAD to take grace.  You would never believe it.  I called the DCS worker and told her we changed our mind and are willing to take in Grace.  The worker told me that if I hadn't of called that day, she was about to be taken to a relatives house.  A relative of the abuser and this person does NOT have a good relationship with Grace.  So, even though Grace was in an amazing foster home, family has preference and she would have transferred.  Because I have her sibling, I get top preference.  Well, she was placed in my home yesterday permanently until mommy gets them back.  :D  That was totally God putting her on my heart and brother is relieved.  

Charles and I have been working really, really hard to get our foster care license so once these two kids go back to their mom, we can minister to and take care of two more kids.  I'm so excited as this has been my dream for many, many years!!!  My biggest dream is to work in an orphanage but since I have children at home, I wasn't able to work at one till they were raised.  Foster care/adoption is the next best thing.  We've gone through many home inspections, paperwork, and have had lots of studying to complete.  We won't be done with our classes till the end of this month. I'll be so happy when we're done. 

On top of all this, I had a baby!  Ha ha.  I forget that physically and mentally 2015 was a humongous adjustment.  I didn't gain one kids last year, I gained three!  On top of that, people moving in and out of our house.  I'm starting this year off with prayer and fasting because I'm believing for it to be an amazing, peaceful year.

GOODBYE 2015!

Halloween 2015/ Foster Care Update

It's been amazing having 9 kids here ever since we got Michael.  It's definitely been an adjustment since I have a 6 month old and they both came in our lives almost around the same time.  So instead of adjusting for one kid, I'm adjusting for two kids.  So guess what??  I fought to get his baby sister Grace so now we'll soon be adjusting for 3! We will have 10 kids!  Wow!!!  Pray for Grace as DCS will be bringing it to court to get her in my custody. It takes a couple of weeks.  She's already in a foster home somewhere with people she doesn't know.  In my care she'll have her big brother.  So this is huge!  Michael has been in tears at times worrying about his little sister.  I can imagine how hard that would be on him.  He's always had a bond with her.  He has no idea as we are going to surprise him when she gets here.  I don't want to say she's coming and then it not work out in court. 



Ryan was a blind referee

Soooo, as much as I hate blurring Michael's face out of our family photo, it legally has to be done so I don't get in trouble.  It makes me sad because I don't like to leave kids out.  I explained to him it's for his safety and just the rules but we love him very much.  I'm just gonna make a personal album for us at home where his face can be shown.  :)

My sweet kids and little nephew Prestyn.  He's such a cutie and very smart for his age.  Anyway, we had fun for Halloween.  This was the first year we bought used costumes as we decided it was ridiculous to go and buy new costumes for only one day of the year.  If I had a couple of kids it'd be fine but for nine kids, it'd be a ton of money.  We had fun storming the used costume stores!  Haha. 

One More Blessing

We have another boy added to the family through foster placement!  Tonight I start my first class in order to get my foster care license.  Should be interesting adding it to my already busy schedule.  Michael is 13 years old and the sweetest, sweetest boy.  I actually am friends with his mommy and unfortunate circumstances temporarily took them from her care.  I love the mommy very much.  The whole process feels complicated right now being the life has already gone through some major changes this last year but I know God will help me through it.



We have been talking about turning our garage into a big fun room but now it seems more necessary than before.  There are 12 people in this house and we only have 4 bedrooms.  Also, our patio was made to be an optional 5th bedroom.  We need to enclose it to either make it a 5th bedroom or open up our living room more.  Either way it cost money so that's our only hold up.  We pay everything with cash and not credit. 



Please pray that we can successfully get our foster care license.  I don't know if it'll be easier because we already have a foster placement in our home and already went through background checks and home inspection.  All that was passed.  I guess I'll see because this is all new to me.  I'm going to try and take the crash course in order for the process to go faster getting my license. :)