Today we took all my little family with us to my 20 week ultrasound. Actually, I was planning on going but my husband was sad when he came home from work and said he really wanted to go with me. So, I had 30 minutes notice to get me and our 6 kids ready as fast as possible. They boys looked great and the girls too with their bows. :D
I can't believe I could pull it off to get everyone out the door and looking decent. Its a really far drive but we got there just in time. There are never one to keep anyone waiting so we went straight back to the comfortable ultrasound room. All the kids fit on the couch and Charles stood. They were super quiet and only talked in whispers. I was really proud of all of them sitting still and being quiet so the technician could do her job.
As soon as she put the "Magical Wand" on my belly she knew it was a girl! Yay! All the kids loudly whispered "YESSS!" Charles was so happy too. Baby is totally healthy and we are even more excited that we can get things ready for her. The Dr said her legs are measuring long. I was surprised when it was all done that they gave me a DVD of the ultrasound. I could go home and watch it again! When I went home I cried as I watched it again. They are such miracles.
The doctor again talked to me about birth control and what we are planning. I told her I HATE the thought of doing anything permanent and asked if any new things have come out that won't abort any babies. She said no and knew exactly what I was talking about. She tried to talk to me about The Ring but I asked the question "I know it stops ovulation some of the time, but does it just abort the baby if ovulation occurs and I get pregnant?" Yes. So now she can see my dilemma. I don't want to get pregnant right away but I hate permanency. She told that in the ultrasound room she could see that my husband and I DO NOT look ready to make anything permanent. She said only do that if you are 100% sure because there is no going back. So, of course I go back and forth about what to do.
I really don't feel that God forces children on anyone. Yes, they are a blessing. However, nowhere that I can see in the bible does God say you must allow them to come as they may. I'm sure in the olden days they had their methods. Then I hear some people quote the scripture about God killing the man that did not impregnate the woman. However, I believe he was killed because he directly disobeyed God and what He commanded. I love having children because I truly enjoy them, not because I fear God and what He might do if I track my ovulation. Just my personal thoughts on the matter. :) Would love to hear your view.
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16 comments:
I've fully been struggling with the notion of "children being a blessing" and contraception and whether it's something i should/shouldn't do. I do want a large family, but the idea that i could have a duggar family is quite overwhelming, i love the fact that you said this "I really don't feel that God forces children on anyone. Yes, they are a blessing. However, nowhere that I can see in the bible does God say you must allow them to come as they may." i've never thought of God as one to punish if i didn't have said amount of Kid's, but have sometimes thought myself to be in disobedience if i wasn't to have a house full of kids. It's such a controversial topic and something i really can't always wrap my head around, i guess you know when you can't handle another?
- Emily
Studiousstitch.blogspot.com
Congrats on another girl!
Can I ask what your opinion on male or female condoms is? Do you see them as a form of abortion, if so, please could you explain it to me?
I hadn't heard of the ring, but from what I've read it seems similar to other hormone methods, it can stop ovulation.
-Anne.
You could try Natural Family Planning. It can be very effective, is not permanent, and still leaves room for Gods hand.
Congrats on another girl :)
I love your blog!
I am 22 (almost 23) and my husband and I have two young girls ages 3 and 1. I believe I have more kids than Michelle Duggar did by 22 lol Anyways if I didn't use some form of birth control I could possibly end up with more kids then The Duggar family by the time I'm there age. My husband and I love children and have always wanted a big family but it just would not be realistic to keep getting pregnant whenever god chose. I feel like right now we are no where near ready to welcome anther baby so soon as I have my hands quite full with the two young ones we have and we will wait another 6 -12 months at least to start trying for another. Our method of birth control has always been condoms. I think it is the most "natural" birth control aside from pulling out and natural family planning that you can use as it doesn't alter your bodys natural periods/ovulation and I am not putting hormones into my body. Since my 2nd daughter though I have become allergic to condoms randomly and we will now be using the pull out method. We are still Sort of using birth control and if god choses to bless us with another baby then it was meant to be. :)
Sorry for rambling on haha! '[
im 25 and have 5 children! after #4 we decided to leave it up to God how many we will have, and i had a miscarriage and didnt get pregnant for 6 months after, so God showed me that i was NOT in control. i always get a break for at least a year while nursing, while nursing i dont cycle. We dont use any form of birth control. I would love more!
Hi Miss Emily! Thanks for commenting. :) My doctor said I'm so fertile that I would have a kid every single year. I do the natural family planning now. I don't do every single thing I'm supposed to do, like taking temperature and stuff. I know how you feel about the whole subject too because my head spins with it all.
Iccle Anne,
Actually, male and female condoms are a perfect nonchemical form to use. However, I've tried and I can't because of sensitivity. ARgh! I would love to use the female form, like a diaphram. They are so easy to use. All chemical birth controls work in several ways. They never just prevent ovulation. They rely on a backup system by causing your lining to be too thin to have an embryo attach. So the baby is aborted.
Hi Christie. :) I do the NFP now but not perfectly. When I am ovulating we use the pull out method. I was able to go a year and a half without getting pregnant again but that's a new record for me. Heh heh. I've never gone that long.
Thanks Kelsey for writing. :D I agree, I would easily, easily be Michelle Duggar for sure with how many kids I could have. Nursing is not birth control for me as I can still get pregnant.
Anonymous, awwww, I wish I had nursing for birth control. I tried that and got pregnant right away with my second one. My newborn was only 3 months old when I got pregnant. I have gotten pregnant 3 times trying to use NFP but they were all still 2 years apart so it at least worked for me about a year each time. This time a year and a half. :D
Congratulations on another precious girl!
I also believe that children are a blessing, but I also believe that knowledge of my fertility is a gift that God has given me. I can use that gift to procreate or naturally avoid procreation, depending on what my husband and I believe is good for our family at that time. Currently, we feel that we have run out of room in our schedule and our budget to add another child to our family. I would love for that situation to change (ie. we win the lottery and can afford a housekeeper and a larger house), but until it does NFP is good enough for us. If this method "failed" and we were surprised by a pregnancy, more than ever we would see it as a surprise gift from God.
We did the permanent thing after the twins but we KNEW that was what we both wanted and were ready for.
I am very happy that our last pregnancy was twins. It allowed me to have one more, which my heart wanted, without having the extra pregnancy, which my husband didn't want. Does that make sense? Let me try again. I knew that after that pregnancy I'd want one more. I just knew it. By having twins, it met that desire without needing to argue/cajole/convince the husband to go along with another pregnancy.
I say that you do what you feel is right for your family. It's you living your life, not anyone else.
My husband was the one that did the permanent thing. I was concerned that if I did it, it would affect my cycle in a negative way. I have a relatively easy cycle and I wanted it to stay that way!
Congrats on finding out you are having a girl!!! YAY! I just love baby girls. :) You can't put bows and ruffles on boys after all. LOL!
My view is to let God control the number of children that you have. I find that after I have a baby and I nurse every 2 hours (exclusively for as long as baby needs it) that I don't get my cycle until the baby is almost 11 months old. Both of my babies have weaned themselves...literally...at 12 months. Then, I typically get pregnant about 4 months later. So, breastfeeding is a great way to naturally space the babies. In fact, when my son was born, my daughter was 22 months old. When this baby I am carrying now is born, my son will be 22 months old. Ha! Soooo, I have pretty much figured out how my child-bearing years are going to play out, barring any complications.
Like I said before, I believe that if God said to be fruitful and multiply, then that is exactly what He meant. AND, if He said that then He will give you exactly what you can handle and when. Just my opinion. :)
Sorry for rambling...congrats again! :)
My thoughts on the matter (since you asked, but only since you asked) are that birth control is wrong but also? Unless you are aborting your babies it isn't my place to tell you what to do. Honestly though I wish doctors were required NOT TO ASK because we are all big boys and girls here and bullying people medically is immoral.
I am tired of being pressured and cajoled by people to fit their little mold and if I want help I will ask for it. You know? Just treat me like an adult, and I'll be a lot more respectful. As it is I am a problem patient... :)
Another little girl! Yay! So happy for you
Congrats on having a little girl! So fun!!
Growing up I wanted maybe 2 or 3 children. After my second was born I knew I wanted a big family. I used bc off and on and after I suffered a miscarriage, I then refused BC. I just used NFP and pulling out. Fast forward to now and I am 27 with 5 kids. My youngest is 3 months. I know income wise and my personal health wise I am not ready for another baby but I will not use BC, so we are using pulling out and condoms sometime. If I was surprised with 2 pink lines then it would be a gift from God and meant to..
BTW Congrats on the baby girl
I was 38 when I had my last child- our 6th(4th son). My 5th child(a girl) was born when I was 35. I conceived 3 children two years apart-1978, 1980 and 1982 in my twenties. Our firstborn was born 10 months after we were married-1974. I read these comments and I can't begin to imagine what life would have been like if our 5th child was our last and our 6th was "prevented" from being conceived. I remember praying to conceive our 5th child and not understanding why I couldn't conceive. I had 2 miscarriages-one between my first two and one between my last two. I read Mary Pride's book, The Way Home(home-school.com) in 1985 and it changed my life. I grew up Catholic and saw many families with many children-in the 1960s(my husband is the oldest of 9 children). I let the Lord be Lord of my life and I thank Him that my last child exists. Psalm 127:3KJ-the fruit of the womb is his reward. This isn't about us-it's about the next generation.
I feel so grieved after commenting. My eyes are full of tears because I think of if we "prevented" the conception of any of our children then my granddaughters would not be here. I watch my granddaughters when they're together. My youngest isn't married with children yet but if he didn't exist then his future children,etc. would not exist. It isn't just one child that is "prevented" from having an eternal life. Mary Pride says that children are God's least wanted blessings. If we "prevented" the eternal life of my third son,Jonathan, from existing then his daughters,etc. wouldn't exist. Psalm 1:1 KJ "Blessed is the man that walketh Not in the counsel of the ungodly..." I wonder if God looks at this subject more seriously than we do. I think NFP and withdrawal are absurd. We rob ourselves of God's blessings. I have a few friends with grown children that aren't married. Maybe some parents "prevented" the life of someone's future spouse.
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