33 Weeks Pregnant and Remembering God's Healing

I'm 33 weeks pregnant and so hoping the baby turns in the right position soon and does it on her own.  My acid reflux is under control because of Prilocec so I'm grateful.  ;)  MAJORLY grateful.  Who knew that acid was a big cause of my morning sickness?  I mean, I can still get worked up fast like if you mention something gross or if someone does a stinky right next to me.  Orrrr, riding in a car with a friend who does a tootie while I'm driving.  They're laughing while I'm gagging with my head out the window.  Haha.  My doctor said that most pregnant women don't realize that if they can get a control of their acid, it'll prevent some or all of their morning sickness.  It's gone down about 90% for me.  I'm eating better (meaning less) and not needing food to take away the nausea.  Now I have to remind myself to eat because I'm just so busy.  My energy level is awesome and this has been a fantastic pregnancy for me.  

My kids hanging out in my hospital room
while mom was very sick because of kidneys

Some people who are new to my blog don't know the miracle God did for me.  I wasn't supposed to have any more kids because my kidneys were so bad.  If got even the tiniest urinary tract infection I was to rush straight to the ER.  In my last pregnancy it hit me fast.  I was just bending over to put my shoes on so we could walk around the mall when the pain hit me so bad I fell to the floor.  I had no warning whatsoever and the drive to the hospital was agonizing.

 It was very much like giving birth, the pain was so bad.  I was hospitalized at 27 weeks and was unconscious for 6 days.  It was a horrible and scary time.  Somehow we made it safely to the 39 weeks and Caleb was born healthy.  However, I was to schedule surgery as soon as possible for my kidneys and could possibly end up on kidney dialysis.  A little bit after I had Caleb, an evangelist came to our church and called people forward that had kidney problems.  I was in pain that whole night while sitting in service.  I went up to get prayed for and the pain left.  Surgery was cancelled but the true test my doctor said was seeing how I was gonna do with this pregnancy.  Pregnancy can put a strain on everything, especially on my kidneys.  My doctor said it is truly a miracle.  She had been nervous this whole pregnancy.  I have been on bed rest at some point with every single one of my pregnancies (because of my kidneys) except this one.  God is real and He still heals.  We just have to ask.  :)

The revival service I attended

The reason I wanted to share that is because I needed to remind myself.  My faith has been at an all time low, more than ever.  In the last 3 years we were dealt a major financial blow, lost some friends due to their anger of me being pregnant with my sixth child (in 2009), and dealing with other issues.  Things done against me where no one else could see because this person was so secretive about it, literally for the last 3 long years.  In the end, this person getting told on, everything was denied to make me look like a fool.  Being I have to see this person often, it's very awkward for me.  It's caused such a weariness inside of me and a loss of another friend.  I stayed out of church for about a month because I was questioning my faith.  I do believe God is real.  I see Him all around me working in people's lives.  But was He still real to me?  These last 3 years were rough.  I just want to see a breakthrough.  I finally pulled myself into church last Wednesday but I felt so dead inside.  I wanted to cry the entire half hour song service as I just sat there listening to the singing voices around me.  I truly, truly need God's strength right now.  I can't forget that God does heal, does save, and is very much alive whether or not my faith is there.