For the Sake of My Heart, Time Please Slow Down

Today the kids went to the school they go to on Fridays.  It was the first Friday I actually spent at home without the older four in sooo long.  Usually I use the opportunity to run errands and get stuff we need.  Since I was home I just did some tasks around the house.  I have to say, I hated the quiet.  Ugh.  My 2 and 4 year old were still here of course but it still was way too quiet in comparison.  The hours went by way too slow and I found myself completely unmotivated to work around the house.  My friend was here that is recovering from her surgery so that helped some.  I don't know, it was just so weird being home and having them gone.

What will it be like in the future?  My heart already aches thinking about the home being empty.  I can't imagine just being home with almost nothing to do.  I would HAVE to get a part time job or volunteer somewhere.  Most likely, knowing me, I'd want to work in a plant nursery or take care of a big garden. I'd have to be nursing or taking care of SOMETHING.  I seriously don't want to think that far ahead right now and just enjoy each and every moment of every single day I have....

My great aunt lost her husband a month ago and they were married over 60 years.  It's the first time she's ever slept without her husband by her side she said.  She asked her daughter to bring over some clothes to wash so she could have something to do for someone.   :(